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HOW DID YOU DISCOVER YOUR TOTEMS?
How did you discover your first
spirit animal? I found my first--and main--totem when I woke
up in a motel and saw a huge mountain lion (cougar) walking
toward me. (I knew she was a
spirit, so I wasn't scared of her.) Then she entered my body
by crawling through my third eye.
I never explored Totems until I started exploring Shamanism
about 6 years ago. After learning
about them, I discovered Eagle was with me all the time. As
a child, my parents called me
"Eagle-eye" because I could always find something
on the floor that others couldn't find. One of
my favorite songs was "I Want to Fly Like an Eagle"
and the college I chose had an Eagle for the
mascot. When I journeyed for my animal, Eagle is who came to
me. So, I guess my "discovery"
happened through reflection and journeying.
Hey Banjo Sally. Well it wasn't as dramatic or exciting in my
situation. For me it wasn't about
discovering them per se. I had relationships with certain animals
where I understood their
messages. For me, it wasn't about discovering them; it was about
acknowledging and honoring
them and from their our relationships have grown deeper.
I recently talked about this in another thread, for me it was
Wolf coming forward, she came as a
shadow and I could feel the presence of the pack with her, they
camped under my bed while she
sat at the foot. I was 5 yrs. old at the time and terrified
at first because she would follow me
around the house if I got up at night. Her shadow showed everywhere
I went and looked. That
was spooky stuff for a little one to take in and she would not
go away. My fear was the threat of
the 'big bad Wolf', not her. She didn't just come once though,
she came night after night until I
settled down and was able to lose the fear. She and the pack
have never left and have shown me
the greatest of patience over the years. At first she was not
acting or speaking, just letting me get
comfortable being aware of her. Today I adore her and the pack
that travels with her. They have
brought me through so much, what blessings they are!
Cinnamon, I didn't think to browse the boards for a similar
topic before I posted this. I apologize
for leaping before I looked.
The ones I know about, physically came up to me and either told
me outright or did something so
totally out of the ordinary for their kind that I HAD to pay
Sally, no need to apologize it's fine. The topic isn't quite
the same as the other thread I was
talking about and you've done nothing wrong. Keep it coming.
To be honest I dont know. I found it with the animal tarot
by Jamie Sams. there is an exercise
for finding you totem, a kind of guided visualization. I think
it was in that book. And there I saw
Wolf. In a way I would not have it any other way LOL. I dont
know why, I've been fascinated
with wolves for a long time. This makes me think about the favorite
animals I had while growing
up and wonder if at some point they might have been totems in
I was 14, doing a meditation in an intuitive development group.
It was a guided visualization and
we were to receive gifts from Mother Earth. Well, since I was
such a good student, and so open
and highly evolved, I would be receiving VALUABLE gifts, yes?
Of course. Well, I came back
with a little Johnny Jump-Up, and a wee little white mouse.
I was steaming mad. P*ssed off
beyond all means. WTF??? ME??? I guess I wasn't worth anything
after all then. It slipped me
into a serious questioning of who I was and what I was doing.
Over that next year I learned how hardy little mousies are,
how they survive major hardship, how
they survive on little nourishment and are so agile and versatile
that they will find nourishment in
most unexpected things. They are such strong survivors because
they can hide so well, move into
the little corners that are overlooked. They know those little
corners too. Hm. Perhaps little
mouse wasn't as useless after all. And lookie here. Perhaps
Johnny Jump Ups are those hardy
little flowers that are indestructible in the forest. No matter
how dense the forest - a Johnny Jump
Up will grow when there's a shimmer of light that comes through
into the moss. And well, ever
come across the flower essence of viola tricolor? Whew!! That's
So two tiny little hardy survivors, creative and curious and
mobile organisms. What a lesson in
humility. In unity, creativity, acceptance, love and mostly,
LIFE. It wasn't until I came to Spirit
Lodge that I started to really allow Mouse to come out, and
there was a huge breakthrough when
that wee lil mouse first openly ROARED instead of squeaked.
So that's me... Mouse Who Roars.
I think that's the one that stands out most and that wants to
be shared. The other journeys were
more private, and more of a slipping into step kind of thing.
Tiger came to me, the way that wolf came to Cinnamon. He stalked
my dreams, and in my child
way, I thought he stalked me. It was a bit frightening. Those
dreams stayed with me until we
moved from that home (age 14) then disappeared. It has only
been recently that he has come
back to stalk my dreams again, but now I understand that he
never stalked me, but always
walked with me. With the honoring of that relationship have
come the awakening to other of my
animal totems, and how they have been with me through my life.
And just of late...the unexpected
realization that I actually become them for moments. The most
startling , was the first time, when
I went to greet the father of (one of) my son's girlfriend...and
I didn't extend my hand, but my
paw....and I didn't shake his hand with my paw, but his paw....he
walks with lion. Since then I
have found myself inside one of my totems on several occasions.
It is a very new experience.
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