Spiritual Development

Page 21

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Empath Series
By CinnamonMoon

Empathy 1 - What is an Empath
I'd like to start with a definition of empathy - what is it? To varying degrees and levels - it's
where you can actually feel what another person is feeling (receptive empath).You aren't just
sympathetic to how another is feeling (like you can understand it) - you actually feel it yourself.
You could be someone who has a mild version of empathy... it only affects you once in a while
and only under certain conditions OR you could be someone who has a great degree of it and
must cope constantly or be bombarded with others thoughts and energies.

How to tell if you are an empath:
1. Do you avoid crowds because you feel 'lost' in them or just want to make yourself small?
2. If someone you know is ill and you visit, do you feel sick afterward?
3. If someone in your immediate vicinity is angry - are you immediately angry without knowing
good reason?
4. Do you get headaches in large groups of people?
5. If you see someone with a cast or obvious bandaging of a wound - do you feel a sharp surge of
energy at the sight?
6. Do you often have feelings that you're pretty sure don't belong to you? (if you are empathic,
you'll understand what I mean by this question)
7. If a friend is depressed, do you feel burdened when you leave them - like you're carrying
These are just a few of the ways to tell if you're empathic.. Off the top of my head.

RX for empaths:

This is a good cleansing exercise for letting go of energies that don't belong with you. I
recommend it for all empaths!
1. Fill a tub with water - as hot as you can stand.
2. Get a candle.. just for ambiance not ritual.
3. Put three tablespoons of each sea salt and baking soda in the water to dissolve
4. Add whatever scent you want to the bath.
5. Get your butt in the water! May as well take the rest of your body in too
6. Stay put until you feel the energies have washed off or been dissolved. You can direct this
through will.. but generally, it'll happen anyway on its own so why not relax? Don't be alarmed if
your water turns a hazy or very dark color. That is supposed to happen.
7. Make sure that you've been fully immersed in the water, taking care not to get it in your eyes.
8. Let the water out but stay in the tub. Picture all the excess energy going down the drain and
back to Mother Earth to be recycled into good energy. Thank the water for cleansing.
9. Rinse off in the shower or you'll be itchy.
10. Thank the candle... this is something I always do out of respect for the fire spirits. Also..
Don't blow it out - snuff it. You should never put fire out with air - even when you're not in ritual
11. Repeat as needed. I do this in the evening so that all I've accumulated during the day can be
cleansed before bedtime.
I wouldn't recommend any crystals be added to this. It's strictly for cleaning off excess energies,
nothing more. The ritual version isn't too different from this and it's one I use during the full
moon, before major healings, or if shielding others.

Simple Empathic Defense
Ok... first things first. The difference between stray energies and directed energies. Stray
energies are in the environment through the thoughts and emotions of others. These energies may
be uncomfortable but are not personally directed specifically at you. They just happen to be
floating around - like dust. If you're tremendously sensitive or a developing empath, they can be
anywhere from distracting to distressing but - they don't have to be harmful to you unless you
take them in. Most empaths that don't know they're empaths DO take them in - like dust when
you're breathing. You don't know you are until there's a ton of it... then you're choking on it.
Much of this energy will be without form. See, once the energy is hanging around - it begins to
change because it doesn't have anything to focus through. It will sort of dissipate after a time.
Like when you spray an air freshener and it lingers for a bit but then, you can't tell that you
sprayed it anymore.

Now... when an empath is exposed to these stray formless energies - it sort of gathers like static
around them and clings to their auric field. This could have any number of effects depending on
the empath. As far as your system is concerned, it's an energy source. So let's imagine you are
feeling upset that day. You would be likely to become more so because that's where your focus is
at the time you were exposed to another energy source. (one example)

To avoid picking up stray energies, which are again, most common.. Here are a few things you
can do:
1. Hemitite - use it, wear it, make it your friend. I use hemitite and have ever since I realized
what was happening to me. Hemitite is a reflective stone. Near as I can figure, it works by
reflecting directed and stray energies.
2. Salt - carry it with you. Salt, chemically, is known to short out energies... breaking down
atomic bonds. It does that in a spiritual sense as well. It's an OLD remedy for negative energies
and in fact, is still used in Japan for fending off negative spirits. It's used in many cultures and
practices as a means of purification. I also carry some of this with me.
3. Protective prayers.... blessing others. Ok... if you're ticked - you're probably not going to want
to 'bless' anyone else. But consider this - those are the very people who DO need it the most and
internally, it's a very good thing for you to do too. Turning your focus from how ticked you are
to blessing another does some wonderful things to your awareness and is well worth the effort.
Protective prayers...there's literally tons of them. Use the ones that you're most comfortable with.
These are some easy things you can do for yourself in coping with your empathy.

The Psychology of Empathy
Another form of self-defense for the empath is learning what triggers you and why. It is in this
frame of mind that most empaths will find their path. You can't change the fact you're an empath
- so in a sense - your journey will begin, as many do, with acceptance. I've seen what can happen
to those who live in denial of being an empath. In my own life - I felt I was a constant victim. In
my case, lack of knowledge that was the culprit. I had no idea what an empath was or what it
meant to be one. My path became owning that in whatever form I experienced it in. Seeing what
denial could do to my life and others lives - I made the conscious choice to develop my abilities
and grow with them. The end result means that I can share it all with you .

I mentioned feeling like a constant victim. It didn't matter where I was or who I was with.. I
wasn't happy and I didn't know who I was. I only felt 'myself' when I was alone and that wasn't
often. My teen years were most telling in this respect. I ended up in therapy a few times trying to
sort out all my feelings and find myself. After my first son was born (20) I found a
psychotherapist and we worked hard together to organize what was going on inside of me.
Psychotherapy gave me a way to enable myself... to take action... examine and trace everything I
was going through at any given time. Enabling yourself is the KEY to not being a victim of your
abilities. The rest is growth.

Step One
Learn to observe your emotions ALL the time. I know this can be exhausting at first but once
you get the hang of it - it'll become second nature.
Step Two
Learn to ask whether what you're feeling is truly yours. Again, tough when you're feeling upset.
It's important at this stage to VALIDATE whatever you are feeling without judgement whether
it's yours or not. Why? Discover the importance for yourself;)
Step Three
Choose... learn to make a choice on how you really want to feel - or what is yours to keep. This
is the 'enablement' part. You have a choice, you always have. You just may not have known you
did. That's what free will is all about. You may not be able to choose to be empathic or not... but
you can decide what you do with it and how it will affect you.

Step Example:

Step One: I feel hurt and angry. I don't understand why. I will understand why.
Step Two.. Is it mine? (No - give it to Creator) (Yes - give it to Creator and ask for help in
Step Three... I can choose not to let this anger grow. I choose to understand it and move past it.

This is a very simplified version of what kind of dialogue you can use to help yourself. It does
take practice. It doesn't happen right away and you may not be able to move past whatever
emotion you're experiencing right away. But if you persevere and keep centered on Creator and
not the emotion... you will learn.

Part of what causes that drowning feeling that empaths experience is the emotion becomes 'all
important'. That, in effect, drains energy from other areas of your life and places it all in that
emotion. That's how you become your own victim. Giving the whole thing a process changes
that... makes it a permissive thing instead.

In effect what this does is ferret out all your personal internal buttons - giving you a chance to
see them, accept them, work with them and clear them so they can't be used against you. In a
sense, you become your own healer. It won't really matter what you get hit with - you will be
able to handle it. Much like a martial arts philosophy.

I hold a black belt in Taekwondo. I've mentioned it here a few times but it leads in to what I want
to say here;) While training in martial arts I learned something very important - a perspective on
victimization that has made all the difference in my life. I didn't really learn it from any person...
more from observing sparring and my own reactions to confrontation. The perspective is this:
everything you're given is a gift. If an attacker sticks out their arm - you can see it one of two

1. "Oh no, they're going to hurt me."
2. 'Thank you - that's something I can use.'

The difference in perspective could mean a black eye - broken shoulder or your life. The first is a
victim - the second, a warrior.

When people asked why I got into martial arts I told them it was so I'd never have to use it. Some
understood that... others just crossed their eyes - LOL. You would be attacker isn't your
challenge - being afraid is. Common sense dictates that you don't walk in a dark alley just
because you know a bit of self-defense. But - were I to be in a situation that may require me to
defend myself - I'm quite able to now. No telling if I'd win LOL - but I do have the ability to
choose because now I have some skill.

What this did for me empathically was amazing to me! I dislike confrontation of any kind.
Justified or not - it's literally painful for me. I hadn't realized how protective of that fear I'd
become - protective of myself. Because confrontation was painful to me - I didn't feel I had any
choice in the matter (victim mentality) If someone were confrontational to me - I was hurt but
never did anything about it because it would mean pain for me if I did. Now, along the way - I
learned a lot about diplomacy, mind you. But I needed another choice. In the physical world -
now I know I could DO something about it. That enable choice and the fear disappeared. This
lesson has translated to other areas and aspects of my life... but most notably in how my empathy
expresses itself. I still dislike confrontation and seldom get in either physical or word fights but
it's not because of avoidance anymore. It's because I choose. And that's made all the difference.

Directed Energies and What to Do
Unintentional Directed Energies

Let us imagine you’re at work and your boss calls you into the office. He's upset about the
quality of your work and makes no bones about telling you to your face. This is what I would
call an example of directed energies. The frustration and anger ARE meant for you.. i.e. directed.
It's all too easy to not only take these energies in and feel either responsible or put out - you may
also experience the urge to take them out on someone else in turn. What do you do with all of

You could take it out on the next poor sap. First, I feel its important to note that the urge to take
it out on the next person that crosses your path is natural.. and believe it or not - healthy. It's the
equivalent of energy 'vomiting'. Your energy system simply got too much and is trying to
quickly rid itself. Frequently, the empath may experience physical symptoms for days after such
and encounter - stomach pains, headaches and dysentery. While it's a healthy reaction for your
energy systems to 'reject' the energy directed at you - you don't have to expose someone else to it
to do so.

The other natural response is to close up entirely. This is also healthy but not advisable, for
obvious reasons.

The simplest way to handle it:

1. Learn to separate the information from the emotions you receive.
In the example, there may be things that your boss is right about that you need to change and that
information is important.
2. Learn to question the emotions you receive.
You can't help the fact that you were dumped on. Even the best shielding sometimes won't stop
things that are directed specifically at you. You must learn to accept there are times that you will
have to just live with it. In cases like those, learning is your best defense. It's not going to feel
good - it's not going to be fun but it will be worth it when you finally overcome it.
When an emotion first hits - it comes with information that trickles into your awareness. Now...
where you are in your personal growth determines how it's interpreted. If you are insecure - then
likely your insecurities will interpret the intruding energies and follow a progression something
like this:
'He's upset at me' (recognition of a personal attack- insecurity trigger) 'He doesn't like me' (taking
the attack in) 'He's going to fire me at any moment.' (magnification of insecurities leading to a
conclusion) ' I deserve it. I'm always messing up. What is wrong with me....'
Now - to turn this around try this:
'He's upset ' (recognition of a situational reality)
Is he right about the information regarding your performance? If so.. correct it. If not, consider
that he is letting you know what his expectations are and decide whether you can meet them or
'Is he upset at me?' (questioning emotions received)
You know, even if a person IS upset AT you - that doesn't mean it has anything to do with you in
reality. Learning to recognize this is what I call empathic maturity. Frequently - people will
defend what is literally un-defendable because it had nothing to do with you personally. Maybe
he burned his tongue on coffee? And no - he shouldn't take it out on you... but he did. Now you
choose what you want to do with it.
Basic psychology is to validate what the other person is feeling. In the case of a higher up - you
DO have to answer to them so long as you choose to work with them. You do not however, have
to take abuse. If you're in a situation where it's not wise to voice your feelings on the subject -
then you must choose what you will do with it internally. Even if you can't understand what or
why a person is feeling something - you can understand THAT they feel it and accept that those
are their feelings. And that's a key - their feelings. Not yours, theirs.

Intentional Directed Energies

It is rare to come upon someone with the skill to actually direct an empathic attack at you. That's
very important to remember! But there are those that can and no discussion would be complete
without addressing that as well.
How can you tell when it's intended as an empathic attack?
1. If it hits at the heart of your empathy.
2. If it hits at your connection with your Creator
3. If it cuts through every layer of being you are aware you have and a few you don't.
4. If it comes with feeling of malevolence... (drippy, sickening, sticky, foul, clingy). There will
be NO mistaking it if you feel it - so if you wonder if it is, it probably isn't. This is KEY. There
will never be an intentional directed attack without it.

What to do about it.
1. Focus all your energy on Creator immediately.
2. Cleanse immediately! Use the tub version I gave in another post.
3. Begin protective prayers immediately! I have a prayer that I use specifically for this. It may be
helpful for you to create one that you can use and are comfortable with. If all else fails - The
Lord’s Prayer is an excellent one for dealing with that situation.
4. Choose against the attack. Many of these intentional attacks can be fended off by simply and
consciously rejecting the advance. That is the power of free will!
5. Set up an appropriate shield for yourself and your environment. We have some here on the site
and I'll be putting up a post on more sometime soon.
6. Learn. Even when attacked or provoked - if you learn from it, you become stronger because of
it. Choose to learn.
7. Let it go to Creator. There's no earthly reason anyone need put up with a directed attack. Put it
where it belongs - with Creator.

It's worth a word about counterattacks here. I gear these posts for beginners to intermediate in
terms of empathic awareness. Know this - you are not without power as an empath BUT with
that comes response-ability. What sort of person/empath do you want to be? Do you want to
become one like may have attacked you or do you want to be in partnership with your Creator
and move in harmony with the universe? That's something only you can decide. Remember
always that what can be used to help - can be used to harm. And also remember that what comes
around goes around. If you choose the world of counterattacks, pain and suffering - then that's
what you'll end up with in the end. These methods I've offered are Creator inspired ways to cope
with attacks that involve learning, understanding, and a basic respect for all living souls in ways
that will hopefully benefit anyone. But there are other methods which I will not offer - that
follow a different path that doesn't respect life. It's still - all about choice. I wouldn't feel right
without warning you what that path can lead to. Remember respect, no matter what you're
exposed to, and you'll remain on the path of Creator.

Empathic Renewal
Certainly what is good for empaths can be good for just about anyone, but there are a few ways
I've learned that are particularly good for renewing yourself and emptying naturally. Whether
they know it or not - exposure to so many minds, emotions, and electrical currents have a way of
claiming personal energy leaving the empath with a feeling of being 'controlled'. If left
unchecked, these will form internal boundaries that become more difficult to free yourself from
over a time.

The empathic nature is freedom because, at the heart of every empath - they intuitively
understand that freedom is truth. They can sense where everything is intertwined with each other
in the web of life. Regular day to day life, however, mirrors boundaries and limits - not freedom.
In order to function in the busier day to day world - many empaths will 'reign' themselves in,
restricting their internal freedom. If you find yourself feeling full and irritable, this is why.
First - get away from electronics. This means you need to find somewhere as far away from
phones - TV - computers and all those other conveniences that we've grown to love. This likely
also means a place in nature and I'll share with you why. Occasionally, empaths need to 'expand'
out of those perceived boundaries in order to renew themselves.

Right now - I have a good ole pen and paper, writing this article on a makeshift boating dock. I'm
surrounded by the gently lapping ocean in the warm sun of midday. I don't take nearly enough
time for this. Here - I can give myself to the cool depths of the Mother Ocean or just drift in the
tides, free for a time. I cease to be 'me' and become the swelling of the salty flow.
Sometimes, I sit at the foot of a Banyan tree. Though trees aren't as remote a site as the ocean - I
stretch myself by opening to the harmony of their energies and listening to them communing
with one another. These are my two favorite ways.

If you are too close to the city or have on practical way to accomplish this, go out at night and
pour yourself into the magnificence of the stars - or into the blue sky of daytime. Those things
considered endless, timeless or deep are the things you must seek out and abandon yourself to.
In this - there is no can't. There is always Sky above your head. There is always Earth beneath
your feet. Just as your body need food to survive - your soul needs room to breathe every now
and again. Do this to simply 'be' and nothing more. No goals - no discovery - no reflection... just
'be' with all that is and let go of that which binds you. It's the best thing you can do for yourself
and your growth.

Lose yourself in a sparkle on the water. Feel the wind tease your hair. Breathe. There is time for
everything else later. Open yourself to all that is. That is where and empath will truly find

Empathic Processing
Empathic Processing #1

What is a gift of yourself? Is it time? Is it trust? Is it knowledge? Is it wisdom?
In that which you choose to 'give' to others what do you expect? Do you expect a return of the
energy you sent? Do you expect a reciprocal openness? Do you expect love?
What did you risk?
In times of strife and discontent, these are important questions to ask yourself to illuminate your
path AS IT IS so you can create it to be what you desire, what Spirit wants it to be, and heal.

Empathic Processing #2
Challenge the validity of your perceptions. Very often, an empath will pick up something from
someone, not even know it, and then completely accept it as the absolute truth.
Suzy, the empath, was at work. She was helping out a co-worker and walked away feeling bad
though she didn't do anything to warrant that feeling. Knowing that particular co-worker wasn't
too fond of her, she began to think she was feeling bad because she'd displeased the co-worker
somehow. By the end of the day, Suzy had convinced herself it was all her fault and was feeling
bad about herself. If this pattern sounds familiar - you really need to work on this process.
First - chances are good that Suzy picked up the 'bad' feeling from the co-worker. Suzy didn't
know that earlier in the day, her co-worker had a fight with her boyfriend and was carrying that
foul mood. It had nothing to do with her at all and yet, by the end of the day, Suzy had convinced
herself it did and it was all her fault. Why? Because she didn't challenge what she 'picked' up.

Step 1 - be aware that you may have received stray energy from being around another person. It
happens. There are ways to combat it (see other empathy posts) but the raw truth is, if you're
empathic, it's going to happen. Learn to identify when it's about you and when it isn't by
challenging it. Even if you are around someone you KNOW doesn't like you - it likely still has
nothing to do with you personally. The natural empath applies it personally. Being aware that the
stray energy may have happened can save you a lot of pain and trouble.

Step 2 - If you challenged it and find it to be untrue - what do you do then? Let’s imagine that
you now know it isn't about you but you still feel the energy. What then? Then you need to
practice letting that energy go. Negativity is sticky.. gooey, if you will. Like an octopus sucker, it
attaches to you and starts sucking. (at its worst kind anyway. There are varying degrees of
negativity) What you have to do is again, learn to be aware of it and then - let it go or throw it
from you.

To throw it from you... there are a few methods I use. Bearing in mind that your intent is to rid
yourself of the energy, not to harm another - draw a physical representation of the energy you
feel is attacking. Then, SAFELY burn it, not with other things... by itself. Key word SAFELY.
I've used this method with my empathic son and it works wonders. DO NOT draw a person,
place or thing. Draw a representation of the energy you feel is attacking. You are essentially and
literally 'drawing' it out.

Second method requires strength of won't. Yes I said won't. Strength of won't is exercised when
you decide that you simply WON'T participate or feed any negative energies.. that you won't be
their victim. This occurs in the mental arena and is as simple as that.

Step 3 - To prevent it from happening again requires you to expand your awareness. Become
aware of times that your mind dwells on faults, either yours or theirs. That's usually a sure sign
that you've picked something up. Blaming yourself when there's no cause to is another key time
to wonder if you've picked something up.

Develop a habit of awareness. A journal is helpful with this step. Also, placing question stickies
around your environment can be helpful. Place a question on your refrigerator, bathroom mirror,
or TV reminding you to check your emotional state and see if you feel any of the things that may
need to be challenged.

A short note on the physical health of an empath. If you think this type of growth isn't important,
this may make you think twice. The state of our emotions directly affects our central nervous
system, endocrine system, and digestive system. Digestive disorders, in particular, have been
linked directly to emotional states. If you have health troubles, there's a chance that you could
improve your physical condition by learning about your empathic responses and keeping them cleansed.

Empathic Shields
State of Meditation and Concentration

Meditation doesn't have to be this big mystical experience like a lot of people think. It is actually
quiet moments of inspiration, it's the ability to train your mind to focus on what you want to and
keep it there, it's the intense focused study of nothing at all, and it's glimpses into yourself that
show you who you really are. If I were to sum it up in two words though it would be unfocused
focus. You don't need to chant to the oldies to get there or surround yourself with incense and
crystal pyramids. Nor do you need to honor that God/Goddess or even yourself.

I'll give you a very easy 'meditation'. Contemplate your belly button... yes I'm serious. Focus all
you attention on your bellybutton as though it were the only thing on this earth you cared to
know about in that moment. Suspend any questions or answers that come up and simply allow
your thoughts to wander. When they are wandering - contemplate the color of healing - your
choice. Don't direct it, just be in wonder of it. Look at it, feel it, be it. Those are the steps.

Now I would pick blue because red is usually associated with inflammation and blood flow. Blue
is associated with cooling. However, if your focus is fine enough - you can use a color you
associate with healing. Green is another. The duller the light within the color, the less energy
you're invoking. The brighter the light within the color, the more energy you are invoking.
Bear in mind - this is an overly simplistic version but it should be work to get you started.

Mirror shield

- in a state of concentration and with purpose, envision yourself surrounded by a one way (facing
out) mirror ball. Will it to fend off any energy that comes towards you that isn't for your higher
good. Now.. A quick note, if it's not good for you, it's not good period. The way I trained,
'benefit to all' includes you. No matter what the situation looks like or feels like - it's best for all
to grow from it.

Benefits: This shield is excellent for keeping out anyone who doesn't know anything about magic
or shielding - which is a lot of people.

Drawback - When they look at you - they'll see themselves as if looking in the mirror. This is
why I only use it with students who need that reflective quality and only for certain lessons. If
the person hates themselves - like 3/4 of the population does, they'll make many assumptions and
probably think you hate them. Classic projection, psychologically speaking. You also may
develop a trapped feeling from being in a ball. It effectively keeps you from projecting your
emotional state as well.

'I'm rubber you're glue' shield
In a state of concentration...(as above) envision yourself surrounded by rubber - bouncing things
outwardly (otherwise you could be in for trouble as it rebounds on you) You can 'program' it to
rebound whatever is thrown at you with as much force as you want.
Benefit - If someone is feeding off your energy (as is common with empaths) this'll stop it

Drawback: You could do severe harm to another this way. People aren't often attacking, they are
looking for a light that empaths carry. It's where their ability and essence come from and it leads
directly to the Source. Whatever needs to be healed in someone is seeking that light which is
why everyone has to tell you their life story "> Only someone trained can use your empathy to
harm you (as far as I know) so it's not intentional on their part. To bounce back that injured part
of themselves - with force can be devastating. I only use this one in the event that someone who
does know how to harm an empath attacks.

Fire shield
- second verse, same as the first... envision yourself surrounded by a wall of fire directed outward
but touching no one. That's important. Remember, shields can be used as psychic weapons. I'd
hate to think anyone here would use what I give as that but the fact remains that knowledge and
choice are power. I thought about not writing about this but the need far outweighs the possible
downside in my mind. So I'm trusting all who read this to use higher intent when attempting any
of these.

Benefit - would you mess with a wall of fire? Trust me, they'll know it's there. Directed like a
scalpel, you can sever ties and burn bridges that need to be burned.
Drawback: Fire can easily get out of control. As with any power, it's sweet at first. You develop
a taste for it and figure a little more won't hurt. You will find out quickly that it does.

Light shield

- etc... envision yourself surrounded by white (or protective light) This is the most common
shield that empaths will use.
Benefits: Protection of the highest type.
Drawbacks: I feel isolated when I use this shield so I don't use it. Other empaths swear by it but I
have trouble 'hearing' when I need to. For me it's like wearing earplugs on the psychic
wavelengths and I don't feel like myself or like I'm connected to Creator. I did use this one a lot
when I first started though and it was effective up until a point in my training.

So those are a few. The only thing that works consistency for me is not to shield. I learned
something from shamanism called transparency - I envision myself see through with the
connection to my Creator. Whatever 'attacks' me, I send up that connection to Creator to be
healed. The drawback is, it's a lot of personal work. I'm used to it but others think I'm nuts to
accept 'attacks'. I like to think of it as bending with the wind.

Here's the thing - the very use of a shield sends a message that you have something to protect -
which means, in warrior circles, you have something to loose. It also sends up a red flag that you
know what you're doing and can make you more of a target. The transparency doesn't do that.
But.. to keep things flowing to Creator and not 'sticking' in you... you have to learn where your
own foibles are - you have to understand peoples pain and be willing to let them have it, you
have to be - well, not there... divested of ego.. I haven't written those lessons yet but when there's
a need, it'll be there.

So... now you know.

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