Spiritual Development

Page 24

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Exploring YOU!
By CinnamonMoon

There is a universe within you. Have you explored it yet? Do you have the sense of adventure to
step into the great unknown within yourself? When we pay attention to our dreams, listen to the
silent voices of guidance, and begin to see the patterns in life we learn to hear the voices of the
stars as well…the voice of our Guides and our Inner Spirit. In this way we learn what it is to
relax and allow ourselves to float in the cosmic ocean of Oneness. As our awareness attaches
itself to this level of consciousness we make an internal as well as external connection…a
channel through which we can send and receive information according to where we focus and
direct our will.

At the same time we connect to Father Sky, it is important to remember to connect to Mother
Earth, to keep ourselves grounded and bring that information into our lives and apply it. Before
we can share it with others though we must withdraw inside ourselves and assimilate or turn to
those we know who can help us jiggle things into place or become a little clearer on matters. It's
during the assimilation period that we will note a strong connection to our Inner Spirit, it stirs our
senses…sends tingles and signals through our body with recognition of the insights coming
through, moves us to embrace our truths and to live them.

Getting to know your Inner Spirit is a process of getting to know your true Self. I encourage
those who would like an introduction to look in our Main Library for the article on the Mirror
Exorcise, it's a wonderful exercise! Mirrors can be very powerful tools and becoming familiar
with their dimensionality is always a good thing. This is just one aspect of mirror work but it's a
powerful one.

As we begin looking around inside ourselves to see what's there we're going to find dark corners,
spooky places that they are. We tend hide our old wounds and pains in them, set fear to guard the
doors they're locked behind, and forget that we are in charge of that fear. By gently going inward
to meet our truths and explore the unknown regions we examine the past along with the present
and we see how we want to transform for the future. In this we often find the things we discover
are our greatest treasures because that exploration leads us into our courage and strength to pass
through fears, blockages, and old anchors. The Inner Spirit will guide us through them if we let
it. It's there, just waiting for you to say 'okay' and realize that even when you go exploring you're
not alone, it's there with you if you will just acknowledge it.

Sometimes those dark places are very deep inside us and we must journey back through years of
debris clearing the way. As we do we take the light with us and things become cleansed, we heal,
we understand all the old unanswered questions. Things we may have given up asking but need
to be asked one more time. We find out what we're made of and if we are willing we can turn our
weaknesses into great strengths making fear our friend…after all we created it long ago, asked it
to do a favor for us and when we come face to face it's usually time for that to be recognized, it's
okay to ask fear to let you pass back through that door now. You'll know when the Shadows
show themselves and all you have to remember is that there's nothing there to fear, it is a treasure
that hides your inner beauty reclaim it.

Fear really only represents the unknown factors, factors we've often placed overly high risk
conditions on. To delve to these depths your Inner Spirit knows the way and will guide you well.
There are so many benefits to making this connection, it will lead you wherever you want to go,
need to go, or could dream of going. In this process skills and knowledge are gained and yes, it's
a lot of work that requires patience and effort but it's the kind of work that pays you back beyond
measure. Within you'll find a treasure trove of precious things long lost or forgotten and
sometimes they are buried under mounds of painful memories, angry emotions, bitterness,
resentments, so many things we use to stuff things down deep inside ourselves.

The first part of any spiritual path is one of finding one's Self and then through the Self entering
the Oneness with Spirit and guidance. It's a beautiful journey, and it will take you as long as you
need it to take in completing that connection. No comparing to others here, that's not allowed,
this is about you, not anyone else.

In this way your path and your sense of Self begin coming together and you get a much stronger
sense of direction, of what interests to explore, of what questions to ask so you can find direction
if you are confused, perhaps research more about what you've discovered and expand upon this
new knowledge. The more you explore the more you come to see the connection between the
physical you and the spiritual you are one in the same…the whole of you. And in that you come
to understand what others are speaking of when they speak of entering the Oneness with Spirit
because that's what the whole of you is also a part of.

It's done a step at a time but once you find your path it's important to stay focused on it and not
let others distract you. It's your path so walk with those who can support you when you need it
and know how to let go when you're steady on your feet....that is so important. It's very easy to
fall into the trap of leaning on others too much, becoming an adventurer isn't about having to
meet approval or follow only the ways of those we meet. Sometimes we're meant to create our
own trails too. Learn to do both, work with others and trust your Self enough to know when to
walk the woods. There are many here at Spirit Lodge who can help answer your questions;
please don't hesitate to post them. And don't stop exploring once you get an answer. Take that
answer and keep going! Find out where it will take you next!

As important as it is to explore your inner realms and make the connections within yourself, it's
just as important for you to take that knowledge out into the physical world and use it or share it
with others. This is one of the reasons we gather here at the Lodge, to share; and in the sharing
we all benefit and grow stronger. In the combined body of this community we have a wealth of
resources and hundreds of years of collective knowledge to draw from. I encourage you to make
use of that, to find your voices and speak out starting threads with questions you may have or
experiences you want to share. I encourage you to peruse the libraries and read the articles of
interest then bring your questions to the forums so we can help make things a bit clearer for you.
The odds are someone else is too shy to ask and you're helping them out by drawing forth that
information. And the odds are that there are a few if not many of us that can address your
questions and share our perspectives or experiences too.

From the inner depths to the cosmic heights your Inner Spirit is a Bridge that is vitally important
to unity with the Self, Spirit, and Life. If you want to go places you've never been, try things
you've never tried, explore realms of dimension, my friend it starts right here…right inside you.
Until you learn to make this connection you're not going to get very far, you'll find theory,
books, articles, other people sharing stories of wonder, but that's all. The Knowing comes from
the doing and I can't encourage you enough to take the steps to go within and find your Self. It's
not in your head that limits conception, it's found in that internal experience and connection and
the Knowing that follows your reality…what you really experience for yourself…and your Self.
The more you explore the more there is to discover. Not only those hidden treasures you've
buried and forgotten but hidden treasures you have yet to see. We're comprised of light places
and dark places and everything in-between. Explore your Self both wide and deep, make that
connection, and then you'll be able to competently begin exploring the Otherworlds, dimensions
you can map and grow in as you take your journeys into the great unknown. Find that spark of
passion within yourself to do something for yourself…to let it excite you and create a sense of
adventure. Once you do you'll be hooked and you'll want more I promise you. And I promise you
too that the possibilities and potentials within you are limitless.

"We must withdraw"....step one. Yup.... I need to take that step today. Though, too, it is possible
to withdraw even in the middle of my day at work. I've been way, way, way too connected. That
one sentence answered a craving I've been having. It starts today! That's why I've been feeling
like I’m lost. I like to tap and go inside. I went through the great pain inside and lived through it,
it was awful at first. But, like you said, I found the balance.
Too, I'm finding this path is asking for effort. It is seldom now that the "freebies" come along.
Being the woman, of course I'm all things to all and so, I have to again......withdraw and put
effort into me and mine. Connecting with Father Sky and Mother Earth was sooooo much easier
as a child. But, it is possible for me to touch that childish sense of openness to experience now,
as long as I withdraw. I began this path when I was in total withdraw, but I can't live there
anymore, it's not healthy. But, I do need to visit that "place" a lot more.
Thanks Cinnamon......(yesterday I spent some time with cinnamon sticks.....feeling them,
snapping them in half to get a big whiff of their essences.) Well, have a good one!


someone here always seems to know what I need next. As I started with myself I found out that I
have already been doing so for a couple yrs. now. I just wasn’t pushing it. I see threads that I am
tempted to post in but its forgotten knowledge rather than something I use nowadays. It just
don’t seem right so I remain silent. I’ve found a new sense of purpose. I’m going to get well
again. Maybe someday I'll learn to use the new tools I was given. I think I know but I’m not sure
yet. Ihat will be a thread by itself.


Karen, did you know that cinnamon is a very potent aid in spiritual work? Good for you
grabbing them and I love the aroma too.
Gypsy, be patient with yourself, like I said before, it's not forgotten, just set aside, and you'll be
clicking again before you know it. You're very gifted, and you're sensitive to the energies around
you. Let yourself open, you've got the right attitude, and I'm hearing a lot of determination in
your voice--a very good sign. Keep going, we'll walk with you.


No, I didn't, but let me just tell ya how bad I've got it. lol.....I have 3 cinnamon candles on my
desk here. I got a new can of Fabreze apple spice and delight air effects, it says limited edition so
maybe I should buy a few. I have cinnamon potpourri in my living room and right next to my
bed. And, anything cinnamon I can put in my mouth is great! I CRAVE the smell of cinnamon,
bad. Anything you'd like to tell me about cinnamon, I'd love to hear.
Speaking of withdraw.... I spent more time on my horse this weekend than I EVER have! Can
you say...AHHHHHHH....Mmmm.

Can I go off topic? I was on my mower this weekend and remembered the birds that use to dance
with me and missed them, but thanked them for having been a GREAT aid to me. But, just as I
noticed that emptiness, my horses, all 4 of them came running up to me. I saw how far the
winged allies took me....and now I feel it's time to see how far the hooved allies and I can go. I
totally understand. Have a good one!


Hi Karen, Horse is all about movement and self-empowerment. Check it out in our Totem
section! As for cinnamon, there's information in the Healing section on it, it's great and the
reason I took the name along with the color being Amber, my favorite, and of course the Harvest
Moon too. Oh I'll stop now. You’ll find information on cinnamon either in the healing section or
the symbology section, I can’t remember where I put it off the top of my head.


I guess getting just my mental health back is out of the question. All I have done so far is explore
myself. This is what’s happening. I’ve been seeing auras again without trying, my hearing is
gaining focus, laughing deep down inside, and today I felt a feeling that’s not been for a long
time. dread, despair, somethings wrong, it used to happen when people I knew were facing bad
situations. I’ve felt it all day. Don’t know who or what yet. It just came to me while typing, dads
court date was today. Gotta go find out the outcome. Bye


I remember that feeling of dread very well...and working sooooooooooooooo hard on myself and
asking teacher when will this ever go away.

Sometimes I think I worked oh so hard just so that feeling would and I remember too, noticing
one day it wasn’t there.

I wish you all the best just for you Gypsy.

Great reading on Cinnamon.
And, horse....a lot about white horses and black horses....well, those are the ones in my dreams
and now in my physical.
"My" horse is a white LARGE draft cross Palomino.
In the winter you can see the spots on his skin.
He is so large and gentle, and beautiful.
Self-empowerment and movement.
Riding Sinbad is a direct contradiction to my fears.
Because (I’ve learned) we have a horse that should never be ridden, I've seen terrible horse accidents.
And, too, I ride without a bit and saddle.
I have to be one with the horse this way.
He's a great horse.
Inside me, deep within, my dreams show me riding like the wind free of restraints.
Cinnamon feels deep, and I guess learning it comes from tree bark, that makes good sense.
I love the harvest moon too.
Being harvest time now....oh my gosh!
The moon this month just floored me.
It feels the feminine is taking over with the change in season and I am so glad to see her.
Working the masculine this summer has worn me out!
But, everything is slowing down now......
This thread of your is really timely.
I am so glad to start having the time to go within.
What's new there?
What births happened inside while I was so busy?
What has come out of the shadows that I might see more clearly this season?
What new adventure?
Is a new ally waiting for me?
Or are the old ones waiting for me to get to know them better?
Is the Old Shaman Lady picking blackberries finally going to let me meet her?
She's there, I know.
Ah, and the healing....
With the falling of the leaves, inside too, I mourn.
It does take bravery to go deep within.
Doesn’t it?
I looked into the water trough one day, like a mirror.
I had to turn away fast...it was horrid.
And, I've had dreams, that have showed me, I fear the "demons" deep inside.
But, the more I self-empower myself the more I become curious rather than frightened.
Have a good one!


Gypsy~No, getting your mental health back *is* the question and that's what you're in the
process of doing. In exploring yourself you're finding yourself so you can do just that. Seeing
auras again is wonderful, you're re-opening! Sensory impressions are getting stronger--progress!
Laughing within, deep within, is healing Medicine. This is taking stride and you're doing great.
Now the dread and despair you're picking up...Gypsy, if we are going to be open then we're
going to be touched by the different energies. When there is nothing in your life to cause such
feelings the sensations are telling you that the negative energies are coming about because of
someone around you. In this case, they are very likely your father's fears or challenges right now.
If it used to happen for those same reasons it's likely the return of that perceptivity now. With
your father in court today, yes, I'm sure that's what it is. I hope the outcome is a just one for all
involved. May Spirit walk close to comfort those fears and assist with the acceptance of the

Firestarter~I'm glad you liked the information on Cinnamon and Horse! And the associations you
have are wonderful. Your horse sounds awesome (I used to breed Appaloosas and have a Spirit
Horse myself that I ride.) They are awesome creatures, aren't they? This is a year of balancing
the feminine and masculine traits within ourselves. Bringing the feminine to the masculine and
the masculine to the feminine for that balance...union of the two...and then bringing that out into
the world. It takes some adjusting but at this point in the year it's time to be bringing the beauty
of what we've accomplished out...with conviction. It's a strong force once we release it but it's a
good force too.

Ha! Yeah, it has been quite the experience with the Solar Crone as she takes the assertive role of
the feminine nature. (My fiancé has been lovingly telling me I'm 'insolent'. ROFL) So it's the tail
end of that assimilation and now we don the cloak and walk in all the beautiful flaming colors of
Self as we step into the harvest season...harvest of Self. That slowing pace you're feeling means
you can take a leisurely stroll in the world now, get the feel of things, inhale and take in the
scents of life before the winter comes and more withdrawal with it. I'm sure you'll find that all
you've been through has been worth it and all those questions you asked will have their answers.
It takes bravery to face the fear guarding the door within us, to go beyond that doorway is a big
step. But remembering that we set Fear to guard it as an illusion of defense we can shatter the
illusion with that knowing. Then the door swings wide and any other fears we face will be easily
overcome with the knowledge of how to break those illusions as we encounter them. Each time
we stuff something we set Fear to guard over it. *Soft smile*

“I looked into the water trough one day, like a mirror. I had to turn away fast...it was horrid. And,
I've had dreams, that have showed me, I fear the "demons" deep inside. But, the more I selfempower
myself the more I become curious rather than frightened.”
Keep up the good work!

“At the same time we connect to Father Sky, it is important to remember to connect to Mother
Earth, to keep ourselves grounded and bring that information into our lives and apply it.”
As Above, so Below....?
“Within you’ll find a treasure trove of precious things long lost or forgotten and sometimes they
are buried under mounds of painful memories...”
And it's wonderful to reclaim those treasures after going through the painful memories and
whatnot in order to find them again.


I asked in that post....will I meet a new ally or get to know one better?
Last night I dreamt of Bat!
A main ally of mine.
He or she came off the tree onto my bed.
I picked bat up and held him/her.
I get an eerie feeling in my gut with bat though.
Bat is just is too much, no it isn’t, yes it is, no it isn’t.....
Bat wants to be left alone and people WANT to leave bat alone too!
I picked up a feather I found on the ground a week or so ago and looked at the sun in it.
I saw a cross.
In checks I've written lately, two have added up to 16.66
Yesterday I bought a pack of gum when 16.66 rang up!
It is the inside, deep, that does really scare me.
I admit it!
I am the center of my own universe a teacher told me.
So when demons or 666 begin to scare me....i have to look inside (!!!???) rather than think
something outside is trying to "get me".
The bat dream has me glad and excited but also....umm, what's the word? Nervous?
I can do this.
You are getting married?
Cool. Wow. That is so BIG!
See ya!!!


Hi Karen, Bat represents rebirth and in that it can be a bit unnerving. What about us is going to
die and what will the unknown changes be? We start getting apprehensive. What is going to die
will be those aspects of self that are no longer serving you and what will be given birth will be
new aspects that enhance. The parts of you that bring expansion to your abilities and
perceptions. Fear is an illusion, and if we feed it we give it power over us. If you can hold Bat
lovingly, you can embrace the transition it represents just as lovingly. Open your heart to it and
you'll be fine. It's about growth. The signs around you are of hope and change, releasing
shadows perhaps, some inner work, definitely. You are the center of your own universe, your
teacher was right. So don't fear what's inside you, it's nothing you aren't already aware of, just
parts of you that need to be discarded rather than carried. As BIM often eludes to...cleaning out
the basement. Yes, you can do this.

Yes, thank you, we are getting married and looking forward to making things official. Long story
but it's been many years in the making. Ha!


Well, congrats Cinnamon!
Cinnamon, in my dream, I remember someone watching me pick up and hold the bat. The word,
"community" is beginning to happen in my life now, after 3 years of none....personally anyway.
Even a community like this one is maybe coming into focus. Ya, I can do this. But, continued
retreating is needed. Thanks so much for the neat looking talking stick I've got to hold here! I've
enjoyed very much holding it.


The voyage you speak of is a powerful opportunity for loving ourselves as we explore the
landscape deep within. When I began my healing journey in my early 40's, my ego was terrified
to face the fact that I had a shadow side. Much of my time was spent in denial, and in trying to
find the "good" parts of me. So much healing began to happen when I stayed up one night,
candles, lit, determined to go behind the black wall of denial I'd constructed, to face the shadows
within me. They were no longer serving their old purpose of helping me feel like I was safe in the
world. Those carefully constructed defenses had to go. I chanted, and drummed, and toned into
the Universe, crying for a vision of the painfilled shadow parts of me. Deep within my core, a
rumble happened and it came up from my core. I saw an image of a part of me I came to call
"Killer." She was the one who was filled with the rage of a thousand lifetimes....the one who
created herself when being violently abused as a child for many years. She was the part of me
that then felt powerful. I faced her, and felt deep fear. I prayed to God as I continued to drum,
never missing a beat. Suddenly something shifted within and I felt so much love for her....this
furious part of me who wanted to retaliate for all the pain suffered....and the love flowed, wave
after wave of love for the protection she'd afforded me for so long, and wailing began to come
forward from my belly space. I saw behind the rage and fury and the defiance and the bitterness,
to the wounded places and the fear within her. And my heart opened wide as I held that "Killer"
part of me and loved her into healing. It was a beginning, and the hard work continued. My life
has gifted me with so much joy and many blessings. I count all the subsequent suffering as part
of the gifts that flow to me, for in each precious moment, there is abundant opportunity to heal
more and to grow more, and to love myself and all living things more. In my exploration of me,
I've found something more precious than diamonds....an open heart and deep abiding love.
What a wonderful chance to remember, Cinnamon Moon. Today is the one year anniversary of a
bad car accident I was in, and I am utterly grateful to be healing and to be alive. God bless you
and all who journey here to be among kindred souls.

Awwwww thank you, this is actually 30 years overdue, he's the love of my life (childhood
sweethearts and all) so thank you, we're very excited about it finally coming to pass.
Congratulations to you too! It's nice to see someone progressing and grasping like this so just
keep up the good work. You know, if community is emerging for you this is good, Bat calls for
retreat now and then but only to bring forth the changes you're undergoing and get your
bearings...assimilations along the way. And there's nothing like the Spirit Lodge community for
stepping out whenever you're ready as far as I'm concerned...so I think it's a great place to start
for you.


My feelings past. it took a day. sometimes it would take 2-3 days. all my loved ones are ok. must
be dad. I never developed this gift, not sure I want to. so many others to explore. My getting to
know self and looking inward holds all the answers to my problems. that and the food for thought
I get here. When I shut down it was for the good of many, my coming back is for the good of the
one. given the same situation, I would do it again, even knowing the cost. My anger has faded
and I’m ready to forgive and be forgiven. As I deal with it, I get better. for the first time in my life
I’m knowing freedom. I still have sad moments but the blank stare has been gone for a while.
Half the time I knew where I was and half the time someone could talk to for 10 min. without me
knowing they were there. Depression is a dark place, one I had to experience to understand.
There are people here that never seen me smile, they have commented on the ones they see now.


Gypsy~You're making great progress here. Coming into the light from the darkness of
depression takes a bit of adjustment, getting your bearings comes as it comes, but all that you're
passing through will become a gift you can use to help others. You'll recognize those who will be
walking in similar shoes. The spiritual awareness and connections you're making now will
become your knowledge of how to help guide them, how to recognize if they are ready or not
because you'll have that insight. It's going to be a blessing you can share with others again and
again. So trusting your process and your progress is important.

Sometimes we need to shut down, withdraw and go within to heal. There's an old saying: "The
shaman is the Wounded Healer" and it's stayed around for a long time for a reason. It's true.
Through our suffering of wounds we learn compassion for others. Through our healing them we
learn to heal others. Through the process and progress we make our journey and learn to help
others make theirs. In the pain there is beauty and in the darkness there is light...Spirit is there,
we just have to find our connection point and embrace it. You're doing so well.


I finally found emotional triggers. I passed over it somehow. Maybe I’m going about it wrong or
maybe it’s as it should be for me. I wanted to work on self first--to take down my blocks, energy
second- so I would be strong, meditating third- that’s when I’ll put it all back together. I was out
at my property with a small fire and was going to do some energy work, it just didn’t feel right,
but I went to places inside me that still needed work, things that go back to childhood. I resolved
things from long ago. I couldn’t help but think maybe some of it, is where my blockages came
from that kept me from doing what I was working so long ago, or is what I have to do to heal
others as I heal myself? It felt right anyway and I’m gonna trust that.


Yes, do what feels right to you. Trust those impressions you get, they are vital to you being right
about the future when other signs point the way. Do it at your own pace, as you're ready, that's
the right timing too...for you and this is *your* process, your experience, your healing and in that
you'll have your knowledge and the wisdom necessary to help others do the same. You can guide
them through their process, show them what worked for you and see where they might need to
jiggle things a little to better suit their particular needs. There's no right or wrong order, if it's
flowing for you then just stay in the flow.

Libraries are on this row
INDEX Page 1
(Divination & Dreams, Guides & Spirit Helpers)
INDEX Page 2
INDEX Page 3
(Main Section, Medicine Wheel, Native Languages & Nations, Symbology)
INDEX Page 4
(Myth & Lore)
INDEX Page 5
(Sacred Feminine & Masculine, Stones & Minerals)
INDEX Page 6
(Spiritual Development)
INDEX Page 7
(Totem Animals)
INDEX Page 8
(Tools & Crafts. Copyrights)

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