Spiritual Development

Page 5

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By CinnamonMoon

Blockages to our productive spiritual growth often stem from fears or emotional issues. If we are
hurt we often toss our hands in the air saying "I will never allow this to happen to me again." Up
goes the block. We forget about it because it's a boundary in place and we move on. Then
something happens again and the process repeats itself. Suddenly we have a wall around
us...keeping others out, but holding ourselves in at the same time. Stand in a tower of bricks and
see how far you get.

Fear is another issue in and of itself. Most of the time our Ego is the block that stems from our
fears. We don't want to admit we are afraid of anything...even to ourselves. It's a natural instinct
to protect ourselves and be strong to survive so admitting we're vulnerable to fears is also a
challenge we don't like. We take the natural defense mechanism...denial: I'm afraid of nothing!
I remember at one point in my training when a Medicine Woman I was working with was
teaching me to shed fear. She had me take a square of red cloth, place tobacco in the center
(prayer tie) and with the tobacco to name my fears and put them in there. Then the cloth was
pulled up at the corners and tied with white string.

Well, I couldn't name my fears. I didn't feel afraid and I had no cause to be afraid of
anything...consciously. So I did this saying "I place all my fears in here." LOL. What a mess that
was. Anyway, the next step was to hold to the pouch I'd made and sleep with it under my pillow
until I felt ready to release them. Then it was to be cast into an elemental force: tossed into the
Air to be carried by the Wind; tossed into Water to be carried by the current; tossed into Fire to
be carried by the flames; or tossed into the Earth and buried. I tossed it into the air after about a week.

Driving to work I simply tossed it out the passenger side of my window one day. It landed on top
of a snowbank. I assumed a bird would carry it off for nesting material. It snowed that night and
a week later it melted. I'm driving to work and guess what? There it is, my little red prayer tie
sitting on top of the snowbank. My heart caught. Oops. I thought I'd covered all my bases but
there they were, all my fears bundled up and starring me in the face. I kept going still unable to
name a single one...but one was growing in me...what if this thing wouldn't go away?

The next day it was gone. Whew! Thank you little birdie. Three weeks later there it was again!
Yikes! Wasn't this thing ever going to go away? I kept driving. I had to name those fears and I
had to search myself to find out what they were. Now I didn't come up with all of them but I had
a few I could name over the week that followed and one day I shouted them out at the spot where
that relentless prayer tie insisted on sitting and glaring at me.

That night on the way home it was gone.

Spring came and with the snow thawing and the grass shoots popping green I was driving by
again and guess what? Yep. It was still there. Now I was getting really perturbed by all of this
and pulled the car over. I'd be late for work if I had to be, but I was putting an end to this once
and for all.

I went within and looked around for my greatest fear of the moment and found it. I named it. I
asked Spirit to take it from me (at the time it was speaking in public and while I still get nervous,
I learned to just be me and have fun with it as my job called for that to begin with.) Then I drove

During that day's work I had to get up in front of about 300 women and talk. I was shaking, but I
opened with my story about the prayer tie, I had them roaring with laughter and found myself
right there with them. Suddenly my blockage with microphones was gone, the laughter and
honesty shattered it, and the rest of my presentation went so well that I had a standing ovation. I
felt wonderful and had so much fun with them...and so did they. On the way home that night I
glanced at the spot where the prayer tie had been and it was gone. I never saw it again.
Sometimes admitting our fears to ourselves is the hardest part. Once we can name them it
becomes a simple matter of seeing them as the exaggerations they are and removing them. It's
the same with our emotions though I'll spare you those stories. I'd like to see a sharing from the
community on this thread. Would you share how you broke down just one blockage or broke
through one fear, please?


Oh Cinn, this is a beautiful story...And one that has made me ask the same question, because, my
first and only answer has always been..."I'm not scared of anything". I was scared to say the
least when a bunch of friends gave me a present...a skydive! I had a few weeks to psych myself up
to it, but it seems the more psyching up I did, the more psyched out I became.

I played the situation out in my mind over and over, and eventually that nervous stomach
knotting feeling became quite familiar. I tried to visualize myself actually enjoying it instead...but
the fear was still there. I decided to change it, and turn it into something else. I decided there to
face all my fears at once, and propose to my girlfriend at the same time!

Remarkably, and quite quickly the feeling changed. It became surreal, and life changing. I
decided that this skydive would be my death! symbolically? yes! literally? I hope not. I decided
that by taking the plunge, all my fears would disappear, and that this was the opportunity to step
into a new life. I also figured that if I lived...it was meant to be!

Now...the amazing part is. When I turned up on the day, I gaffer taped the ring to my chest and
decided that I would give it her when I landed. When we went to jump, and I was all suited up
and waiting. My girlfriend (a tiny little mouse) decided on the spare of the moment, and in the
dying (hmmm...bad choice of words) seconds that she wanted to as well! It was amazing!
So here we were, the plane took off and my fear was being drowned by the most amazing and
surreal feeling I have ever felt. And as I stood in the door of the plane looking down with the
wind rushing past and the floor 10 000 ft. below me, I was struck with serenity....it was the most
amazing thing I have experienced. Everything was silent and in slow motion, and I still have the
picture of that perfectly clear day with me today. It was a beautiful day to (symbolically) die.
The actual jump was amazing, and I would recommend it to everybody. There was absolutely
nothing to be afraid of, it was so different to what I thought it would be, and as the parachute
pulled we drifted through the puffy white clouds down to my future. I landed, took out the
ring...and the rest is history! Because of the intensity of the moment, we both collapsed on the
floor laughing and crying at the same time. We were speechless for days.

Needless to say, I no longer fear heights, and when I do feel fear now, I remember that moment,
and how inside lays the ability to conquer all fear!


Thank you! Yes, admitting we're afraid is something that is very difficult to do. It seems greater
than the fear itself sometimes. It makes us look vulnerable...even to ourselves. I really struggled
with this but skydiving? Nope, not this chickie. I'd never get through that. Passive observer here!
Even though your own story is beautiful and I can follow it and feel your release and elation
(what a tremendous event and challenge to face!), I'd be saying no all the way! I have courage in
a lot of things and have faced many harrowing events in life but that's not going to be one of
them! I'll leave that to the more adventuresome souls like you and your wife.

Your story is fascinating though. What a wonderful way to enter into and pass through a
transformation. That your wife was willing to do it too just makes it all the more special. What a
wonderful experience for the two of you to know and share. I've always wanted to go up in a hot
air balloon though. Well, until my friend did it and the balloon crashed in a lake and they had to
be rescued by a man fishing in a boat. LOL. I sort of changed my mind. I wasn't thinking about
crashing, just the floating around on the wind currents. I'll keep my feet on the ground thanks. I
might climb a cliff or mountain to the top but I want good old Mother Earth in close proximity to me.

I think the closest I'll get to something like this is going up with my brother and taking the
controls of the plane for a bit. I've done that and it was a lot of fun, but I wouldn't care to jump
out of it even at treetop height!

The description of your fear passing away into a surreal moment of serenity is just beautiful.
Yes, I've experienced the silent and slow motion sensations for years. I know what you're talking
about there. Isn't it nice when you go through a gentle transformation like that. What a lovely
experience! Again thanks for sharing!


I usually get through all my fears with positive thought. It was 2 and a half years ago when my
husband of 11 years decided he didn't want to be married anymore. I had 2 young sons and a 1
year old daughter. All my family lived in Florida and me still in Michigan. After several attempts
of trying to make our marriage work and a few weeks of depression setting in, I saw a Nike
commercial on tv. That's when I adopted the "Just Do It" motto. How was I supposed to support
3 kids?.....Just do it. What did I want to do- move to Fl with my family, but how?....Just do it.
Where will I live? What kind of a job will I find? I was so scared and unsure of myself, but guess
what? I just did it. Every time I had a fearful thought I repeated over and over "Just do It". It
worked so well for me that I use it all the time and I'll tell you it really does wonders for working
out my fears.

Cinn- I must tell you that I have recently learned exactly what you are saying...."If we are hurt
we often toss our hands in the air saying "I will never allow this to happen to me again." Up
goes the block. We forget about it because it's a boundary in place and we move on. Then
something happens again and the process repeats itself."

Instead of saying..."I will never let this happen to me again" I said "This is definitely a learning
experience" And now that I said that I know it was the right thing to say, because I won't have
that block/boundary put in place. Instead I will remember it as a learning experience and it
won't be a repeating experience......I am growing!

Thanks for letting me share! I just love understanding these lessons that Spirit gives to us. ~Still Growing.


Just keep that pretty face turned up and Spirit will wink at you! I'm glad this hit home for you.
We can often be our own worst enemy and not even realize it. Positive attitude, thinking, and
words all put positive energy in motion!


That's funny I never said that I wasn't afraid of anything. I'll gladly admit I'm a chicking, at least
in the physical world. I have to admit thought that on the spiritual leave I'm a bit more gun-ho.
But I know I have issues that stem from blockage and fears. Most of the blockage cause fear or
come from it. I know them now it's just getting to work through them

As for a story. Umm the only one I can think of and I'm not saying that I'm 100% past that but
still there is a lot of improvement that has been done. I don’t know if it's a fear in itself. Anyhow
when I was young I absolutely dreaded speaking in front of the class. I think most children don’t
like that, if so I wasn't certainly different.

During the course of my work though I had an opportunity to actually teach and I accepted. I've
still got a lot to learn in that respect but it's a start. Anyhow, I'm not one that likes to be in the
spotlight ( perhaps this is more the fear itself then speaking in public ). But I did it anyways as a
challenge to myself and it work out great. I had great comments and people seem to really enjoy
it when I do that. It's shown me that I have good communication skills, something that had never
crossed my mind and this gives me another string to my bow. I still get nervous but it's not as
much of a problem. Now to apply this to other areas lol.

Well, come to think of it it's that great of a fear story, the great ones aren’t solved yet. One may
be on its way to solving itself though, I'm feeling a nudge in a certain direction considering a
certain situation twice now so I'll have to look into that or rather act on it.


Oh boy, have I had blockages? Betcha! I might even have some now, I do not know, as I am not
doing much spiritual work. Fears? Oh I was all my life fearful and anxiety ridden. One big
reason for all my digestive problems. That area of my body to be the weakest!
When I was working in Germany many years ago, on weekends I couldn't walk straight because
of the stomach pains I had -- pure nerves, anxiety, fear and all the rest of all the bad stuff! I didn't
have anything I could do to relax. I didn't have any friends, nobody else to talk to. Not talking
then is still my problem now, as I never learned all the words one needs to make sense when one talks.

The fearfulness with me comes more from being oversensitive, emphatic, psychic etc. When you
do not understand why you feel so bad all the time growing up, it doesn't help! I have always
picked up on everybody else's problems. I know it now and can shield when necessary (that is
when I actually do go out of the house, which I do not do often), besides grounding and centering!

Libraries are on this row
INDEX Page 1
(Divination & Dreams, Guides & Spirit Helpers)
INDEX Page 2
INDEX Page 3
(Main Section, Medicine Wheel, Native Languages & Nations, Symbology)
INDEX Page 4
(Myth & Lore)
INDEX Page 5
(Sacred Feminine & Masculine, Stones & Minerals)
INDEX Page 6
(Spiritual Development)
INDEX Page 7
(Totem Animals)
INDEX Page 8
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