Spiritual Development

Page 81

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As an interest in spiritual abilities rises to the surface of consciousness in an individual, one of
the main pitfalls is the power that exploration and insight places in their hands. Power can
corrupt and it can lead to the traps and pitfalls of wanting to control things or other individuals. It
doesn't matter what path you walk, traditional or not, that temptation is going to be there. If you
embrace it with Ego it is going to put out a call to the universe that you need a Shadow Lesson.
(By this I mean a lesson teaching us what *not* to do.)

Shadow Lessons are prevelant in all areas of life and usually arise when we need to curb our path
and activities that are heading in the wrong directions. We will either be forced to stay in place
until we learn that lesson, repeating it over and over until we get it right and paying that price of
wasted time; or, we will fall flat on our face having the repercussions of our actions recoiling on
us big time.

Those individuals coming to a spiritual path in search for power and control over others usually
find that it is not going to serve them in that way. Eventually they lose interest and fall to the
wayside, since their misconceptions have failed to validate themselves. Or...they will seize that
ability within themselves and head onto a self-destructive and very Dark Path. It is the Dark Path
where you find those conjuring up Demons and negative entities bidding them to obey their
commands and bring about the desired results...a path that keeps our vibratory energy levels on
the base line.

The backlash of abusing our gifts, abilities, and knowledge for selfish gains along these lines can
be very painful to experience. In essence a person taking such actions is creating self-deception
in thinking they can control that kind of power. It's about as sensible as jumping into a bonfire to
play around with the logs. It is a lie to the self if embraced as being someone's self- declared
right to act that way. It is an Ego that will be deflated by the truth and consequences of those
actions...a guarantee there!

The Shadow Lessons come through the School of Hard Knocks when someone tries to take
control and abuse their power over others in this manner. It is a multi-dimensional school so one
can anticipate that it will be a lesson touching their life on all levels. When we enter ritual,
ceremony, journey work, etc. or when we are at the feet of a teacher, information is imparted to
us and we are enlightened in the ways we can use that knowledge. To abuse the gifts we are
given shows disrespect. We are to honor our gifts but not everyone does and they turn to a Dark
Path in life.

We all know someone (or may have personal experience) who has or is walking a Dark Path in
the mundane world. Drug addiction, alcoholism, anger and rage, destructive behaviors that are
abusive to the individual and those around them. We all know the friendly bully that eventually
shows himself for who he is. We've seen them feel the recoil and the negative influences that
type of path calls into play. It's the same on spiritual levels and those actions are often reflected
there as well when these individuals begin to explore those realms.

When someone abuses power and their gifts that activity calls to them negative results. Sure,
they can achieve their goals and be successful in their results of a specific action taken, but it will
have consequences...usually in ways that are least expected. Often harboring the negative
emotions and thoughts that lead to such behavior in the first place, such acts will seed within the
person and eat at them from the inside out. We may not see this destruction taking place but it
does and they suffer for it.

A prime example of one who was tempted and brought about a self-destructive end is Aleister
Crowley. He was a brilliant man and his magical knowledge was extensive. As he moved into
High Ceremonial Magic he became corrupted by the power he held and it destroyed his life
leading him into a depraved life and an awful end to it. All Power belongs to Spirit and we are
gifted with permission to wield it in certain ways. Abusing that privilege is what gets us into
trouble. By trying to control other people or the entities that we call upon and rule over them we
find it is going to come back to haunt anyone. It is a self-deception that is Ego based and
treacherous to play around with.

It's the Ego that gets in our way and we need to learn to control it or it will control us. It is the
first challenge to anyone who ventures onto a spiritual path seeking the ancient wisdoms. I say
this mainly because many people come to such a path in hopes of finding a way to change things
around them and improve their lives. (Especially if they are young and inexperienced in life

When we are blessed with guidance from our Spirit Helpers it is important to honor them and
follow their direction. If we are given a warning to keep information imparted to ourselves
private then we need to heed that. Initially we are too inexperienced to know who to share
insights with and who not to. We're excited to be exploring our pathway and we want to talk
about it but others are not going to understand. Our efforts are clumsy, we don't have the
foundation established yet and we can't comfortably explain matters. Impatience is the culprit
there and Ego steps in to encourage it with illusions seen as truths. To disregard directions such
as these is disrespecting the leadership of our Guides, Teachers, and the spiritual truths being
placed in our hands. It interferes (at times) with the work the Universe/Powers that Be may be
trying to accomplish too.

These Allies work hard to assist us in fulfilling our destiny and growing through the lessons they
give. To ignore their directives can anger them and often people will be heard to say things like:
"Gosh, my Guide just up and deserted me." wondering why. This is often a direct result of
someone who has abused their path in some way or blind-sided themselves thinking with their
Ego that they know more than those who are teaching them do. At the very least the Dark Path
brings greater delays through the harsher lessons needing to be experienced before one can see
the truth before them and turn to a better way of growth.

Those harsh lessons lead to trials by fire, painful and difficult times that come from the
contamination of misconceptions or misdeeds. Self-deception initiates the first steps onto such a
path and we all have to work our way through that process. Awareness that it exists is something
we need to stay alert to. Those just coming to explore spiritual aspects are often over-eager to
know things and a half-hearted approach to their studies results. They grab little bits and pieces
in a feeding frenzy and think they know it all...Ego in action.

Anytime we are given a gift of Spirit or an ability is enhanced there is going to be a period of
testing. We are always tested to see if we will use that knowledge wisely or abuse it. Ego. This
tests and develops our character and it reflects the integrity with which we walk our path. If there
is abuse it calls in the Shadow Teachers and Shadow Lessons that instill in us the truth of the
matter by demonstrating and forcing us to experience negative results.

In essence we learn what not to do, what not to be like, what not to embrace, and in that we are
guided back in the right directions. To get turned around in those right directions is often a
painfully twisted process. It's better to not go there in the first place.

Another initiator of the Ego is when someone eager to be somebody and hungry for attention
comes to their spiritual path in arrogance. Often these individuals have a lazy, haphazard
approach to their studies and they take the words of others as their own, more or less faking their
achievements. By adopting the experiences of others as their own they imply they have that
knowledge when in truth they have only the theory of it. The can't know it because they have not
lived it. Already there is self-deception and the Ego is in charge.

When questioned about these deceptive experiences their associations are weak, their validations
inept, and they are initiating the journey of the Dark Path blinding themselves to their own folly.
We short change ourselves when we embrace lies and deceptions. We lose so much in that
process and it's better to be aware of these things than to step blindly onto a path thinking
everyone is truthful.

Those who are seasoned pathwalkers can recognize individuals who do this immediately. They
have learned to recognize the voice of truth. The individual who is adopting the words of others
to inflate their warped Ego will often demonstrate this by saying the same things in a slightly
different way. I have not seen this taking place here at Spirit Lodge but I have seen it on
numerous other sites and you'll find they post comments others have made previously
plagiarizing them.

It can be very frustrating to witness the novices who come to find truths attaching to these
individuals hoping to learn from them. Sometimes you can see it happen and intercede through
pointing out this issue to begin with, but often by the time that is recognized it's too late. The
novice is in effect under their spell and being led astray. At that point there is nothing to do but
step back and observe another student entering the School of Hard Knocks.

Be aware that not everyone that espouses knowledge is a good Teacher, nor do they walk a
proper path of enlightenment. When you meet someone look at them with discernment, listen to
their words and see if there is Ego behind them. Ask yourself: Where do they place the honor? Is
it given to Spirit or do they claim it as their own? Is it found in their actions being of service to
others or themselves? Who stands to gain the most in that relationship? Are they wanting a
following or is there a simple and genuine desire to help someone discover a truth and then go
their way? Why is that person so willing to take you on as a student in the first place? Are they
quick to embrace you or are they cautious to see if you are worthy of what they hold and can share?

You see, an individual that has worked hard to glean knowledge, who has fought to achieve a
state of heightened awareness and understanding, who has struggled to master their own abilities
and gifts is not going to toss that before the feet of just anyone. It was hard won and it is valued
too deeply to be dishonored in such a way. If anyone eagerly offers to teach you all they know
without getting to know you first then your radar should be sounding loudly and you should be
on your way into the hills to get as far away from them as possible. If it seems too good to be
true it more than likely is. Nothing worth gaining comes easily. There are no fast tracks or
shortcuts to spiritual enlightenment other than at the hand of Spirit.

Learn that you do have an Ego. Everyone does. Learn how it interferes in your perceptions and
you have a powerful insight into yourself that will allow you to control it, to shield yourself from
these traps and pitfalls. In the natural course of events we are going to fall prey to it from time to
time. We can't gain control over it without experiencing it's down side since we can't appreciate
the risk without that experience. But once aware and consciously taking control we can curb
those experiences considerably.

We're all human. We all make mistakes. But learning from those mistakes allows us to grow and
achieve so much more. There are two paths in any given tradition no matter what culture it
comes from or what dogma it presents. The paths of Darkness and Light...of right and wrong
actions and perceptions. We all know the difference. Between these two paths are the Grey Areas
and you cannot assume everything is going to be black or white.

The Grey Areas are those that test our character, they call for us to exercise our integrity, and to
base our actions on the best possible choices. Learning to maneuver our way through them is
what the spiritual quest is about. It's about understanding our Self first so that we can see our
way to understanding others and the challenges they are facing. It's about finding the ethical way
to serve others and not bending those ethics just because it's easy to do. It may appear to save
time or make our efforts less taxing but in the end the Ego always loses.

Begin your path with good footing. Do not assume you know more or are wiser than those who
bless you with their precious time and knowledge. Learn from them, honor their teachings, and
do the right thing. You'll save yourself a lot of wasted time, grief, and energy in learning this
way than having to go back to square one and start over. No one wants to go through the
nightmare of a twisted corruption of their path, and those who let the Ego rule are blind to the
fact that they are bringing on these experiences themselves.

For this reason, any decent Teacher is going to put you through the paces. Making sure that the
foundations you lay are solid. Making sure you understand the basics and get off to a good start.
It's a slow process at first but well worth your effort as it will allow you to start running that
course soon enough. Be patient with those basics. They are the strength with which you will base
your entire path on and they will bring you the tools you need to walk it well.

Initially there is a tremendous amount of reading you will be doing to get a feel for things. I
encourage you to read everything you can get your hands on. Truths will be seeded everywhere
and they will start standing out to you as facts being repeatedly presented time and again through
multiple sources. When you find an Author you can relate to, who stands in good stead among
others and whose voice is strong, read their material and decipher it for yourself. Then test what
they say with exercises that bring you the results of your efforts. If you find that you are gaining
ground continue. If you get nowhere move on and seek another.

Talk to those you meet with more experience. Ask them who they recommend. You'll find the
better Authors names coming up time and again. Those who mislead will also be brought to your
attention as experienced individuals will attempt to dissuade you from following their teachings.
Controversial Authors are going to be those that walk a fine line of truth and exaggerations, or
abortions of the truths in most cases. So there you will have to again be discerning and decide for
yourself if their words are to be valued.

There is no one way to do things other than by trusting your own inner voice to guide you.
Learning to trust it is going to keep you in good stead and it will be the best source of advice you
hold. See your own Inner Spirit as your truest friend. It is. Listen to it when it warns you about
matters and know that the warning is there for a very good reason. It has nothing to gain by
deceiving you. Your Ego does. Listen to it when it tells you to explore things too, it knows where
you need to go and has the internal roadmap.

Remember that knowledge is compiled, but wisdom is found in experience and knowing how
and when to apply it.


Very nice Cinn for me it rings a bell, on the spiritual and physical level. On the spiritual, well
I've learned a lesson in that way a couple of years back and let's say I am not one to flaunt my
gifts anymore.

On a personal level or physical one well I getting the backlash of letting things go as to me it
seems it was going with the flow but that was not the case and now I am rewarded with what I
have sowed.

It a harsh lesson for me but it's something I have to deal with as I have no one but myself to
blame for that. At least the circumstances leave me with a chance to put things right or rather
right the wrongs and change the pattern for the future. In a nutshell letting things go doesn't me
letting things go literally... well I understand myself here.


Oh God, School of Hard Knocks...I've been there. The saddest part is that for a while I tried to
convince myself that I knew no better.
I thank Great Spirit for showing me the difference and giving me the opportunity to make it


This post was initiated by a another on SS and I thought I'd share my reply here to a comment
made there. Make sense?

Ego is that Shaman/ess that has become the Showman. A mark of taking a Dark Path for it feeds
lust, greed, and power of Self to be greater than others. It is a false path. It is what an old friend
of mine calls *Candy Shamanism* the "wannabe".

Ego is lost and humbleness attained through the experience of spiritual events and growth along
our path. Through understanding and recognizing the truths that are presented at such times.
During Vision Quest I was lifted up into Spirit, my own spirit expanding with the infinity of the
universe...I was not restricted by size or boundary. I heard the Star Song and knew what cosmic
harmony was. I was allowed to see through Spirit's eyes a 360 degree view of space, time, and
eventually my own life and reality. I was shapeshifting and merging and understanding beyond
words what it was to be a part of the Web of Life and All Our Relations...I was given the
overview and as part of a shamanic death I was gifted with certain knowledge that deserved deep

These gifts were so powerful that I was in awe I would be so honored...or found worthy to hold
them. Ego? No way! There's no room for it. It falls to dust. I wept, I laughed, and I Danced with
Spirit. I felt what it was to be so blessed and truly made humble in the experience. It was a
purification of mind, body, and spirit ... it washed me clean so that I could embrace the gifts I
was given and honor them appropriately.

I was "made ready" to use them. I knew the source of that knowledge was Spirit's and that to use
that knowledge meant I'd been given permission but needed to see cause to apply them each time
they were used for in order to use them I had to become part of the *we*...the *I* could not
stand alone there and calling on that Medicine meant I had to enter into union with Spirit to do so.

As each enlightenment, each journey, each venture into Oneness with Spirit is achieved there is
less and less room for Ego for the illusion it casts in shadow around us fades to nothing.
Spirit shines the light so brightly that no lies or deceptions can stand in it and therefore
falsehood (ere Ego) has no life. It cannot exist there. To return from such an experience brings
with it a humble and blessed insight that becomes a part of us. Where Spirit lives there is no
room for Ego. So as we grow and embrace Spirit more with each stage of that growth the Ego is
lost. It may try to come back, we are human, but within the enlightened understanding we
achieve we also learn to recognize it and quickly banish it again. We know it is *wrong* just as
we know when things are *right*. Spirit has taught us how to decipher those things.
We are no longer the *I* and instead are a part of the Oneness because we have been shown
that interconnectedness and realize that all that we do, all of it...well, we do it to the Whole and
thus to ourselves. Once that's recognized the consciousness is elevated, our sense of awareness
comes to a heightened state, we evolve spiritually and this is reflected in our mundane reality
through our actions...we have "BE-come" what we truly are.

Have you ever looked at the countenance of a deeply spiritual person...a Healer, a Shaman/ess, a
Holy Person, a Priest/ess? Can you not see the peace within them? The glow of their being? The
lines in their face mapping their sacrifices? The compassion in their eyes reflecting their
understanding? And the words they speak reflecting Spirit's presence in their hearts? This is the
state of Grace Spirit presents when the Ego is slain and the Self emerges...this Self is the Inner
Spirit and we are made Witnesses to it so that we may embrace it and with that embrace the
unity. This is the mark of the Shaman/ess or Medicine Person...not a showman.
IMHO the only showman I can see on a shamanic path of service is the Heyoka...the
Contrary...the one that teaches us through their Medicine what *not* to do and teaches it with
humor...the one that Dances with Coyote and understands the Medicine that is present in such
actions. Even there the Ego is not present, it is mocked.


Hi Cinnamon
That's the post you posted at SS in which I was led to write you in the first place. Which led me
here. And coincidentally (nah, I don't believe in coincidence), the original post you've posted in
this thread is which I feel compelled to reply to. *smiles at Spirit's great power*

First I want to respond about the guy who follows the Spirit power with his ego. I could swear
you were posting about my ex and children's father. We began our Spiritual path together. We
studied, we meditated, and found many wonderful hot springs in which to sit and discuss some of
our learnings. ~ His ego was great, and he loved to be the one whom people went to to learn. He
began to use this as a way to control me.... I mean, at times I would fall into unbalanced states,
he would throw this at me acting as if he was great and I shouldn't bother learning because I was
so wrong. I think you get the picture. He was abusive, and used Spirit to back him up. All of
what you described could be describing him.

Anyway, when I got pregnant for my daughter, he became physically abusive as well. I left him,
and she only met him once for two weeks when she was two months old. ~ I lost contact with
him. And about a month ago, his mother contacted me to tell me of his suicide.
This was very sad for me. I'd always held to hope that he could get it together.
Anyway, your post also deals with the school of hard knocks. At this point in my life, I'm feeling
this as well. My financial matters have gone from being fine to almost nothing. These
circumstances are from dipping into savings to pay for this past unreasonably cold winter, then
unexpected car repairs. My relationship with my current boyfriend is sooooo wonderful, yet
external matters are threatening us at this time. ~ It seems that all areas of my life are up for grabs.~

I am positive the above mentioned is not because of my ex. I have done much for myself and my
children in the years since we've broken up. Though, just today, two pieces of jewelry he'd given
me have shown up from out of 'nowhere'... it makes me wonder, though, if he is trying to contact
me from the other side.....

I am not complaining about these matters. I know that each experience which comes to us is an
opportunity for learning. I'm only confused, as I keep trying to remain open so Spirit can show
me what I need to see. Though as of yet, that hasn't happened yet. I'm trying, though.


See how Spirit works? And between SL and SS the door swings both ways. Each site has different
perspectives and flavors along the same lines so we do complement one another very well. Nope,
I don't believe in coincidences either. Spirit is too good at orchestration for that! LOL.
I can relate to what you are saying about the Ego driven practitioner. I went through something
similar back in '69. He didn't take his life "intentionally" according to medical determinations
but he did take it "accidentally"...coincidence?

People do find some creative ways to feed their Egos and often that is done with what many call
"glamour"...creating an illusion and in this case one of grandeur. As time passes the individual
begins to believe their own false image and then the lust for power really grows strong. The
teachings I've received have always pointed gratitude, thanksgiving, and power toward
Spirit...the Source of all things. We can tap it, channel it, and merge with it, but we don't *own*
it. The person who has a big Ego thinks that power belongs to them. It's a fine line, it belongs to
Spirit but with permission we may use it.

I always felt the Ceremonial Magicians path fed Ego very well. Not that all Ceremonial
Magicians are Ego based people, far from that, but there is a measure of "control" over entities
that are summoned, conjured, and invoked. That never sat well with me since I don't like
"telling" entities what to do. I think it's disrespectful. If our intentions are for the higher good
then I've found that they are more than willing to work with us and help us achieve the ends we
are striving for. You don't have to bind them to you. I like my own free will respected and
therefore I respect the free will of others. Fair is fair.

Many people use their position as a means of control over others, be it entities, spouses, family,
friends, their students, or some other form of rule. Their greed becomes a lusting for that power
with a false sense of self to mask the truth. In this way they continue to feed their negative traits,
these traits then become corrupted and grow in tainted soil. In attempts to control others the
individual literally fools the Self in a deceptive false role and by doing so becomes unbalanced.
Unbalanced minds affect the rest of our makeup too, they bring in unbalanced emotions,
unbalanced health conditions, and unbalanced logic. The Self, now corrupted, begins to be the
means of its own self-destructive behavior. The greater the delusion of self-importance the
harder the fall and the more corrupt a person becomes on the way down. As that corruption
takes place others begin to draw back and the person feels the need to take more control to pull
them closer again. It's a tug-of-war but the battle is within.

Ego-based individuals, will always draw others into their web of deception and there are many
hurts along that path. They do take victims who are at first blind to what is happening, perhaps
seeking knowledge and not knowing how to judge the source, they think this individual is helping
them. It seems that way, tidbits are tossed out and then when the munching on them begins the
twisted truths are presented until the person is trapped in a situation they must fight to get out of.
It's important to understand the Ego when we seek a teacher or mentor. The best way to avoid it
is to look at the countenance of the person. A well-balanced individual is going to show you no
arrogance, no self-centeredness, no conceit, but instead there will be compassion,
understanding, and good-natured sharing along some very serious lines. The work and exercises
they have you doing will be for your growth, not their benefit. The reward for this person is in
the giving, not the taking. IMHO. They don't belittle you, they don't make you feel weak and
insignificant, they work to make *you* stronger, more enlightened, and they set you free as
opposed to holding you back. There is no abuse when you walk the right path (whatever that may
be). There is only nurturing and seeking to share Spirit's love by letting it flow through you.
I can't imagine how someone could use Spirit (with a clear conscience) as a means of controlling
others, but I know it happens, I've run into it plenty of times. Ego can get very ugly. If it is fed
and it gorges itself it becomes tyranny. Eventually it leads to the downfall not the uplifting.
People are eaten away on the inside on some level (physical, mental, spiritual, emotional) or
combination thereof and they will find it destroys them accordingly. Suicide, cancer, terminal
illness (dis-ease), depression, eventually it will be their undoing.

Many think that the Ego-driven person "gets away with it". That's not the case however. It may
appear to be that way on the outside, but it all catches up with them and inside they are very
twisted and they suffer tremendous pain for their gain. We can avoid that simply by seeing that
we are tapping into Spirit's Power, guiding it, directing it to serve the greater whole, and in this
way touching the Web of Life for the benefit of all. Then when the action brings it's recoil (for all
things come full circle) we're embraced with blessings instead of defeats or suffering.

You're so right, Sharon, it is sad to see the end result of an Ego untamed, but it serves as a
reminder to us all not to take that path. With the current situation you are being faced with,
Spirit is telling you to apply your knowledge and gifts to resolving those issues. We are always
"tested" when we emerge from a period of growth. I'd venture to say that just prior to your onset
of problems here that you had a growth spurt and enhancement to your abilities in some way. It's
testing you to apply that newly gained growth to a mundane area of life. We need to learn that
spiritual gifts are non-restrictive as to the dimension in which they are used or the context. They
work just as well in the physical world as they do in the spiritual realm for we are only needing
to stay centered to merge the two.

If your ex is trying to contact you by having these two pieces of jewelry mysteriously appear
perhaps he is also telling you that he's learned his lesson. All the same you are best off staying
guarded. If he didn't learn that lesson he's going to be a pain in the you know what. So if he
shows up be on your guard and make sure you know why he's around. You may find yourself
blessing his spirit and wishing it well as you send him packing to follow his own path and stay
clear of yours.

Keep trying, keep doing what you're doing, Integrity-Intent-Impeccability...give it your best,
that's all Spirit asks...and you'll get there, you're already in the right place at the right time...for
you! *Smiles*


Wow. What an amazing thread. So much information and recognition! I can't remember who
wrote this, but it was something along the lines of "if you see the Buddha walking toward you,
turn around and run as fast as you can in the other direction"...

Cinnamon, I have a question. It involves someone who was a very close and dear friend before I
moved to Canada. We are still in touch, but only occasionally, mostly through email; I can't say I
consider this person an "active friend", but he has a place in my heart.

Recently, he has made a discovery about how he can "steer" his energy, and he is using it very
undiscerningly and (I believe) unethically. He is using it as a power thing (look what I can do)
and I'm very sad about that. I have been trying to give him some warnings (such as "if you are
learning how to use energy as a tool, then learn to ground, switch on and off, and feel what it
does within yourself FIRST, before using it on others) and he is saying "oh yeah, I know" and
then ignoring that. He has found a "teacher", whom I have met before, and who is very Ego
centered. It creeps me out, and I feel sad that my friend is going down that dark path. I have
stopped trying to guide him back, for I know that this is his path to walk. I also know that he has
a strong attraction to the darker side of life, and I'm not even all that surprised that he's chosen
this path.

I find myself wondering after reading this thread, if there is anything that I can do but sit back
and let it happen? I am already doing that, only answering him if he asks, but he's constantly
wanting me to say "oh wow, I am in awe of you , you are so wonderful... "

I also know that that particular part is a teaching that I am being tested on right now... for I have
to bite my tongue (quite literally, got a sore spot there!) to not jump up and one-up him and tell
him that [my ego talking:] "what the hell does he think he's playing with, who does he think he is
talking to... after all I have x years of experience already in ... [fill in the blank]... and he's just
looking around the corner..." [/ego talking]

So I'm just assuming that I'm onto myself there, and that I've got at least some perspective of
what he's doing and why it involves me...

But yeah... is there *anything* else that I could do to offer him a glimpse of the other path (the
one of light)?


Hi Mouse,
I think you are right to realize this is his path to walk. If he is going down a dark path, he is
probably only reaching out to you to help feed his own ego. You've already said he doesn't listen
to your words, anyway.

If he asks, you could first center yourself. And do whatever method of protection you particularly
use. Then ask Spirit for an answer to give him. Send that, and nothing more.

When you think of him, you might send some light his way. Quite possibly this could help him,
but also his path might catch up with some others who do not realize the path he is walking. ~
In my own experience, after I left my ex I did think of those he came in contact with. I had much
to learn about myself after being with him, and the 'cord' never was broken. (Though it almost is
now, 5 years later). Anyway, apparently he got involved with another woman. His methods of
control never worked with her, but she did feel his energy attacking and pulling on her. She left
the situation, and he killed himself. I have no idea how she is doing, I have never met her. I do
send light her way, though when I think of her.

I'm sure Cinnamon and others can give you better advice. But in my opinion, unless someone is
seriously seeking and asking you would be better off to steer clear. He already has raised your
red flags. You know?


Thanks Sharon... yes, it is sad, and yes, he has raised red flags. Last night I also realized that part
of the letting go has to do with letting Holland go; he is such an intricate part of my last few
years in Holland. I do send him light when I think of him, and I do check my grounding when
communicating with him. Guess I just have a hard time accepting that someone would choose
the dark path, or take working with energy so lightly. Sigh. Anyway, thanks for your words.


Hi Mouse,
My heart goes out to your friend and the path he has chosen for himself. This is clearly an
example of a deviant Ego. It tells me that there are some hard lessons coming down the way and
it won't be a pretty sight to see. From what you've shared I have the image of one who seeks
shortcuts and power and is careless in his arrogance. Power corrupts and you can see that here.
Ethics are important.

Your warnings are falling on deaf ears I'm afraid. This person has tunnel vision, and blinders
on. It's the Ego thinking for him: "I'm the exception to all the rules"; "I am so powerful that
nothing can touch me"; "rules apply to others, not me"; etc. Sad is putting it mildly. Have you
tried talking to his higher self? You may have better luck with that approach. Or you can ask
Spirit to shine a light in that direction and help him see what he's doing, though I would venture
to say Spirit is already watching very closely.

This Teacher that your friend has turned to sounds corrupt and if that's what your friend is
looking for he's not going to hear anything anyone has to say in the physical sense. He'll ignore
all the warnings because this "wise one" is feeding his arrogance and praising the bad behavior
to the point where his Ego is so inflated it may pop. He already has a mainstay support (albeit in
the wrong direction) and his Ego is not going to admit he was wrong to do that. I'm glad you
stopped trying to steer him back, you feel the truth of his path and sad as it may be, he must walk
it for a time. Sometimes all we can do is watch. That's a form of tough love and it can be heartwrenching.
If he wants praise for his bad behavior you can counter it with something like: "I'm impressed
you have these skills but using them in that manner is begging trouble to walk through the door."
Let your words hang in the air and walk away. Make statements based on ethical issues and let
them hang all over the place. "I would *never* do that! Yikes, what a recoil something like that
has! You couldn't duck fast enough to avoid it and it's going to build up a tremendous force.
Excuse me while I get out of here before it arrives."

Yes, it is a lesson in itself in learning to discern who to help and who you must walk away from.
This is not always easy as our hearts tend to go out to everyone we meet that wants to grow.
Friends are hard to turn from but sometimes we have to. It's happened to me many times. Some
people can be helped but the desire must be within them to do that. If you don't see the desire
and can't fuel it then you're wasting your time.

It's hard to stay silent isn't it? Part of this lesson for you is tolerance too. When I was in training
I was taught that there are going to be times like this, times when we meet someone we care for
but cannot share a path with them. We must be tolerant of the lessons they have yet to learn,
especially if we've already achieved that insight. Timing is set for each of us and according to
our needs. We must respect that too, and in that respect part ways from them.
I have also been taught that before you turn away from anyone you should pray on that person
and why they are in your life. Asking Spirit to show you what you are to do about them. Now
prayer can take many forms and you can Dance the Wheel for that answer too gaining 7
perspectives if not more. You can journey and ask to be shown where your path with this person
will lead and if you should intercede.

I know you want to scold him, but he won't embrace your words. He's so convinced he's right
(and his Teacher is encouraging him) that he can't hear the truth. He'll more than likely
experience it though. Ouch. And it's even harder to turn away and walk in your own direction
but sometimes that's all we can do. Have you ever seen an Elder shake their head at some young
pup and walk away with a smile knowing that the pup is about to start yelping as a result of
arrogance? Trust your feelings on this and act accordingly.

All paths are comprised of a balance between the dark and light principles, just as we are, and
it's a matter of self-control where the grey areas fall. Each of us is responsible for our own

Yes, I think there are some things you can do, but ultimately that's going to be Spirit's Will that
they succeed. Definitely pray for this person's enlightenment. Speak to his higher self either
through journey work or in the Dream Lodge. Before you speak make sure you are channeling
Spirit's love and presence. Let that shine on him as a bright light that washes him clean. If this
were me I'd probably tell him I had a lovely gift for him if he wanted it and would open to
receive it. I would indicate that it was a cleansing and aligning gift that would bring him
amazing inner balance if he were interested in it. His higher self would then make that choice
and you might be surprised at his Ego thinking it would empower him even more. It will, but not
like he thinks. *Smiles* Reiki teachings will demonstrate this process to you. Do not do this
without permission though and to get that you must ask Spirit's guidance.

Sometimes, in the mundane sense, you can address things to his Ego and then point out the
pitfalls. You can send him Medicine too...a creature-teacher that would help him see what he's
doing to himself. Perhaps Coyote? Or Hawk? It's a lot of work and you might have to try all
these suggestions or more. If you do that work and it all falls short because he remains blind and
stubbornly arrogant, outside of forcefully binding him there's not much more you can do. I am
leaning in that direction only because of past experiences with this type of person.
Each person has their path to walk and I can tell you that his path already holds these lessons
and more. His path is better equipped to handle him than anyone else is. Spirit has those lessons
arranged and timed to his receptivity already. But you can feed him with the light of Spirit and
saturate his being with it if you want to try.

I'm sorry you have to witness this but perhaps your lesson is to learn that somethings are beyond
our control. There are many things you can "try" to do. The problem is not in your skill but in
seeing that your friend has turned his back on things and it's up to him, in the end, to turn
himself around. This is the battle within each of us and that's also where the answers lay hidden.
He's going to find them in his own time and it may well be the best thing for both of you if you
just walk away. You may want to tell him you can't associate with those who abuse power. If you
can see where things are going do you really need to put yourself through the frustrations?
Sometimes we learn by witnessing things in others. They (like your friend) can hold themselves
up to us like a mirror and we can see what we do *not* want in our life. It hurts to turn away. I
know that. But sometimes it's best. I never turn away from anyone that I don't ask Spirit to help
them. The flip side is that somewhere within you may be the seed to the answer he needs to turn
himself around. If that's the case pray on it and ask Spirit to show you what you need to do or if
you should do anything. I feel that with your post that awareness has already risen to
consciousness anyway.

I will tell you that there is never a path constructed without a turning point (or several of them)
along the way. Never is a path constructed without hope along it. People do change. They do
learn. It's not always easy, but it happens that those on the Dark Path turn to a better one. It's
just that sometimes we need to see that because we can see where someone is going, have
shouted our warning to them, and they look over their shoulder at us with a smile, sometimes we
need to see that's all we can do. You've shouted "watch out!", did he listen? Or does he mock
your warnings?

I can tell you that your inner spirit knows the path you are to walk and those you are to be
involved with. You can meditate and consult the Self too. Something tells me that you've already
done that though and are just needing to validate that what you received in answer is correct.
Please be careful not to be entangled in a very ugly mess.

Thank you Cinn... that was a very thoughtful and helpful post. I will consider those options
carefully, making sure my own Ego is not involved. He never wanted to hear of my own Path,
and part of me wants to "finally" be recognized for that. And that is Ego.
For now I will just sit with the "ouch", and find a place through which I can send light without
Ego. And duh, why hadn't I thought of asking Spirit to send light? For Spirit would surely
happily give me back any Ego that I would be trying to attach to that light?!

Dealing with your own Ego begins with awareness of it. To walk with Spirit in Peace is enough
to keep it under control. To embrace your path for what it is, rather than what power it contains
is to walk in peace and keep it under control. To see yourself as a part of the Whole, part of the
Web of Life allows you to see that the Ego is part of that too...and keep it under control. As you
grow spiritually the Ego becomes humble and it fades (for the most part) to a very controlled
status. You have the awareness, and all the rest of this too. Your integrity is clean, your
intentions are for the higher good, and you're impeccable (doing the best you can). That's all
Spirit asks of us and all it takes to master our Egos.

Speaking of Ego I did a journey last night and I was informed that this is dealt with in the north
of the wheel. Well I don’t want to generalize, that may be in my case.

That makes perfect sense to me, Northernwolf. The North is the home of the heart, of life
experiences, of wisdom earned. It is the place of the give-away (opposite of a selfish ego, eh?)
and if we are giving from our hearts then there is no room for ego in that. The North is home to
the treasures we hold and teaches us to share, to understand cycles and the ending as well as the
beginning of them. If we see these things Ego fades for it has no hold there. The heart takes over
and generously gives of itself and all the individual is. In that our Ego slips back into the

Reminding ourselves that we are human and do have failings will cushion it's attempt to
reemerge from time to time, but the awareness allows us to keep it under control. (most of the

WOW Cinn.- once again you overwhelm me with your wisdom AND your capability to explain
things with such an accuracy. Reading this page things reveal. I´m so glad I made my Internet
work and came back - these past 6 months I´ve been dealing too much with physical matters and
my ego has more or less been taken over. I´ve been obsessed with future plans and ambitions and
until recently forgotten to pray and meditate and so on. I believe I´ve been tested once again.
The important things in my life right now is not economy and marriage problems, when I turn to
my guides for help it will settle in quite easily. The importance now is guidance to my son.
Turning 16, it is time to discuss spiritual matters and teach him how to meditate. A couple of
times we´ve been sitting up half night talking about these matters and though he has spent most
of his life with his father who is a "non-believer" he finds these matters as natural as the chair
he´s sitting in. He questions how things are connected, but not their existence. I sense he is a
very old soul with enormous psychological strength and though a light mind and easy going - it
won’t surprise me if he one day will be guiding me.

Re. EGO - I thought I was beyond that, but no. This time it didn´t just knock on my door, I
actually let it in. And testing obviously goes on and on. The toughest one at this time is patience
I wish the next year will just fly away. How do you know all these things Cinn? I realize you
have a few more years on your back, but doesn´t really have to do with age. You recommend
reading, but I often find that it messes up my mind. I prefer seminars and get together but there is
no network here, neither did I find anything on the internet last night. I´m planning to make a
homepage connecting people here, but I hate obligations - I prefer to just participate actively.
From time to time I find that this point in my life is tougher than any other - as if it is now I´m
measured. Astrologically something quite new is ahead of me in 04/05, but I don´t have a clue
and it´s as if I have to climb a mountain first.

RE: helping someone on the dark path
I´ve broken my neck too many times to do that again. My very "squared" way of seeing it is that
there are 3 kind of people: a few white ones, some black ones and a lot of grey ones. I turn to the
white ones for guidance or discussions, but mostly I´m among the grey ones and try to make
them believe there is more in this world that what you can see and touch, but the black ones I do
my best to avoid and if they try to mess up my life, I simply ignore them. I´ve learned that I do
not have the strength to help them without injuring myself.

RE: feeling greater than others
When you at first realize you have capabilities others don´t have, it´s hard not to feel you are
something "more" or something "special". Some time ago I was guided to go to church Sunday
morning and occasionally the teaching this day was about this subject. I disagreed with the
priest. We are all equal in the eyes of Good, yes, but we´re all special. If you feel greater than
another person, twist it around in your mind and think: "maybe my soul is just older and therefor
has learned something he never had the chance to learn. Maybe we have been brought together
for me to show him something he´s simply too young to know and vise versa". If you are in
some sort of disagreement and you seek compromise and mutual understanding and the other
seek power and control of you, it´s sure hard not to feel "greater". I don´t feel greater, I feel
lucky and praise all those people and spirits who have been around me and guided me to be the
one I am and continuously guide me back on the track. And I do feel sorry for those who choose
a dark path, but I believe they have had chances for choosing otherwise and if they sincerely
want to chance behavior I´m always available.

I´m a very ambitious person who always have plans and projects, but when it comes to it, there is
just one thing I want to be able to say when I die: It mattered I was there. A pretty egoistic thing
to say as we all matter, but my last days here would be going through hell if I felt I had wasted
my time and just been providing myself. When I was a young student, I worked on a nurseryhome
for dying people so I realized very early in life how important it is to feel your life has
been worth living. I fear the death of my mother, she´s been following a dark path for decades.
About 5 years ago I realized my attempt to help was useless and only hurt myself and prayed my
father to take over. Suddenly and most unexpectedly my 40 year old sister got pregnant and mom
turned over and followed another path - I pray it´s a good one and hope she´ll return to the one
she had before I was born.


I wish you well with your son's spiritual education and you are welcome to invite him to join us here.

"Re. EGO - I thought I was beyond that, but no."
We're never beyond it as it is a part of our makeup. It's up to us to keep it under control. As we
grow spiritually it does shrink on its own too. *Soft smile*

"How do you know all these things Cinn? I realize you have a few more years on your back, but
doesn´t really have to do with age."

I have studied many years, and began my path over 50 years ago so while it isn't age it is
experience. I have almost a decade of university studies in the social science arena as well as
world religion and philosophy, and I have several degrees from the School of Hard Knocks atop
all that I've studied with many Medicine People over the years so it all adds up.
Yes, I do recommend reading material. We need to explore many paths and filter the truths along
the way. Many people learn better with hands-on training but it's not always accessible to us
when we need it. Books discuss things and take you to the doorways but you must walk through
that door yourself. You'll hear me saying this forever.

RE: helping someone on the dark path there is no way to *make* anyone believe there is more to
life than the physical reality. People have to discover that themselves and they have to want to
discover it. If that's not there you're wasting energy for nothing. We can't recruit for Spirit, we
can only serve those who seek themselves.


Yeah sure I´ll introduce him to the board next weekend, but he is too very much a teenager. Hard
to get up from the sofa and "how can the adults possibly have some interesting reading". I think
he´s trying to get close to a girl, but do not interfere, and these matters occupies 90% of his brain.
"Make" (people believe) was the wrong term and I´ve become aware that my lack of knowledge
of your language and the deeper meaning of words and terms makes me misunderstood quite
often. I think I´ll buy the updated version of modern American-English (200$). Another place I
said "influence" and "change". I have highly respect of other people so I do not seek control, but
when I meet someone from the past and they tell me that I´ve said or done something which has
caused them to do something good or different which turned out to be good, it makes me happy.
they always turn up when my self-worthy is low - funny.

As you have seen, I share a lot and I do that too when I´m not anonymous. I take a few small
steps to see if the ice is safe and then I start talking like throwing a lot of balls into the air and
leaving it to them whether to catch them and investigate them. I realize that I more and more say
things as if they were facts, well if people think otherwise, I listen and maybe change.
I haven´t been on the "new generation" cause was afraid of having a "bad/wrong" influence.
When it comes to youngsters I don´t feel safe revealing stuff unless I have them close enough to
catch them if needed.

Thanks a lot for your reply as you can see my absence has left me with a lot on my heart. NB:
WOW, My studying is just a birdy-piece compared to that. How did you .... I´d really like to read
your self-biograph. If you don´t get time to write it, I sure hope you leave a lot of stuff for
someone else to write it.


I'm sorry DesertRose, I forgot about your mother-tongue. I apologize to you. I don't mean to
sound critical and was just commenting as it read. I'll try to stay on top of that. I have trouble
with English myself sometimes and often think those who have it as a second or third language
can do better. LOL. I need to check my rule books a lot when I'm writing professionally. LOL
As for your son, he's welcome whenever he wants to visit. We aren't all adults here either.
Moonwolf is young, just getting out of high school and very good at sharing with wisdom and
insight. A good friend for your son to talk to. We have others too now and then and would like to
encourage more. As for those under 18 yrs. it's illegal to "teach" them but not to answer their
questions so we give opinions and try to help all we can. We like parental approval too....pretty
standard. It's a good forum for them.

Your openness is good. It comes from your honesty. Nothing wrong with that! As for an
autobiography...Scoop me off the floor when that happens! No, LOL, it's not something I see as
being needed. I gave a chapter in my book to that and it's about as far as I feel I need to go.
ROFL...thanks for the smile!!! You're sweet but I'm no different than anyone else. We all have
stories we can tell. I like being a bit more discriminating than that though. Ha! Well, I'm off to
bed with a giggle. Be well!


You have a book? Is it already published, or in the works still? I would be very interested in
reading it. I have a copy of SEDD's "The Creator Connection" which I love!
I feel very lucky to have found this website, and all of the wise people here. Though I realize it is
Spirit which led me here, I still can't shake that feeling of 'luck'. Anyway, Cinn, I am feeling very
honored that you share so much of your wisdom and learnings with us. ~~ Since I have been
here, I notice so much more in my daily life about nature and animals. I see the connectedness in
things, and I want to learn more. Thank you for this place.


Hi Sharon,
Yes, I have a book out "A Medicine Woman Speaks" and it's on the fundamentals of NA
spirituality. I think it would help you a lot to understand more and there are exercises in there
that you can easily do. It's available at major book stores and through Amazon.com with some
excerpts on their website. You can go there and get a sampling and see if you would like to get it.
SED's book, "The Creator Connection" is in my library too. It's fantastic! *Smile* We both take
conversational approaches to our writing.

As for Spirit Lodge itself, well thank Spirit for the site. It was told to us to create it to serve as a
teaching forum for those seeking. All thanks go there. The rest of us are just sharing what we
love most. I'm very happy to hear it has touched you in this way though. That's just what it was
meant to do! Yay!!! Do explore the Knowledge Center and Many Voices sections of the site. I'm
doing updates and additions to the articles for the Knowledge Center now and should be posting
them this week or next. Thank you for being a part of our community. As we grow Spirit smiles.

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