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A Journey Through Grief
© Copyright Lotus ~ July 7th, 2004
It is my hope and prayer that as
you read along, you may find comfort and strength to help recapture
hope. The answers are never simple but as you explore and reflect
on the following, may you find the courage to help heal your
spirit enabling you to make your way through whatever darkness
you may face. The way a society responds to death is very often
the same way society tends to respond to other major transitions.
Many people do not have an easy time acknowledging endings and
the dynamics of grief can often leave mourners feeling isolated.
We have very few "active" rituals that are endorsed
allowing us a place to honor and acknowledge our pain and loss.
Rituals can be powerful tools giving us the opportunity to participate
and instead of feeling utterly helpless and passive, we are
able to take some control back.
There is no one who escapes the wound
of mortality for the shadows of suffering make their presence
known to us at some point in time. For those of us who have
journeyed through grieving, we realize mourning is a long arduous
journey. When mourning arrives, the pain is intolerable and
the lights go out. Engulfed in desolation and grief stricken
with many challenges to overcome, it is very easy to neglect
ourselves. Faith often collapses and the foundation of our belief
system is rocked to the core as we enter the land of despair.
Pain, confusion and loss shatter our lives in millions of little
pieces, with no rhyme or reason and sometimes, no purpose. Numbness,
shock and little glimmer of hope leave us wondering if we will
ever awake from this unbearable nightmare. But we can. We all
have the capacity to return to life, to experience joy once
more and to face the world with renewed strength and optimism.
Grief is not an orderly process
it has an agenda of its own. The rhythm of the process differs
for each of us so please do not ever measure your mourning to
that of another. "Creator, whether the path be easy or
difficult, pleasurable or painful help us fear not for the workings
of the mind and spirit are inexorably intertwined.”
Common Myths about Grief Myth - Grief
and mourning are the same experience… The majority of people
tend to use the words grief and mourning synonymously. However
there is an important distinction between them.
Grief - thoughts and feelings that
are experienced within oneself upon the death of someone loved.
They are the internal meaning given to the experience of bereavement.
Mourning - is taking that internal
experience of grief and expressing it outside of oneself. Grief
and mourning are much more than words. Experiencing these thoughts
and feelings is often a movement
through unfamiliar territory embraced by an overwhelming sense
of pain and loss. We need to encourage people to express their
grief outwardly in the presence of loving family and friends.
Myth - There is a predictable and
orderly stage-like progression to the experience of mourning.
Attempts have been made to assume there are "stages of
grief" perhaps to help replace the fear and lack of understanding.
Each person's grief is unique! Just as people drop their robes
in different ways, people’s emotional bleeding created
by a grief wound is distinctly unique. Expecting anything less
would demonstrate a lack of respect for the authenticity of
each person.
Myth - It is best to move away from
grief instead of toward it. The unfortunate reality is that
too often we do not give ourselves permission or receive permission
to mourn. The result, many people grieve in isolation or tend
to run away from their grief. It is only through the process
of moving toward pain that we can eventually move toward healing.
We really never get over our grief, but with time, we become
reconciled to it and learn that pain and grief are a necessary
part of life and living. Sometimes what we understand at our
"head" level is more difficult to resolve at our "heart"
level. Allowing ourselves to grieve in whatever ways needed
can bring gentle comforts. While it’s true, these comforts
may not erase our pain, they can help ease our pain.
Myth - Following the death of a loved
one, the goal is to "get over" your grief … Thinking
or believing that we, as human beings, get over our grief is
ludicrous! For the mourner to assume life will be exactly as
it was is unrealistic. Everyone is changed by the experience
of a death. Reconciliation may be more expressive of what occurs
as we begin working towards integrating the new reality of moving
forward in life without the physical presence of the person
who died. The unfolding is a long process not an event as the
pain changes from being ever-present to acknowledged feelings
of loss. Our sense of loss does not disappear but softens as
the intense pangs of grief ease and hope emerges once again.
Myth - Tears expressing grief are
only a sign of weakness … Unfortunately many people associate
tears of grief with personal inadequacy and weakness. Crying
often helps generate feelings of helplessness. Crying is nature's
way of releasing internal tension in the body and allows the
mourner to communicate a need to be comforted. I think of crying
as a way of releasing pent up feelings.
Myth - Feelings of anger and guilt
are improper and should not be exhibited ... These emotions
are neither right nor wrong, they are simply part of how you
are feeling. They are a normal healthy response to loss. The
amount of strength and ability it takes to survive this intense
pain is a tribute to the human spirit and should help us remember
our spirit is truly invincible.
Why I don't know why this happened,
perhaps I never will. I don't really have to know why I don't
like this! There are no answers to appease or comfort me I am
weary and empty inside. I must learn how to recapture life's
precious existence; so I have decided, what I have to do is
make a choice about my living what I want to do is accept and
go on living. I know the choice is mine as impossible as that
seems right now, I know I can go on. I want to laugh and live
again valuing every moment, not to be destroyed by grief. I
want to cherish every moment like never before knowing life
is tenuous and valuable and death does not wait. So I am choosing
to go on living; making the most of the time I have left; embracing,
cherishing and loving life in a way never before possible.
So many questions enter our minds
when we are thrust into darkness. Why is God/Great Spirit/Allah/Creator/Goddess
[or whatever name feels right to you] deliberately inflicting
suffering on me? Why do bad things happen to good people? What
have I done to deserve this? Why me? These questions can seldom
be answered. Trying to cope with death, or suffering an injustice
or misfortune can influence our quality of life. And when death
knocks on our door, at that very moment, a part of us feels
broken. One day we are happy go lucky and in the blink of an
eye, our whole life falls apart. Our belief that life is orderly
and predictable dies, and we cling to the “Whys.”
But there are no answers. No one can offer us a satisfactory
explanation as to the “WHY.” If we can set aside our
“academic knowledge” and reflect on the possibility
that everything is laid out for us and even though the path
may sometimes be invisible, or blurred, the path remains straight
ahead. This “knowing” brings me comfort creating a
better understanding of Spirit’s unfolding and draws me
closer in a relationship with the Creator. If we can find meaning
in life, we are better able to cope with pain and suffering.
Expressing Your Truth
The pain of losing a loved one whether spouse, child, parent,
sibling or friend can take over our life. Stress becomes a great
influence on our well-being and it is important to look after
our physical, as well as our emotional, mental and spiritual
health. When sorrow comes, no one can take our place in suffering
and it is not unusual to find ourselves encountering the following
… your grief will take
longer than most people think it should your grief will take
more energy than you can imagine your grief will involve continual
changes your grief will make its presence known in your physical,
mental, emotional, and spiritual life. your may find yourself
grieving for many things, symbolic and tangible your grief will
involve a variety of feelings and reactions you may experience
waves or upsurges of grief without warning.
Self-Care
When you are grieving, looking after your physical and emotional
self is extremely important. This is often forgotten when we
are under stress. We may find ourselves weary with little energy.
We may feel hyperactive, agitated, unable to sleep or concentrate,
angry, or sad, all of these things can have a great influence
on our mind, body and spirit. Here are some comforts that do
not necessarily erase our pain but do ease the journey of grief.
Insomnia is common to grieving...go to bed and rise at the same
time each day. This can help you reset your time clock and re-establish
a routine. Use your bedroom for sleeping only and nap elsewhere.
Keep your room temperatures warm rather than hot or cold. Drink
only herbal teas or decaffeinated beverages for at least 5 hours
prior to bedtime. A glass of warm milk can also help induce
sleep.
Music is a magnificent healing tool.
It has amazing power to touch the essence of our spirit, bringing
soothing and a healing comfort to weary souls A hug, a hand
being held, a gentle embrace...the power of touch, calming,
caring, can also be healing. Massages are also very comforting
as are other hands-on therapies. Some form of exercise is also
vital and can often help improve our mood. Being close to nature,
our world is breathtakingly beautiful, even in pain we can marvel
at the beauty of each season, a rainbow being painted across
the skies, sounds and sites that call to us. Give yourself simple
pleasures, a bubble bath, an ice cream cone, a funny movie,
or whatever moves you. Although simple pleasures offer no solutions,
they too provide relief. Express your anger in healthy ways,
if you feel like yelling, do so, want to stomp your feet, go
ahead and if punching a pillow helps, then by all means go for
it. Try keeping a journal nearby and jot down your thoughts
and feelings. Honor your emotions by releasing negative energy.
A more difficult task is finding the courage to express and
live your truth. Talk, talk, and talk some more. A listening
ear, a place to open our hearts and know we will be heard. Find
supportive people who will listen to you. Share your concerns
with your family physician,
it is important to have an honest relationship with your doctor.
Do not be afraid to ask for help.
HOPE Grief is a journey we take from
the person we use to be to the person we become. There is always
room for hope in all of us. By opening ourselves to receive
we begin to find the strength within to rediscover our spirit.
Hope is a journey towards mending our hearts and so every breath
we take is a reminder of the spirit of hope and the gift of
life. To often we are so preoccupied with our loss it can be
difficult to see the blessings around us. The Spirit world is
all around us. Is it too far-fetched to believe that our deceased
loved ones and other Spirit Helpers can be a source of comfort
and strength to us? Having experienced Spirit Companions on
many occasions, I now know quite clearly death is not final
but merely a continuation.
Near restful waters we will meet
again!
Children & Grandparents Grieve
too
"Death...is no more than passing from one room into another.
But there is a difference for me, you know. Because in that
other room I shall be able to see." - Helen Keller How
a Child Deals with Loss Thousands of children are affected by
the loss of a loved one and also by separation and/or divorce.
We all need comfort during painful dark nights, something to
hold on to and as loving parents, we do our best to ensure that
our children's childhood is the happiest time of their life.
Death is a crisis for everyone when it arrives especially for
the children. Unlike adults, they are vulnerable and poorly
equipped to deal with the flood of emotions that accompany grief.
So often it is thought that because children are resilient,
that death is less traumatic for them, this is a myth! If anything,
children are in many ways most affected by a death.
After a death, children may feel
confused, abandoned and above all frightened wandering who is
going to die next especially if they have lost a parent. Children
need to be told of a loss by loved ones in familiar surroundings
in as clear and direct a manner as possible. Although being
honest and specific may sound harsh in the beginning, in the
end it is ultimately kinder. It helps children realize that
death is definite. Making up a story to ease children's grief
will seldom bring comfort and may only bring confusion. When
children ask about death, tell them honestly that death is truly
a mystery that no one really understands. Many experts believe
that children should not be shielded from death. That children
need to know that adults are there to hear their concerns and
fears and to help them sort out their perceptions and feelings
about death. Do not assume that children should always be happy,
help teach them to honor their feelings and to know it is okay
to feel sad and to cry. What children perceive and experience
may be different than the adults
around them. Find a way to help them communicate their thoughts.
Sometimes we feel it is so important to protect our children
from grief but this is a time when the child should be included
in at least some of the preparations. If the child is old enough,
give her/him the opportunity to decide whether or not to attend
the funeral or other rituals. If the child decides not to attend,
please honor your child's decision. Never force a child to do
something that she/he really does not want to do. Perhaps you
can help your child create a special ritual, this is sometimes
helpful as rituals are very suited to children.
Since our greatest task on earth
is preparing our children for the real world, it is important
to try and help prepare our children for loss including divorce
or separation. If we can help our children learn how to cope
with grief while we are still an active presence in their lives,
we can offer them the love, support and guidance they need.
Whatever the situation to which you are called try to respond
with extreme love and care. Take time to talk to your children,
listen to what they say, and hear what they are not saying.
Death of a Child
My work as a spiritual advisor, grief counselor and bereaved
parent allows me the opportunity and privilege of working with
grieving families. Whenever I am with parents who are mourning
the loss of their child, I am always deeply touched by their
journey as they struggle to heal and bring restoration back
into their lives. The parent-child relationship is unlike any
other. It is closer and more involved requiring much time and
energy yet more precious and harder to lose. Parental grief
is particularly intense with the death of a child. Mourning
is complicated and the most long-lasting grief of all. It is
easy to lose hope when we have suffered a crushing blow. What
is not so easy is the belief that things can and will get better
as the intensity of our grief subsides. It seems incomprehensible
that we will ever find comfort and joy again. It is true, life
will never again be the same but we can find happiness once
more and look forward to the future. Throughout the years, it
has become apparent to me when parents are involved with some
or all of the funeral preparations, this can become the catalyst
to help the journey of healing begin. Not only does this bring
a sense of reality and interaction, it can be empowering at
a time when everything else seems out of control. It has taken
me a long time to understand for every task that arrives, we
are given the tools. Be ever ready for unseen miracles, for
they arrive in the most unusual ways.
Some deaths of children are less
recognized by society, deaths of unborn infants by miscarriage
or stillbirth and even the death of a newborn, often are not
considered to be as serious as the loss of an older child. Even
abortions have their toll, whether elective or therapeutic,
they still involve the loss of a child. SIDS is often a major
crisis for a bereaved family with so many unresolved emotions
surfacing. As with other types of bereavement, we need to understand
that each of these losses needs to be acknowledged, validated,
embraced and grieved. Parents need to be encouraged to talk
about their baby’s brief life and death.
Grieving parents have told me that
naming their baby was incredibly important. It brought comfort
and was a reminder of having carried that child. They also felt
as I do, if possible, it is equally valuable to see your baby.
If you feel comfortable hold and embrace your child taking the
time to say goodbye. Asking for a footprint or lock of hair
or even taking pictures may ease your heart although this may
seem gruesome to others. Listen to what your heart tells you
and follow your instincts.
Death of a Grandchild
When a grandchild dies, there is an overwhelming sense of grief
that crashes down on grandparents. It is a sorrow that is compounded
because grandparents grieve twice. The most immediate is of
course the loss of their grandchild. There is a sense of disruption
and unfairness...a natural feeling that the continuity through
generations has been disrupted. This death is a radical rearrangement
as to how life should unfold. The second is the pain of witnessing
their own child grieving. As parents, we were always able to
comfort and ease the pain and hurt our child experienced but
now a bandaid or a kiss will not work. The only way is to accompany
them on this journey of grief. How easy it is to be selective
in our understanding of others. When something terrible happens
to our child, or grandchild, we blame ourselves regardless of
the facts.
Stephen Levine, author of “Who
Dies? An Investigation of Conscious Living and Conscious Dying”
writes that the death of a child is a fire in the mind. His
words ring true in my heart. No other death seems so unnatural
for we expect children to outlive us. Is it any wonder that
this flame cannot be extinguished for many years? In time the
flame will become an ember but until that happens, I encourage
all who read this to be sensitive to the needs of mourners.
Your honest sorrow may help open the door to facilitate their
grief. For those of you wondering how you can help: Be there...don't
worry about finding the right words. Opt for simplicity... I'm
sorry, a hug or a gentle touch. Don't presume that you can provide
an explanation or a quick fix. Bereaved people need to talk
about their loss so offer a compassionate and safe-listening
ear. Don't be afraid to mention the name of the child. Acknowledge
birthdays or death anniversaries with a visit or a card. Since
grief affects people's physical ability, offer to help out in
some way. Rather than say "call if you need something"
[they won't] say "I will call tomorrow to see if you need
anything" [please remember to follow through on that call]
Include grandparents in social events even though they may decline
the first few. Remember that grief changes life, so offer your
support "long term."
Rituals – Powerful & Healing
Rituals provide us with an outlet and offer an opportunity to
recall loved ones providing a focus for our grief. Anniversaries
and special occasions are undoubtedly tough days to get through.
Finding a ritual to honor your loved one brings comfort and
a feeling of “doing” something.
Some suggestions that others have
shared with me:
Make a contribution or have a bursary given in your child’s
name
On their special day, do something thoughtful for another
Have a celebration to honor their life and invite loved ones
and friends to share the memories.
Name a star, plant a tree, flowers
or a shrub in their honor
Have a birthday cake and light a special candle
Start a collection of something they were fond of and add to
it each anniversary.
Create a memory box.
I have a friend who dedicated a bench in the park her daughter
loved to visit.
As you can see there are many options
that can be a reminder of your loved one’s life here on
earth. Grief is unique, just as we are so in choosing a ritual
find something that speaks to your spirit and about the spirit
of your loved one.
This article wouldn't be complete
with including divorce and separation.
Separation/Divorce
An increasing number of children are experiencing the divorce
of their parents or litigation of their custody. Some children
experience the intensive often unconscious or unintended, attempt
of one parent to alienate the child from their other parent.
Children have no choice in the matter of a divorce or death,
nor do they have a choice in the events that follow. This powerlessness
interferes with their confidence and sense of security. Children,
like adults, need to feel they have choice and control in their
lives. Many children assume they, in some way, were responsible
for the loss of their parent. They believe their "bad behavior"
was the reason, or they were so "unlovable" their
parent wouldn't stay. To soothe a child's feelings of guilt,
adults must provide them with straightforward, non-judgmental
information about what is happening. Children do not need to
hear the "gruesome" details.
Gary Neuman says, "When you
criticize your ex, you criticize your child." Gary explains
that it's the conflict between parents, not the actual divorce
that puts children at risk. Many parents don't realize the consequences
of their actions, no matter how big or small. It's important
to emphasize to your child she/he is in no way to blame for
the breakup. Children are very good at keeping their deepest
feelings hidden from their parents. Even in the best divorces,
children feel that they are somehow responsible for the break-up.
Please Remember All litigation concerning children can affect
their healthy growth and development. It is psychologically
harmful to children to be deprived of a healthy relationship
with one parent. With the exception of abuse, there is no good
reason why children should not want to spend some time with
each of their parents. Alienating messages and behavior, whether
intentional or not, places children in a severe loyalty bind,
a position wherein the child believes she/he must chose which
of her/his two parents to "love" more. Having to choose
between parents is unfair and damaging to the child, and, if
the end result is the exclusion of a parent from the child's
life, the injury is irreparable.
Hints for Parents
Let your children know you both will always love them and be
their parents.
Don't be long distance parents. If you must live in another
town, stay in touch with frequent letters, via e-mail or snail
mail and telephone calls.
Make sure your child has your address and telephone number so
they will always have easy access to you.
Show your love in actions, not just words.
Don't make promises you cannot keep. Promises not kept are worse
than not making plans at all.
Don't attempt to substitute your love with money or gifts. Kids
know when they are being bought off.
Remember birthdays, holidays and all other important events.
This indicates to your children that you are there and you care.
It may be difficult to remember these dates in your busy life,
so use a calendar and mark them down.
Don't “ badmouth” your ex-spouse or anyone else in
the family and hold children to this rule. Children will not
love you more if you attempt to make your ex the bad one in
their eyes. This only makes it difficult for them, and at some
point they will more than likely resent you for your attacks.
Children need to feel it is okay to love both parents without
making anyone unhappy.
It's a major red flag when children are afraid to express affection
towards one parent in front of the other.
When you are angry with one another, PLEASE do not take it out
on the children.
"Never" put your children in the middle and do NOT
make children the mediator for you and your spouse.
Trying to obtain information about your ex-spouse's private
life through your children, is completely unacceptable and unfair
to your children.
Don't compete for your children's love. They need and want a
healthy relationship with both parents.
Be understanding and patient.
Children may feel anger, sadness and depressed following a divorce.
Be open and willing to listen to their thoughts and feelings.
"Accept" that this relationship is over and proceed
with your life.
The best thing you can do for yourself and your children is
to move forward, to begin living again.
It’s hard to trust when we have been hurt and it is hard
to hope when we have known tragedy. In order to heal, we must
discover our own passage through the “Gates of Loss”
facing each day with an open
heart. In time our wounded spirits begin to heal but that healing
is never as complete as we would like. As we journey away from
pain, we discover how strong the human spirit is, far stronger
that we could have ever imagined.
COMMUNITY COMMENTS
2CrowWoman:
I buried a grief in
1973, being too young to really understand it. I ended up mourning
in the middle of 2001 after a TV show (Babylon 5 of all things!)
triggered a latch and opened the door. It was a shattering and
yet highly productive few months and during that time I did
something that eventually changed me and others as well. Mourning
can be more productive than anyone realizes. The only problem
is when people become accustomised to mourning and fear letting
it go. I met one person like this from this experience. The
grief and mourning I experienced wasn't for a death so it doesn't
fit your article, but it does fit your definitions. I've been
through a fair share of deaths as well, ranging from health/age
related to accidental and a few murders. In every single case
the experience was utterly different from the others and the
times I mourned and grieved utterly different as well. Still
working on some of them.
Sunflower:
Wonderful
article, Lotus! So much of this resonates with what my family
is still going through. These last 3 months, since my brother
died, have been a tough road for all of us and although the
healing process has begun, there are always more feelings coming
up that weren't expected and the need to deal with them just
becomes overwhelming at times.
StarDreamer:
Thank
you, Lotus! Wonderful article! A comment from a friend yesterday
and your article have me musing on something. My friend observed
that I was very "stoic" about pain and he didn't think
that was necessarily a good thing, because pain was a symptom
that something needed attention and healing. Pain needed to
be felt and expressed for the healing to take place. Ignore
it or put it on the back burner to be dealt with at an "appropriate"
time and you risk the healing. I agreed with him. But my initial
response was, "Yes, I'm stoic by nature." ??? I felt
that was true when I said it, but now I'm wondering if anyone
could be "stoic by nature." I think it's more, "stoic
by nurture." You mentioned rituals in your article. Cultures
down through the ages have included specific rituals for the
passage of a soul to the next world. Rituals not just for the
one who has passed but for those "left behind." This
Western culture in which I have been brought up has none...not
really. Your parent dies, you're given a day or two to "take
care of things" and then you're back at work with a pat
on the shoulder from one or two of the more compassionate folks,
but, otherwise, it's "life goes on, ya know" and that's
that. Perhaps a family may have a religious background in which
grief and mourning are respected with expression in ritual,
but extending that into your day-to-day life is taken as an
intrusion of your beliefs into the "space" of others.
I remember
the years surrounding the deaths of my parents as years of "carrying
on." They passed
within two years of each other. I was a minister's wife, mother
of two small children and it was a time of great turmoil in
our family in many areas. I remember moving through their passing
and funerals as if in a daze. Few tears were shed...I just didn't
have the time...or the energy....or the *space.* One day, about
nine months after the passing of my father it hit me that I
was now "an orphan." I had been an only child. I had
no siblings to lean on or commiserate in our grief and mourning.
I, quite literally, fell apart at that realization. Life opened
up to me with such a painful emptiness I could not express it.
In fact, I lost connection with expression. I would look at
something knowing what it was, but a totally unrelated word
would come out of my mouth. I looked at the coat rack and called
it an umbrella. I looked at my daughter's stuffed dog and called
it a hat. I didn't realize what I was saying...that my thought
and the word were not the "proper" relationship. My
husband freaked. I went into therapy. I was put on medication.
I went through many years of "work" on myself. I was
quickly able to put coat rack with coat rack and stuffed dog
with stuffed dog, but expression of my feelings is only now,
20 years later, actually beginning to take place. I look at
that time now and see that I unconsciously found my own ritual
of grief and mourning. And that it took place in the relationship
of thought to word is very significant to me. *S* Frustrated
writer that I am! I did not allow myself expression of my pain,
or felt I was not allowed it...either way, it was not expressed.
But it needed expression and found its way, ultimately, for
my healing to take place. I see this now in a much larger picture,
as well. Spirit continually moves us to healing, transformation
and creation. It WILL happen...individually and corporately.
The chaos that we go through, the disconnection, the grief,
the pain, MUST be expressed in some way in order for the healing
to come. Finding creative expression for the good of all is
our responsibility, otherwise, it may result in violence, abuse,
war, etc. Ritual allows that creative expression of grief symbolically....coat
racks can be umbrellas and stuffed dogs, hats, for the time
Spirit deems necessary for us to resolve our personal, and corporate,
chaos and move forward to create. Okay, I've rambled. *S* But
those are my thoughts today, FWIW
Lotus:
Sometimes we need to grieve, and it's not because someone died.
It's because we are experiencing a major life-change. Some of
these changes feel as bad as if a loved one died. When our kids
move away from home, we get a divorce, we have a health problem
that changes our way of life, our parents get a divorce, we
lose a job. a pet dies, we have a miscarriage, a friend moves
away . . . these (and other changes) can be biggies for many
people. These are losses and affect us in different ways. I
call these periods "soul work." These experiences
brings lessons and growth. As for "distorted" grief,
yes, sadly it can occur. Some people become immobilized by some
aspect of their grief. It may result from difficult circumstances
related to the death, unresolved loss issues from the past,
or unhealthy dynamics in the relationship. The impact of the
loss on the griever is so overwhelming that they lose their
sense of perspective.
Some cultures facilitate grief much
better than ours does. We don't make time for grief at all—it's
nonexistent. In many cultures, death is seen as a sacred time
of transition , natural rather than a
tragic event. Our society is uncomfortable with grief. We say,
"You'll get over it. You're going to feel better."
What does that really mean? Are we saying, "I'm uncomfortable
with your grief, and I wish you'd stop making me uncomfortable."
Perhaps we in western societies fear death and have difficulty
talking about it. In my work I see many people who are eager
to get over it, some even try to by-pass grieving but it seldom
brings them peace. Life ultimately is about living, knowing
we will one day cross over and to fulfill the tasks which life
constantly sets for each of us. StarDreamer, I honor what you
are feeling and can sense the strength that is sustaining you.
Your courage and willingness to work through your grief has
been like a portrait in progress. I thank you for sharing that
part of yourself with us.
PhoenixRising:
This
board and limit experience with the members and the content
has been profound for me. I am not in a position right this
minute to share fully. This night I began to pray and request
knowledge. I went on from there and later on I began to say
the word grief over and over. I began to observe myself and
some of my behavior. No word would work or fulfill me but saying
out loud grief. I am grieving this is an expression of it. I
was not surprised saying in general I am grieving I have been
on a healing journey for a long time and have some concrete
understanding of grief and the grieving process. This is different.
There is so much I know about grief I want access to today.
I can be open to it today. I believe there are forms of grief
on a social level that manifest itself in ways we do not realize.
I have watched myself and I watched health problems manifest
in society and I knew it was spiritual and reflecting the times
and a attitude and self image that underneath is so negative
that is impacting the spirit in a harmful way. I could not see
the possibility that in addition that grief/grieving might be
a contibuting factor to this health crisis. Forgive me all for
such abstractions. I am just opening up to stuff that has been
blocked to me. I had to say thank you and I had to give voice
to me waking up in ways I have not had the freedom to before
this moment.
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Libraries
are on this row
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INDEX
Page 3
(Main Section, Medicine Wheel, Native Languages &
Nations, Symbology)
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INDEX
Page 5
(Sacred Feminine & Masculine, Stones & Minerals)
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©
Copyright: Cinnamon Moon & River WildFire Moon (Founders.)
2000-date
All rights reserved.
Site
constructed by Dragonfly
Dezignz 1998-date
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