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Is Balance Obtainable or is it an Illusion
By MonSnoLeeDra


On a number of sites I visit there has been much talk of balance and obtainment of it. Balance viewed against masculine versus feminine energy contained within, balance of harmony throughout the body, etc. Yet I can't but wonder is it truly possible to obtain balance or is it but an illusion that one attempts to achieve?

In some ways one might assume that this would be an easy question to answer and concept to identify. Yet, is it truly that simplistic of an answer to obtain? After much pondering upon the subject I must admit I reach the conclusion that it is not a simple question to answer or state to achieve.

From a masculine versus feminine energy perspective I think that much is lost in the modern pursuit of balance of the forces. We assume, perhaps wrongly, that balance means all facets are equally recognized and working in harmony with each other. Yet at times balance is the rising of one trait to dominate or intensity the needs of another trait. For instance, at the age of 17 I was on the volunteer fire department for my home town, we responded to a fire that was located in a cold storage and packing house. Now this fire was observable for miles from the scene and was massive. Upon arrival we noticed the building was near an older home and located in the mouth of a large ravine that ran up into the surrounding mountains. Being one of the first units on the scene we dispersed the firefighters to the hotspots.

I was sent to the back of the building to fight the fire that had started running up the ravine towards the mountains. Crossing over the lower hill, we came down behind the building and the first thing we saw was the siding on the building running like water down and over a propane tank. Liquid fire completely covering the tank and spreading outward towards the ravine, only one thing upon your mind, "What do we do now?"

Common sense says to run and get the heck out of there. If it were to have exploded we would be tossed like rag dolls at best or blown to pieces at worse. A few wanted to run and get out but that was not what we were there for. We moved ahead into the ravine putting aside fear and achieving a different sort of balance. Yet even as we faced the probable danger of explosion we knew that to run meant that the fire would race up the valley and into the mountains then even more would be in danger and consumed in the tempest.

Some would say that was the masculine dominating and balancing the greater whole. It was a visible need and our actions had to be forced outward to confront the obstacles that laid before us. It only took one person overcoming and balancing to bolster the confidence and drive of the others, the unity of the group balancing as we faced our fear and dread.

We fought the fire and stopped the advance up the valley and held the line. For over 24 hours did we fight that fire and experienced more emotions than one could really think about at the time. We knew fear when we saw an unmanned fire hose come flying off the roof of the structure and wondered about the guys that where up there. A fear a mother knows when a child is harmed or in danger. We knew terror when ammonia cans start exploding and shooting into the air or horizontal into our lines. A fear of an opponent you can see but have no control over.

Yet even as I recall the event and the balancing act that went on within it is not the energies and balancing act I recall but the things we did that day. I recall we dropped a lake by 8 feet; we pumped over 250,000 gallons of water into a single room. We ended up at points where we were in mud to our knees and struggling to move forward but we did move. Though in retrospect I know I maintained because throughout the period my feminine energies gave me compassion and allowed me to be reflective of what needed to be done and fear for and concern for my fellow firefighters. My masculine energy allowed me to keep pushing forward and face dangerous that my mind screamed run away from.

One might think that such an undulating, twisting and turning scheme would be indicative of an emergency event but that is also untrue.

As a little league coach I was responsible for instilling a sense of the game, teaching rule of the game, sportsmanship during and after the game. All this to children, both male and female, at a T-ball level and make it fun for all and a learning experience. Where was balance of feminine and masculine energy in this one?

Yet balance I did as I shifted from one facet to the other constantly. One moment pure masculine as you encourage and fulfill the needs of the young male and their masculine energy flow, the next moment shifting to the feminine side of your nature to understand and encourage the girls equally. Changing from one to the other in mid-cycle and never truly having a balance yourself it seems. That occurring on the field in real time as you strive to make it work.

Off the field a constant round of exchanges, shifts from masculine to feminine as first you confront the know it all dad only to shift gears to the worry some mother or even the aggressive mother that wants their child to be the best. Back and forth you go, feeling and comforting to encouraging and demanding. Mothering when injured to motivating when they are down. A psychologist and sociologist all rolled into one on what is supposed to be a fun game field. With just a touch of diplomat and medic thrown in for good measure and testing of your abilities to shift your balancing act.

Yet the constant juggling act continues in your spiritual life. One moment you strive to understand the introspective and reflective feminine energy and presence that touches upon and within you, the next the aggressive outward projecting energy of the masculine. You strive to understand why one moment a thing can bring you to tears or pity yet another raise you to the heights of anger and contempt.

Yet I can only speculate that there is no true point of balance in the inner spiritual and energy of me, this human creature that is composed of both male and female energies. My balance can only be defined against the objective state that I am aware of both facets and accept that I do possess both facets. On one hand I must be both mother and father in my actions and presentation of emotions. I must also realize that my wife must also be both mother and father depending upon the circumstances of each occurrence.

I believe that this is the balancing act we must come to understand and our place upon either side of the scale upon which we operate at any given point in time. I should be balanced enough that I can accept my feminine energies and use them when needed but not be afraid to not use them. Inversely, the same commitment and usage of masculine energies or lack thereof is needed if I am to be balanced to the point I can operate and live within the confines of my world placement.

I do believe that one may abuse one facet at the expense of the other and the whole pays the price for the abuse. Yet, the loss is due to seeking a perceived balance of energies those lessons or makes more important one above the other and presented in the mundane world of daily life and even the spiritual.

It is in this pursuit of "Balance" that I think we actually unbalance ourselves. We, collectively, seek to understand and even the playing ground and in doing so may actually unbalance that which we so strongly seek to balance.

Wynsong:
What struck me immediately was the use of the word versus... I'm going to venture my doubts, that masculine versus feminine can ever be balanced as the word 'versus' for me engenders struggle for dominance...one or the other... However, I do believe that masculine and feminine can live together in balance...AND that that balance would be dynamic in nature, with more masculine sometimes (like say in the day time) and more feminine sometimes (say at night)...and I'm just using the solar and lunar energy as an example. I loved the dance between feminine and masculine within the parenting examples you used. As I mentioned in the other thread....I love the Yin/Yang symbol as a diagram of how masculine and feminine can be merged and flow together and apart as a whole.

MonSnoLeeDra:
Sorry about the confusion on "Versus". For me I used it as a form of comparison and contrast, if I was going to indicate conflict or battle I would use one of those terms. I do agree that the two can be harmonious in union but I do not think they can be equal in presence. In that I mean one will always dominate the other in certain scenarios or situations. I find the equality of the two comes from the ability to accept that that which is best suited will be the one best selected. At times the feminine would be the best choice and be dominate at that point, whereas the masculine maybe the more dominate and best choice in other situations. For me true balance comes when I can move from one to the other and it is a natural change. When the face that comes forward is done with no prompting but a natural response. I think I have achieved balance of the two when I can use either and not be protective because I chose a feminine energy or masculine energy.

SandraBear:
Hi -don't have time to read the whole writings so if I repeat something please forgive... what I have been learning is that it is more a harmonizing than a balancing... say a piece of music that has 2 completely instruments will harmonize to make a melody- easy to hear and see when out of harmony.. but when it's in harmony it works well together- neither dominating the other- but the flute stays a flute and the trumpet a trumpet.. and so it goes!! Harmony.. lal la la !!

CinnamonMoon:
Excellent points raised, MonSnoLeeDra, I would have to agree it's not a fifty-fifty split between the two. The balance we seek is in the understanding of the two and how we, as individuals are in or out of touch with those sides of our nature. To be in touch we have to raise our conscious awareness and seek that understanding, the greater our understanding the greater our sense of balance. You gave great examples of that. Finding balance is initiated by intentionally raising that awareness and many times, especially if we are just coming to these concepts, it's so easy to slip into that 50/50 perception of what balance means overlooking that balance could have another meaning to it. The scale here is flexible/mutable though, it can be weighted at times and equal at others and is usually in motion when the wind blows…or a situation arises as in your examples. Different issues call for one or the other and sometimes both. It is definitely about the awareness of both though. Thank you for pointing that out, it's so easily overlooked or mistaken in definition.

I feel if we understand the manifestation of the feminine and masculine in general we know what to look for in ourselves, and if we understand how each manifests in us individually (we are all a little different there) then we can start to see where balance is present and how we utilize that. If we have an area of weakness we can either strengthen it or compensate for it. My masculine side will manifest far differently from some other women's masculine side, it's still masculine energy I'm working with though and the same would apply to a man learning to work with his feminine energies. I need to understand it from the inside of me out. Do I use it at all times? Definitely not, but it's there if I need to. And you're not likely to use your feminine side at all times either but it's there when it's needed and utilized accordingly. I loved your examples.

We don't need to be equally balanced but both do need to be equally valued for balance to be present. I believe that balance is demonstrated outwardly by the manner in which we walk with both. Once we understand ourselves we can better understand how others are using their masculine or feminine sides too. In this way we learn to work with each other complimenting through our contributions of cooperation…another form of balance as indicated by your group of firefighters. It's a lot like walking between the worlds…our awareness is in balance between the two, and that's not a 50/50 balance at all times either, we are human and dwell in the physical reality, but our awareness keeps us in balance, keeps us tuned in to both. We have an eye and ear and foot in each dimension and can shift our presence with either as called for, a shift that is instant. We can take a woman's perspective here with the example of a mother doing dishes with an ear tuned into the welfare of her children in the other room. She knows when to stop doing dishes and go check on them, she feels it, hears the shift in the voices or senses a shift in the energy and goes to tend things. Just a moment before she was probably involved in the tedium of the dishes and her mind wandering off into her own journeys or seeking answers to something else on her mind…but that ear was tuned to the children and she responded instantly. She kept a

part of her awareness, that masculine protective part, on the children while she used her feminine awareness to journey and stay balanced while observing the dishes she was washing. She could likely be having an overlay vision along spiritual lines or a conversation with one of her Guides…take your pick, her awareness was multi-tasking. Was it all equally balanced, no, it was balanced in harmony with what she was doing though.

Eagle Singing:
Balance is interesting indeed. I too often think that people go askew when defining balance as 50/50 at all times. I agree with all everyone has said, for I see different ways of expressing the same. Awareness of masculine and feminine energies at work within ourselves and as we observe others gives us the opportunity to shift out of our typical reactionary mode and employ what is best called for in a circumstance. For example, growing up and into my adulthood, in most situations where I felt I needed to do address an issue I typically defaulted to expressing and utilizing masculine energy. Obviously, that was not always the best approach. What is better is being aware of what is happening, the reasons why the situation is as it is, looking into the other people's positions/issues and then moving through that situation using the appropriate response. It is fluid, as you've all said in different ways.

WhiteCrow:
I missed this till today. Agree 101% with what you said, MonSnoLeeDra.

Watchituga:
I like emotional balance, to be calm and positive all of the time. I find this results in neither being dependent upon or demanding of others. I find that this usually has positive effect on others, in face to face situations . There seem to be a small proportion of exceptions, where people have got into the habit of persistently attributing their own emotions to other people in some way. It's interesting that this should come up now, because I recently rechecked my "emotional intelligence" score on a standard psychological profiling test, following some experience of lack of emotion and getting pains in the body where emotions should be following psychiatric "treatment" last year. I had forgotten about this test in 2004, when I also was forced to receive such treatment, and on that occasion I had experienced depression following for the only time in my life. Just prior to that in 2004, my score had been 100 percentile but on retesting now it is 99.7 percentile. It is one of the things about mental health services, the individual emotional balances of staff seem to get filtered and selected and collated and attributed to patients instead. So the ones that always look down and depressed seem to contribute to the view that patients are depressed even when the patients don't view themselves as and don't seem to me to be depressed at all. And with me the one that was always panicking over nothing always stated that I was distressed, and that went down on records even though most of the staff and all of the patients held a completely different view from that. The claim that I was distressed was frequently repeated by the same person meetings as a justification for drug treatment, and the increase in pulse rate and other adverse effects from the drugs were also attributed to "distress" even though I didn't personally experience any emotional distress at all, only the extreme physical effects of the drugs.

In reality, I am always in a state of receptivity and reflection and kind of daydreaming to a degree, whatever else I'm doing at the same time, so I'm almost invariably in a calm positive state, although the specifics of what state I'm in may flex and shift depending on what I'm dealing with at the time. So I think from my perspective, balance is probably more about that comfort and positivity and not being reactive or needing to depend on or change others on the outside. I think for me it also relates to being open-minded, and independent minded, and liking to do things my own ways.

Paah Wenchokws:
I have found that balance is not a set of numbers such as 50/50, to make opposites whole and therefore balanced. And if someone has the "need" to incorporate balance as a whole. Then they will always be in flux and not in harmony. Always striving for this elusive "balance" I have found that balance is simply "witnessing".

Druidkat7:
In my recent experiences with striving to understand and harmonize the Divine Masculine within my own Feminine expression, I have come to liken the harmonizing (a good word that someone used to describe the flux!) with the Infinity sign, or "lemniscate" to get technical about the term. I see both energies fluxing and flowing around and around each other, back and forth, ebbing and flowing, rising and falling like my own breath. I see where I am more "masculine" in my directness, my gung-ho attitude, and my tendencies to prefer more actively creative activities over just doing "menial" chores--even when those creative activities involve sitting down and making jewelry, painting or practicing music, or other creative activities that are commonly seen as "feminine." To be honest, I really and truly see the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine mostly as polarities...the whole Yin/Yang thing...everyone's got a bit of each in the other, and neither aspect is "good" or "bad." They just ARE. They're a part of the cosmic flow of things. If allowed to, I believe each of us can learn to flow from one polarity to another with ease. What complicates things is societal expectations that one gender "does this," while the other gender "should do that." Just my two cents...

Wynsong:
I'd add, Kat-7, our own expectations to those that society has placed on us. Societies hold on my expectation aren't nearly as strong as the images of who I think I need/want to be. As I let go of those, I find the flow around the infinity symbol, or the yin yang circle to be a dynamically smoother in nature. For those who have only ever seen the yin yang circle in 2 dimensions, it is actually a sphere. The maximum yin (the largest thickest part of the dark 'comma' has at its edge the beginning of yang. If you do tai chi, the maximum yin is the aspect that meets and just engages the force that

is approaching it, and allows it to flow towards and around it...but the key in tai chi is to always be fully centered...so when you have received as much as you can while centered, the force is deflected away or allowed to flow past you, and the potential for yang, or a push begins (the tail of the white comma)...the flow is around and through the two commas...and then they add the third dimension. After all the time I've done tai chi, I still haven't gone beyond the beginning of trying to live in the three dimensions of the symbol. Yin is the equivalent of what we call feminine energy here...Yang is the masculine, although they don't use those terms. Munay

Druidkat7:
Wynsong wrote: “I'd add, Kat-7, our own expectations to those that society has placed on us. Societies hold on my expectation aren't nearly as strong as the images of who I think I need/want to be. As I let go of those, I find the flow around the infinity symbol, or the yin yang circle to be a dynamically smoother in nature. For those who have only ever seen the yin yang circle in 2 dimensions, it is actually a sphere. The maximum yin (the largest thickest part of the dark 'comma' has at its edge the beginning of yang. If you do tai chi, the maximum yin is the aspect that meets and just engages the force that is approaching it, and allows it to flow towards and around it...but the key in tai chi is to always be fully centered...so when you have received as much as you can while centered, the force is deflected away or allowed to flow past you, and the potential for yang, or a push begins (the tail of the white comma)...the flow is around and through the two commas...and then they add the third dimension. After all the time I've done tai chi, I still haven't gone beyond the beginning of trying to live in the three dimensions of the symbol. Yin is the equivalent of what we call feminine energy here...Yang is the masculine, although they don't use those terms. Munay”

I was particularly drawn to the first part of your reply to my post, Munay, and I think you're right on. To be honest, though, sometimes it can get very confusing--at least for me--when it comes to choosing a mate. I might be going along my usual very bold, brash way and then encounter a man with a certain "fire" behind his eyes that speaks a million things about him to my heart and soul...and suddenly my own boldness goes away and in its place is this crazy shyness that is VERY girly, and to my mind, very uncharacteristic of how I perceive myself to be. My ego just shuts up in the presence of such a man (who is often usually a true LEADER...not just an "alpha male" but a Leader with HEART as well as backbone....and then I'm not sure who, what or how I'm supposed to be. And any exhortation by anyone else to "just be myself" seems so hollow. Because a lot of the time, if I'm just acting like myself, I get viewed as "one of the guys..." or else my energy seems a bit too much for any dude who might take a more-than-friends liking to me. So, perhaps, after all that, I'm just not sure yet what it all really means... Which is why I call myself a Seeker in the first place.

Wynsong:
I'd say from my own experience, that there are aspects of yourself, you don't yet recognize and know how to live, to be certain. When you meet the aspects of you, you know best in an external being, it sounds like other aspects of you, that you maybe label as "girly" show up, and consciously you don't own those parts yet. It is nice that the Universe sends "Real Leaders" in

your direction, so that you can relax your own, and get to know your shadow Self better. I got to meet my 'girly' shadow self in a different way, and I would have preferred the journey I see you being given. Munay

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