Sacred Feminine &
Sacred Masculine

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Men in Balance
By Jade Wah'oo Grigori
February 2, 2003
© 2003 Jade Wah'oo Grigori
Jade Wah'oo Grigori is the 'Caretaker of the Ways', an authentic Shamanic Lineage.
He lives in Sedona, Arizona

(Cinnamon: Thank you Jade for permission to share this with my community.)

Men In Balance
First are we all co-inhabitants of this planet: red, yellow, black or white peoples, and tribal cultures; only then are we distinguished as Man or Woman. References of relationship must begin with knowing whom we are before we can begin to accurately perceive our relationship with others. And this awareness of our point of reference is something that only we, individually, can determine. When we, as Men, adopt the perspectives of another, be it a culture or gender, we lose the autonomy of self-determination. And in order to be effective and harmonious with all beings of this planet, in order to bring value from our lives into the world, we must know where we stand.

Masculine and feminine are two terms that are very often confused with being synonymous with male and female. The masculine principle is commonly held to be that of the out-going, creative, active and motivational expression. Its spiritual nature is aligned with pure Spirit, knowledge and the perceiving function. The masculine principle, in relationship to life, family and community, is one of dedication. The feminine principle is that of introspection, magnetizing, receptivity and nurturing. Spiritually the essence of the feminine is the embodiment of life force. It is intuitive and of the feeling function. The keynote of the feminine expression relative to the sacredness of life force which it caretakers is that of surrender.

We each, Man and Woman alike, have a masculine principle and a feminine principle within our Souls. As Men we are masculine in embodiment. Therefore we, as Men, are comprised of two-thirds masculine and one third feminine, just as Woman is two-thirds feminine and one-third masculine.

When we Men seek to 'run our energy' at an equal balance of masculine and feminine, following the conventional wisdom of our contemporary culture, there is a sacrifice made, to a corresponding degree, of our masculinity. This denial of our own innate and natural balance in order to satisfy the expective demands of the culture results in a severe dysfunction in our lives, individually and culturally, akin to the degree of imbalance that resulted from a previous era's insistence on the subjugation of the feminine principle in a Man's life.

In a masculine-dominant culturally referenced mode of being we Men lost touch with the feeling function, having neither sense of compassion nor respect for life. As we have slowly shifted into a feminine-dominant cultural modality in the last 40 years (at least in the 'conscious community') Men have become reticent to acknowledge their own innate masculine expressions. The consequence of this sacrifice of the masculine, in order to meet the 50/50 masculine/feminine balance of our life force, is that Men, in particular Men involved in the consciousness movement, have now lost touch with a true experience of being male. Specifically, this shows up in a Man's life as an inability to assess a situation, discern the inherent truth in that circumstance, make a choice based upon discernment and commit his life in that choice. Simply put, these Men have become incapable of commitment!

In an attempt to meet the demands to be 'more feeling', rather than integrating the feeling capacity, Men traded in the masculine component of knowledge to make room for feeling. By knowledge I mean 'the knowingness of Spirit revealed'. This trade-off has confused Men by leaving them searching for self-reference in a framework that is not native to Man, i.e. emotional sensitivity in the manner of Woman. By trading-off knowledge for feeling many Men have lost touch with their own spirituality, or even the drive towards spiritual awakening. The model of spiritual growth that has been offered, presented by Women who had come into their own awakening, is through feeling/intuition. This Path is not necessarily one that works for Men. The spiritual quest of many Men in balance requires a path that is active, creative and knowledge oriented. He must know that his dedication in spiritual practices enables him to provide something of value, tangibly, to his family, community and the land. The spiritual offerings of the day, being heavily weighted in the feeling/intuition mode, leave many Men with no place to connect. As a result the attendance at spiritual workshops and events has a noticeable non-presence of Men. A typical proportion is two-thirds Women and one-third Men. This is the exact proportion of feminine/masculine relationship within a Woman!

The Warrior and the Man of Wisdom
There are two archetypal expressions of the masculine that are potently relevant to the rebalancing of Men. One is that of the Warrior, the other the Man of Wisdom. The first, the Warrior, is a precursor to the second, the Man of Wisdom, which is itself the outgrowth of the development of the first.

The Warrior is one who is honor bound to protect that and those which are inherently worthy of honor: Love, life, family and the land. A Warrior will do whatever it takes to protect these ones, even if it means the greatest of personal sacrifices. Do not confuse the Warrior with the Soldier or Mercenary. A Soldier is one who mindlessly follows the orders of a dominator hierarchy. A Mercenary is one who has corralled the talents of the Warrior and sells them off, as a commodity, to the highest bidder. The Soldier may be in the military or the 'Yes Man' of the corporate arena. A Mercenary may be a sniper in a foreign country's employ or a corporate exec who will stop at nothing to attain high position. A Warrior operates with dignity and a reverence for life. The immediate field of operations where a Warrior exerts his attention is within his own Soul. Finding therein beliefs and attitudes, assumptions and prejudices that inhibit the free expression of love and honor for life, his own and that of his family and environs, he sets his commitment to the elimination and transformation of those debilitations. The Warrior's greatest weapon is compassion. One who acts from other than compassionate love, i.e. hatred, vengeance or retribution, is no more than a Soldier/Mercenary, duty bound to defend positions and possessions. A Warrior meets his issues head-on, with courage and faith, and is willing to sacrifice these long-held emotionally invested conflicts for the greater good of himself and his family.

The Man of Wisdom usually awakens within a Man about the age of 52 (as recognized by Earth-based cultures worldwide). The work of the Warrior, earnestly engaged, has brought the Man to a place of self-acceptance. The issues that so acutely drew the attention of the younger Man now have been resolved, or at least forgiven. No longer do the questions of the youth have such preponderance of value as once they did. But neither does a Man of Wisdom dismiss that the younger people still have a right to these questions, and the knowing of their answers, and so endeavors to be of assistance to them, to assess the significance of behaviors, dreams, and choices that may arise in the lives of the Warrior and amongst the People, helping them to find understanding and comfort. The Man of Wisdom reflects upon his life, distills the essence of his experiences and offers something of value back into his community.

It has come time for Men to be willing to claim their dignity as Warriors, and earn their rightful place as Men of Wisdom, amongst the People. Men, go forth, seek a Path that avails dignity of the masculine and honor of the feminine. Find, if you can, the answers to those burning questions and needs of the Man. And when you have found what you are able, turn to the succeeding generations and tell the story of your Journey, your Quest for truth and understanding, that others may benefit from your sacrifices and fulfillments. Go, in blessed courage, go.

Thanks Cinn...this does give some answer and some explanation... but as always I would have wished that it be more complete, more detailed. I know it's not you who wrote it anyhow. But it does raise some more questions. There is something that makes sense to me in this. When approaching men medicine there is something of a giving that needs to be done in order to receive something. I know this is mention also in general but even more so when approaching things from this perspective. Perhaps giving isn't the right word, maybe proving would be better, which leads one to sacrifice something. Probably that is why most of the time I complicate things because to me it's not as simple as just intuition , there is something more. I know this can be said of women medicine as it does occur as well just differently. Like it was mentioned there is a need of understanding the perspective first. It's not enough to just be air for example. It's not I am air and then I draw my conclusions. One must first understand what air is and what can be expected from air to be able to know what air brings. I know you teach a balance way but it's highly tainted with women medicine which is more than normal. But you can understand that when you say you just have to be ( for example ) there is something that doesn't compute there. Not that I can’t make use of that as both approaches are necessary I believe as they both serve their purpose. But yet sometimes I just can’t wrap my brain around something because I looking for that sacrifice in a way that rite that makes it meaningful and just feeling it isn't enough... oh there is also the Virgo self that goes with that. But interesting. It's nice to see something written by a men. Although I love hanging around you fantastic women, it's still a perspective that I miss sometimes.

Northern, I started out just opposite finding the teachings of the grandfather in Toms Brown Jr books. I believe I started with the book "Awakening Spirits". I loved it; but was still searching for something else. Then I found "Medicine Women Speaks" by Cinnamon Moon. In a completely different context "Iron John" (I the author was Bly(?) ) discusses men finding their paths.

You're welcome. I do understand what you mean and if I had the time I'd counter that article with a woman's perspective to compare it to for you. Maybe I'll get to that but not today.

I can share that a special Virgo in my life and I were talking about something the other day and he tossed me another nutshell saying: "It comes from the head. First the head and then the heart." (We were talking about how we think and feel.) My reply was "It comes from the heart, first the heart and then the head". Therein lies Men's and Women's Medicine!...and together we bring in the balance.

Remember in A Medicine Woman Speaks where I was describing the issue of the masculine and feminine energy cycle through unity? In through the male crown chakra down to the base chakra to the woman who takes it in through the base chakra and sends it out through the crown chakra to the man...clockwise to do, counterclockwise to undo...the heart filtering and motivating that flow. Aren't patterns so important? We overlook such simple presentations in life and they are all around us. Hope this helps a little. If you need more clarity let's tear things apart and see how they work!

I wish we had more men here for you Northernwolf, I will call for some and see what happens. In fact we can all call for some...."Spirit, We give thanks for the blessings of Men of Wisdom who will come visit Spirit Lodge and share with us. A’ho!" Get ready to shake some hands. It may be interesting for you to see who shows up now. Who knows, maybe Ambrose will wander through here. He's one to stimulate your thinking, and he will certainly discuss things in depth, perhaps he has some spare time. I promise I won't email him either. Let's just see what happens through simplicity here and maybe you won't feel like such a minority, however....don't forget it only takes one stud to run with the herd. We think you're pretty fantastic too. *Smiles*

Hey, I know this is an old thread, but I like the original post. I think there is a great deal of truth in it! It speaks a lot of what I have been trying to assimilate since I got back from the UAE

Out in the UAE, I was able to see the masculine and feminine working together in the mundane in a way I have never seen it work before: Jaguar and Dolphin, I doubt you can comprehend how valuable my time was with you! Discovery Gardens LOL! Through those interactions and my associations of masculine and feminine in the cities and desert out there, I saw these aspects in myself in a way I hadn't seen them before.

The following are my thoughts: they are said in a positive tone, which may sound as if I am stating a fact, but they are not meant as such, but rather as my point of view, that may or may not be correct!

I think it is very true that it is easy for a man to lose his place in our modern era. I don't know if things have been quite bad in the US as it has been in the UK over the last, say ten years, but the "politically correct" thing here has been a veritable onslaught. Add to this the changing gender roles in our societies which have been very noticeable in Britain over this period and there has been a great deal to try and take in. The current credit crunch may be causing a lot of pain, but already in the UK, the back-lash to political correctness and being told what to do think has begun.

When I was in my 20's I "knew" things. I could make decisions right there and then. I can see the Solider, Mercenary, Warrior aspects in myself over the last 20 or so years: towing the line till I was in my mid-twenties (Soldier) then becoming the Mercenary in my later twenties and then the Warrior in my mid-thirties and then I went to the UAE and everything changed. I woke up. Suddenly everything was different. I couldn't explain it to anyone, but everything had changed. I had changed. I saw through the futility and harm of my attempts to become more "touchy-feely". I was given stark choices out in the UAE and I couldn't respond as easily as I might have back in my twenties. I got caught up in the emotional responses I had been trying to foster within myself over the last ten years in response to the Mercenary and Warrior phases discussed in the initial post in this thread: and in doing so I had forgotten how to respond from my True (masculine) Nature: responses which were required out in the UAE.

The problem with my twenties was, as a Soldier, I got frustrated at times "Knowing" things and having to keep stum. But somehow I knew I had plenty of time to make my way in the world, and I knew my purpose at that time was to learn. As a Mercenary I got myself into a lot of hot water by switching my loyalties, so, by the time I reached my Warrior phase, I felt I needed to change who I was and I fought endless futile battles with myself in an attempt to understand other people's viewpoints, and brought a lot of people to myself who were doing the same. Boy was that a frustrating and fruitless exercise! Somehow as a Warrior I had put protecting others ( i.e. other viewpoints) above protecting me (i.e. my True Nature). I felt my own viewpoint (as experienced as the Mercenary) was not valid. The thing that struck me recently is that it was in my mid-twenties that I came to my Shamanic Path and all my Shamanic teachers and all the people I have interacted with on this path, both on the net and in the mundane, have largely been female. Now, maybe the Warrior exercise was not as fruitless as I perceived it, and maybe I have learnt some positive things from my years trying to see things from a largely feminine perspective: if nothing else how to offset the arrogance and ego that an unchecked male persona can develop (as I had such mirrors in older men in this period), which was an aspect of my mercenary phase, but I can't help wondering whether I went too far down that route and lost touch with who I AM: a man!

I am very aware that, once I reached the soldier phase, people's attitudes towards me changed. Whether it was because the rebelliousness of middle teenage years had subsided (yep, I was a punk/Goth in my teenage years complete with sticky up hair and outlandish black clothing which our distinctly middle-class neighbors were severely disturbed by as one neighbor/family-friend later told me!) or because I had started to take a more responsible attitude, in my late teens and early twenties (my Soldier phase) I seemed to move forward very quickly in many areas. However this brought its own problems as I felt like I could do no wrong, which by the time of my later twenties mercenary phase had developed into a degree of arrogance that started to get me into trouble. So maybe I needed to go so far in the opposite direction in my thirties Warrior phase to counter that imbalance. But all the time my Mercenary was popping it's head up to assert itself: but my Soldier was quietly working away in the Other Worlds, seeking learning to offset the problems the other two were causing me!

From those Warrior experiences, and the Soldiers attempts to learn in the Other Worlds, I would say that the feminine senses the feeling of a thought first and then brings it to logic, whereas the masculine senses the logic of a thought and brings that to feeling. When in balance, I would say that those processes occur simultaneously and we don't notice the normally indiscernible time difference between the two processes. But when we consciously seek to adjust our thought reactions (say for a man to focus too much on feelings) far from gaining in that process, we lose a part of our Self: a part of our True Nature, and the result is that we become indecisive as we stop trusting our logical masculine nature: that masculine nature that just "gets on with it". I have noticed in all my interactions here and at other such sites I have visited that my reaction to certain "feeling-based" posts is different than many of the (usually largely) female members. For a long time I thought that there was something wrong with me for not feeling the same emotional response, and I even posted something along those lines on another site whilst I was out in the UAE. Whilst I was out in the UAE, I was told that we possess two sets of masculine and feminine and I have thought about this a lot since I returned. I wondered if this represented our lower self and Higher Self masculine and feminine and it now appears that this may be what my guidance was speaking of. Our lower self-feminine might be described as an overtly emotional/easily influenced response that reacts to external influences and our lower self-masculine might be an overtly willful response to that external influence. Our Higher Self feminine response might be a positively impacting "Feeling" response that takes the active "Logic" or "Will" of the Higher Self masculine and brings it forth into the world by confirming the response to a thought in our mind. Our lower self-partnership might take a thought we have in response to an event in the world and keep us locked in questioning, whereas our Higher Self partnership moves us forward, bringing "Knowing" down into conscious thought.

If this was the case, then this would explain why I have struggled in recent years to make some big decisions: I was interrupting my "Knowing" (that ability to make decisions in the mundane) by questioning myself in relation to my reactions and those of the people (mainly female!) around me on sites like SL. I assumed my response was wrong: I wonder now if my response was merely a difference between male and female responses to masculine and feminine processes. If the first post is right, my natural response would be 60% masculine, whereas the majority of (female) folks here at SL would be 60% feminine. I am bound to have a different take on things, a more logical take rather than a feeling take: in other words there isn't something wrong with me because I don't "feel" the same response to an emotional post.

But also, in consciously seeking a more feminine response, I had consciously interrupted my True Nature to try and feel that emotional response and had lost touch with the balanced state that allowed both logic and emotion to occur simultaneously. As if to emphasize the point I have noticed that female friends seem unable to make logical decisions that seem obvious to me: a female friend is keeping people in her business who are not productive, despite a severe turndown in turnover, in case her managers feel they are not managing people: this at a time when all business are having to cut overheads to survive: yet she will ring me up in hysterics about her overhead costs and the lack of business. I can't seem to explain to her that given the severe downturn in her industry sector, and the number of redundancies in her sector, her managers would most likely be happier to have their jobs safeguarded (by her making the decisions that will help the business to survive) than manage unproductive staff members!

Out in the UAE, I found that Higher Self and lower self-masculine and feminine in the landscape: the raw untouched desert representing the Higher Self feminine: and the desert transformed by man's will in the cities (conditioned desert) representing the lower self-feminine: the Will to Create of the Higher Self masculine that created the desert seemed to be mirrored (in a way that to me detracted from that original Will) in the phallic nature of the tower-blocks in the city (lower self-masculine will) which, to me, did not compliment the Higher Self feminine of the desert, and was nowhere near as beautiful. In other words when balance of masculine and feminine is achieved, Beauty is the outcome, but when one overpowers the other i.e. when the masculine (ego?) overpowers the feminine there was no room for the feeling that can create a more harmonious whole and when the feminine (timidity or the indecision of emotions?) overpowers the masculine there is no room for the logic that achieves the harmonious whole.

Maybe in the Warrior phase we actively seek out our opposite nature so that we can right the Mercenary phase? The worthy opponent would be our Mercenary nature and those who exhibit those tendencies would show themselves in this phase of our lives to show us our own Mercenary nature? Whilst I can see that perhaps I was too compliant in my Soldier phase, I was very conscious in that phase that I needed to learn how to be a man (particularly as my father had not played a big part in my life). Looking back I would say that I didn't have particularly good role models in my life at that time, as they were largely the directors of companies I worked for in this period: who I realize now were not very well balanced guys. But at that age, it's hard to determine who is or is not a good role model! However, I certainly feel that I was more in touch with my True Nature in my early to mid-twenties than I have ever been since, but It strikes me now that that knowledge only seems to come after we have experienced the battles the Warrior brings!

Well spoken, DragonHawk! Thank you so much for sharing this, you put it very eloquently. I found myself nodding along with a smile, your thoughts shared were very clear. And I can see how you needed the lessons as they came, that's the unique part, you've described the pattern of finding balance between the spiritual side of the masculine and feminine as well as that balance within the physical side of us...the higher and lower natures. How you experienced the pattern was unique to your needs, the experiences that would teach you what you hadn't already learned, and you learned from them as you needed. It does take time...a lifetime to polish ourselves and then it's time to leave with work still undone. *Soft smile* But when we evolve with our spirit in our conscious awareness and walk with it, not just house it, which is what you're doing, things change. What changes may surprise us, inside us, outside, out in the world as we walk it and they change the way they need to. The more times we weave the patterns the more we grow to appreciate them over time but we can sure kick and scream along the way to learning. I'm real good at it. We resist what we need the most sometimes...at least until we learn to embrace, eh? Thank you for sharing the lessons the pattern brought you to...and for sharing the pattern the way you did.

Libraries are on this row
INDEX Page 1
(Divination & Dreams, Guides & Spirit Helpers)
INDEX Page 2
INDEX Page 3
(Main Section, Medicine Wheel, Native Languages & Nations, Symbology)
INDEX Page 4
(Myth & Lore)
INDEX Page 5
(Sacred Feminine & Masculine, Stones & Minerals)
INDEX Page 6
(Spiritual Development)
INDEX Page 7
(Totem Animals)
INDEX Page 8
(Tools & Crafts. Copyrights)

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