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The 36 pages in this Sacred Feminine & Sacred Masculine
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Men in Balance
By Jade Wah'oo Grigori
February 2, 2003
© 2003 Jade
Jade Wah'oo Grigori is the 'Caretaker of the Ways', an authentic
He lives in Sedona, Arizona
(Cinnamon: Thank you Jade for permission
to share this with my community.)
Men In Balance
First are we all co-inhabitants
of this planet: red, yellow, black or white peoples, and tribal
cultures; only then are we distinguished as Man or Woman. References
of relationship must begin with knowing whom we are before we
can begin to accurately perceive our relationship with others.
And this awareness of our point of reference is something that
only we, individually, can determine. When we, as Men, adopt
the perspectives of another, be it a culture or gender, we lose
the autonomy of self-determination. And in order to be effective
and harmonious with all beings of this planet, in order to bring
value from our lives into the world, we must know where we stand.
Masculine and feminine are two terms
that are very often confused with being synonymous with male
and female. The masculine principle is commonly held to be that
of the out-going, creative, active and motivational expression.
Its spiritual nature is aligned with pure Spirit, knowledge
and the perceiving function. The masculine principle, in relationship
to life, family and community, is one of dedication. The feminine
principle is that of introspection, magnetizing, receptivity
and nurturing. Spiritually the essence of the feminine is the
embodiment of life force. It is intuitive and of the feeling
function. The keynote of the feminine expression relative to
the sacredness of life force which it caretakers is that of
We each, Man and Woman alike, have
a masculine principle and a feminine principle within our Souls.
As Men we are masculine in embodiment. Therefore we, as Men,
are comprised of two-thirds masculine and one third feminine,
just as Woman is two-thirds feminine and one-third masculine.
When we Men seek to 'run our energy'
at an equal balance of masculine and feminine, following the
conventional wisdom of our contemporary culture, there is a
sacrifice made, to a corresponding degree, of our masculinity.
This denial of our own innate and natural balance in order to
satisfy the expective demands of the culture results in a severe
dysfunction in our lives, individually and culturally, akin
to the degree of imbalance that resulted from a previous era's
insistence on the subjugation of the feminine principle in a
In a masculine-dominant culturally
referenced mode of being we Men lost touch with the feeling
function, having neither sense of compassion nor respect for
life. As we have slowly shifted into a feminine-dominant cultural
modality in the last 40 years (at least in the 'conscious community')
Men have become reticent to acknowledge their own innate masculine
expressions. The consequence of this sacrifice of the masculine,
in order to meet the 50/50 masculine/feminine balance of our
life force, is that Men, in particular Men involved in the consciousness
movement, have now lost touch
with a true experience of being male. Specifically, this shows
up in a Man's life as an inability to assess a situation, discern
the inherent truth in that circumstance, make a choice based
upon discernment and commit his life in that choice. Simply
put, these Men have become incapable of commitment!
In an attempt to meet the demands
to be 'more feeling', rather than integrating the feeling capacity,
Men traded in the masculine component of knowledge to make room
for feeling. By knowledge I mean 'the knowingness of Spirit
revealed'. This trade-off has confused Men by leaving them searching
for self-reference in a framework that is not native to Man,
i.e. emotional sensitivity in the manner of Woman. By trading-off
knowledge for feeling many Men have lost touch with their own
spirituality, or even the drive towards spiritual awakening.
The model of spiritual growth that has been offered, presented
by Women who had come into their own awakening, is through feeling/intuition.
This Path is not necessarily one that works for Men. The spiritual
quest of many Men in balance requires a path that is active,
creative and knowledge oriented. He must know that his dedication
in spiritual practices enables him to provide something of value,
tangibly, to his family, community and the land. The spiritual
offerings of the day, being heavily weighted in the feeling/intuition
mode, leave many Men with no place to connect. As a result the
attendance at spiritual workshops and events has a noticeable
non-presence of Men. A typical proportion is two-thirds Women
and one-third Men. This is the exact proportion of feminine/masculine
relationship within a Woman!
The Warrior and the Man of Wisdom
There are two archetypal expressions of the masculine that are
potently relevant to the rebalancing of Men. One is that of
the Warrior, the other the Man of Wisdom. The first, the Warrior,
is a precursor to the second, the Man of Wisdom, which is itself
the outgrowth of the development of the first.
The Warrior is one who is honor
bound to protect that and those which are inherently worthy
of honor: Love, life, family and the land. A Warrior will do
whatever it takes to protect these ones, even if it means the
greatest of personal sacrifices. Do not confuse the Warrior
with the Soldier or Mercenary. A Soldier is one who mindlessly
follows the orders of a dominator hierarchy. A Mercenary is
one who has corralled the talents of the Warrior and sells them
off, as a commodity, to the highest bidder. The Soldier may
be in the military or the 'Yes Man' of the corporate arena.
A Mercenary may be a sniper in a foreign country's employ or
a corporate exec who will stop at nothing to attain high position.
A Warrior operates with dignity and a reverence for life. The
immediate field of operations where a Warrior exerts his attention
is within his own Soul. Finding therein beliefs and attitudes,
assumptions and prejudices that inhibit the free expression
of love and honor for life, his own and that of his family and
environs, he sets his commitment to the elimination and transformation
of those debilitations. The Warrior's greatest weapon is compassion.
One who acts from other than compassionate love, i.e. hatred,
vengeance or retribution, is no more than a Soldier/Mercenary,
duty bound to defend positions and possessions. A Warrior meets
his issues head-on, with courage and faith, and is willing to
sacrifice these long-held emotionally invested conflicts for
the greater good of himself and his family.
The Man of Wisdom usually awakens
within a Man about the age of 52 (as recognized by Earth-based
cultures worldwide). The work of the Warrior, earnestly engaged,
has brought the Man to a place of self-acceptance. The issues
that so acutely drew the attention of the younger Man now have
been resolved, or at least forgiven. No longer do the questions
of the youth have such preponderance of value as once they did.
But neither does a Man of Wisdom dismiss that the younger people
still have a right to these questions, and the knowing of their
answers, and so endeavors to be of assistance to them, to assess
the significance of behaviors, dreams, and choices that may
arise in the lives of the Warrior and amongst the People, helping
them to find understanding and comfort. The Man of Wisdom reflects
upon his life, distills the essence of his experiences and offers
something of value back into his community.
It has come time for Men to be willing
to claim their dignity as Warriors, and earn their rightful
place as Men of Wisdom, amongst the People. Men, go forth, seek
a Path that avails dignity of the masculine and honor of the
feminine. Find, if you can, the answers to those burning questions
and needs of the Man. And when you have found what you are able,
turn to the succeeding generations and tell the story of your
Journey, your Quest for truth and understanding, that others
may benefit from your sacrifices and fulfillments. Go, in blessed
does give some answer and some explanation... but as always
I would have wished that it be more complete, more detailed.
I know it's not you who wrote it anyhow. But it does raise some
more questions. There is something that makes sense to me in
this. When approaching men medicine there is something of a
giving that needs to be done in order to receive something.
I know this is mention also in general but even more so when
approaching things from this perspective. Perhaps giving isn't
the right word, maybe proving would be better, which leads one
to sacrifice something. Probably that is why most of the time
I complicate things because to me it's not as simple as just
intuition , there is something more. I know this can be said
of women medicine as it does occur as well just differently.
Like it was mentioned there is a need of understanding the perspective
first. It's not enough to just be air for example. It's not
I am air and then I draw my conclusions. One must first understand
what air is and what can be expected from air to be able to
know what air brings. I know you teach a balance way but it's
highly tainted with women medicine which is more than normal.
But you can understand that when you say you just have to be
( for example ) there is something that doesn't compute there.
Not that I cant make use of that as both approaches are
necessary I believe as they both serve their purpose. But yet
sometimes I just cant wrap my brain around something because
I looking for that sacrifice in a way that rite that makes it
meaningful and just feeling it isn't enough... oh there is also
the Virgo self that goes with that. But interesting. It's nice
to see something written by a men. Although I love hanging around
you fantastic women, it's still a perspective that I miss sometimes.
I started out just opposite finding the teachings of the grandfather
in Toms Brown Jr books. I believe I started with the book "Awakening
Spirits". I loved it; but was still searching for something
else. Then I found "Medicine Women Speaks" by Cinnamon
Moon. In a completely different context "Iron John"
(I the author was Bly(?) ) discusses men finding their paths.
You're welcome. I do understand what
you mean and if I had the time I'd counter that article with
a woman's perspective to compare it to for you. Maybe I'll get
to that but not today.
I can share that a special Virgo in
my life and I were talking about something the other day and
he tossed me another nutshell saying: "It comes from the
head. First the head and then the heart." (We were talking
about how we think and feel.) My reply was "It comes from
the heart, first the heart and then the head". Therein
lies Men's and Women's Medicine!...and together we bring in
Remember in A Medicine Woman Speaks
where I was describing the issue of the masculine and feminine
energy cycle through unity? In through the male crown chakra
down to the base chakra to the woman who takes it in through
the base chakra and sends it out through the crown chakra to
the man...clockwise to do, counterclockwise to undo...the heart
filtering and motivating that flow. Aren't patterns so important?
We overlook such simple presentations in life and they are all
around us. Hope this helps a little. If you need more clarity
let's tear things apart and see how they work!
I wish we had more men here for you
Northernwolf, I will call for some and see what happens. In
fact we can all call for some...."Spirit, We give thanks
for the blessings of Men of Wisdom who will come visit Spirit
Lodge and share with us. Aho!" Get ready to shake
some hands. It may be interesting for you to see who shows up
now. Who knows, maybe Ambrose will wander through here. He's
one to stimulate your thinking, and he will certainly discuss
things in depth, perhaps he has some spare time. I promise I
won't email him either. Let's just see what happens through
simplicity here and maybe you won't feel like such a minority,
however....don't forget it only takes one stud to run with the
herd. We think you're pretty fantastic too. *Smiles*
I know this is an old thread, but I like the original post.
I think there is a great deal of truth in it! It speaks a lot
of what I have been trying to assimilate since I got back from
the UAE, I was able to see the masculine and feminine working
together in the mundane in a way I have never seen it work before:
Jaguar and Dolphin, I doubt you can comprehend how valuable
my time was with you! Discovery Gardens LOL! Through those interactions
and my associations of masculine and feminine in the cities
and desert out there, I saw these aspects in myself in a way
I hadn't seen them before.
are my thoughts: they are said in a positive tone, which may
sound as if I am stating a fact, but they are not meant as such,
but rather as my point of view, that may or may not be correct!
it is very true that it is easy for a man to lose his place
in our modern era. I don't know if things have been quite bad
in the US as it has been in the UK over the last, say ten years,
but the "politically correct" thing here has been
a veritable onslaught. Add to this the changing gender roles
in our societies which have been very noticeable in Britain
over this period and there has been a great deal to try and
take in. The current credit crunch may be causing a lot of pain,
but already in the UK, the back-lash to political correctness
and being told what to do think has begun.
was in my 20's I "knew" things. I could make decisions
right there and then. I can see the Solider, Mercenary, Warrior
aspects in myself over the last 20 or so years: towing the line
till I was in my mid-twenties (Soldier) then becoming the Mercenary
in my later twenties and then the Warrior in my mid-thirties
and then I went to the UAE and everything changed. I woke up.
Suddenly everything was different. I couldn't explain it to
anyone, but everything had changed. I had changed. I saw through
the futility and harm of my attempts to become more "touchy-feely".
I was given stark choices out in the UAE and I couldn't respond
as easily as I might have back in my twenties. I got caught
up in the emotional responses I had been trying to foster within
myself over the last ten years in response to the Mercenary
and Warrior phases discussed in the initial post in this thread:
and in doing so I had forgotten how to respond from my True
(masculine) Nature: responses which were required out in the
with my twenties was, as a Soldier, I got frustrated at times
"Knowing" things and having to keep stum. But somehow
I knew I had plenty of time to make my way in the world, and
I knew my purpose at that time was to learn. As a Mercenary
I got myself into a lot of hot water by switching my loyalties,
so, by the time I reached my Warrior phase, I felt I needed
to change who I was and I fought endless futile battles with
myself in an attempt to understand other people's viewpoints,
and brought a lot of people to myself who were doing the same.
Boy was that a frustrating and fruitless exercise! Somehow as
a Warrior I had put protecting others ( i.e. other viewpoints)
above protecting me (i.e. my True Nature). I felt my own viewpoint
(as experienced as the Mercenary) was not valid. The thing that
struck me recently is that it was in my mid-twenties that I
came to my Shamanic Path and all my Shamanic teachers and all
the people I have interacted with on this path, both on the
net and in the mundane, have largely been female. Now, maybe
the Warrior exercise was not as fruitless as I perceived it,
and maybe I have learnt some positive things from my years trying
to see things from a largely feminine perspective: if nothing
else how to offset the arrogance and ego that an unchecked male
persona can develop (as I had such mirrors in older men in this
period), which was an aspect of my mercenary phase, but I can't
help wondering whether I went too far down that route and lost
touch with who I AM: a man!
I am very
aware that, once I reached the soldier phase, people's attitudes
towards me changed. Whether it was because the rebelliousness
of middle teenage years had subsided (yep, I was a punk/Goth
in my teenage years complete with sticky up hair and outlandish
black clothing which our distinctly middle-class neighbors were
severely disturbed by as one neighbor/family-friend later told
me!) or because I had started to take a more responsible attitude,
in my late teens and early twenties (my Soldier phase) I seemed
to move forward very quickly in many areas. However this brought
its own problems as I felt like I could do no wrong, which by
the time of my later twenties mercenary phase had developed
into a degree of arrogance that started to get me into trouble.
So maybe I needed to go so far in the opposite direction in
my thirties Warrior phase to counter that imbalance. But all
the time my Mercenary was popping it's head up to assert itself:
but my Soldier was quietly working away in the Other Worlds,
seeking learning to offset the problems the other two were causing
Warrior experiences, and the Soldiers attempts to learn in the
Other Worlds, I would say that the feminine senses the feeling
of a thought first and then brings it to logic, whereas the
masculine senses the logic of a thought and brings that to feeling.
When in balance, I would say that those processes occur simultaneously
and we don't notice the normally indiscernible time difference
between the two processes. But when we consciously seek to adjust
our thought reactions (say for a man to focus too much on feelings)
far from gaining in that process, we lose a part of our Self:
a part of our True Nature, and the result is that we become
indecisive as we stop trusting our logical masculine nature:
that masculine nature that just "gets on with it".
I have noticed in all my interactions here and at other such
sites I have visited that my reaction to certain "feeling-based"
posts is different than many of the (usually largely) female
members. For a long time I thought that there was something
wrong with me for not feeling the same emotional response, and
I even posted something along those lines on another site whilst
I was out in the UAE. Whilst I was out in the UAE, I was told
that we possess two sets of masculine and feminine and I have
thought about this a lot since I returned. I wondered if this
represented our lower self and Higher Self masculine and feminine
and it now appears that this may be what my guidance was speaking
of. Our lower self-feminine might be described as an overtly
emotional/easily influenced response that reacts to external
influences and our lower self-masculine might be an overtly
willful response to that external influence. Our Higher Self
feminine response might be a positively impacting "Feeling"
response that takes the active "Logic" or "Will"
of the Higher Self masculine and brings it forth into the world
by confirming the response to a thought in our mind. Our lower
self-partnership might take a thought we have in response to
an event in the world and keep us locked in questioning, whereas
our Higher Self partnership moves us forward, bringing "Knowing"
down into conscious thought.
was the case, then this would explain why I have struggled in
recent years to make some big decisions: I was interrupting
my "Knowing" (that ability to make decisions in the
mundane) by questioning myself in relation to my reactions and
those of the people (mainly female!) around me on sites like
SL. I assumed my response was wrong: I wonder now if my response
was merely a difference between male and female responses to
masculine and feminine processes. If the first post is right,
my natural response would be 60% masculine, whereas the majority
of (female) folks here at SL would be 60% feminine. I am bound
to have a different take on things, a more logical take rather
than a feeling take: in other words there isn't something wrong
with me because I don't "feel" the same response to
an emotional post.
in consciously seeking a more feminine response, I had consciously
interrupted my True Nature to try and feel that emotional response
and had lost touch with the balanced state that allowed both
logic and emotion to occur simultaneously. As if to emphasize
the point I have noticed that female friends seem unable to
make logical decisions that seem obvious to me: a female friend
is keeping people in her business who are not productive, despite
a severe turndown in turnover, in case her managers feel they
are not managing people: this at a time when all business are
having to cut overheads to survive: yet she will ring me up
in hysterics about her overhead costs and the lack of business.
I can't seem to explain to her that given the severe downturn
in her industry sector, and the number of redundancies in her
sector, her managers would most likely be happier to have their
jobs safeguarded (by her making the decisions that will help
the business to survive) than manage unproductive staff members!
the UAE, I found that Higher Self and lower self-masculine and
feminine in the landscape: the raw untouched desert representing
the Higher Self feminine: and the desert transformed by man's
will in the cities (conditioned desert) representing the lower
self-feminine: the Will to Create of the Higher Self masculine
that created the desert seemed to be mirrored (in a way that
to me detracted from that original Will) in the phallic nature
of the tower-blocks in the city (lower self-masculine will)
which, to me, did not compliment the Higher Self feminine of
the desert, and was nowhere near as beautiful. In other words
when balance of masculine and feminine is achieved, Beauty is
the outcome, but when one overpowers the other i.e. when the
masculine (ego?) overpowers the feminine there was no room for
the feeling that can create a more harmonious whole and when
the feminine (timidity or the indecision of emotions?) overpowers
the masculine there is no room for the logic that achieves the
in the Warrior phase we actively seek out our opposite nature
so that we can right the Mercenary phase? The worthy opponent
would be our Mercenary nature and those who exhibit those tendencies
would show themselves in this phase of our lives to show us
our own Mercenary nature? Whilst I can see that perhaps I was
too compliant in my Soldier phase, I was very conscious in that
phase that I needed to learn how to be a man (particularly as
my father had not played a big part in my life). Looking back
I would say that I didn't have particularly good role models
in my life at that time, as they were largely the directors
of companies I worked for in this period: who I realize now
were not very well balanced guys. But at that age, it's hard
to determine who is or is not a good role model! However, I
certainly feel that I was more in touch with my True Nature
in my early to mid-twenties than I have ever been since, but
It strikes me now that that knowledge only seems to come after
we have experienced the battles the Warrior brings!
Well spoken, DragonHawk!
Thank you so much for sharing this, you put it very eloquently.
I found myself nodding along with a smile, your thoughts shared
were very clear. And I can see how you needed the lessons as
they came, that's the unique part, you've described the pattern
of finding balance between the spiritual side of the masculine
and feminine as well as that balance within the physical side
of us...the higher and lower natures. How you experienced the
pattern was unique to your needs, the experiences that would
teach you what you hadn't already learned, and you learned from
them as you needed. It does take time...a lifetime to polish
ourselves and then it's time to leave with work still undone.
*Soft smile* But when we evolve with our spirit in our conscious
awareness and walk with it, not just house it, which is what
you're doing, things change. What changes may surprise us, inside
us, outside, out in the world as we walk it and they change
the way they need to. The more times we weave the patterns the
more we grow to appreciate them over time but we can sure kick
and scream along the way to learning. I'm real good at it. We
resist what we need the most sometimes...at least until we learn
to embrace, eh? Thank you for sharing the lessons the pattern
brought you to...and for sharing the pattern the way you did.
Copyright: Cinnamon Moon & River WildFire Moon (Founders.)
All rights reserved.
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