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SPIRIT
LODGE
LIBRARY
Sacred
Feminine &
Sacred Masculine
Page
36
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(Main
Links of the site are right at the bottom of the page)
The 36 pages in this Sacred Feminine & Sacred Masculine
section are below.
Woman, Depression
& Anger
(The main post and some comments have been removed
by the author. We hope it can still be followed OK)
Earthwalker:
Between
the conflicts in the world, the debates going on regarding changes
in the government and the drama being played out at SL, I have
for the most part chosen to just stay within. Still, I believe
there is a middle way which can eliminate most of the anger
and frustration that may arise from differing points of view.
I have found that it is important to express an opinion but
to also step out of myself and try to see where the other person
is coming from. The Medicine Wheel is a great tool when doing
this. Except for times when I have authority to decide an outcome
or how to proceed, this middle ground approach works well for
me. I believe that when I am personally impacted by someone
imposing a decision on me that I disagree with, that is then
the appropriate the time for the warrior to come out and fight.
Personally, I
think it important to realize that changes, in larger cultural
issues, take time, discussion and contemplation before they
occurs. One can seed and follow through by action in your personal
life to show or lead by example but for the most part in these
situations no one is the sole person responsible for change.
I also feel that the groups often end up having hidden agendas
so I tend to make my opinion known, stand back, watch and try
re-evaluate things from as objective point of view as possible
.
I do find that
if other people are honored and spoken to in respectful manner
rather than in anger then they typically are willing to try
and see where you are coming from. Still it is important that
their right to make their own decision is respected just as
I am requesting. The difficulty
arises when personal desire and expected outcome are met with
resistance. Yet, the resulting frustrations can be minimized
by letting go of an expected outcome and acknowledging that
I can't change the world only that which I am responsible for.
When I let go of an expected outcome, I have found two possible
extremes. A new outcome may grow from this place of mutual respect
and it may grow to even a better place than I thought possible
since the input of many is often better than the input of one.
The other is that my opinion is rejected. In either case, I
can stand self-respect (I have offered a perspective), haven't
just given in and I recognize I have the choice of self-determination.
Still I find that
if I stand in respect for myself and others, respect is returned
and who know where that might lead. The future is ours to create.
I personally won't accept depression or anger albeit frustration
still moves the wheel.
CinnamonMoon:
I don't think that Earthwalker
is off topic at all. In reading and re-reading her comments
I continue to see she's shared a means of honoring the Self
and personal views while honoring those of others so depression
and anger are not a factor. It can be released when we apply
these techniques. It may be that you would want to use other
semantics but the gist of what she's saying is how to step into
that neutral state that allows a sense of balance to come forward
with the energy we're holding. It does not harbor negative energy
of depression or anger. We can look at an issue or situation
that triggers our emotions and we can let those emotions lead
us into depression feeling rejected or we can get angry and
want to change things. At the same time we can step back from
that knee-jerk reaction to pounce or dive deep into the Shadow
side of things and choose another course. Reason, logic, respectfully
honoring the other side of things we can work through differences
and come to a mutually satisfactory resolution. It's choice
and balance again. *Soft smile* Through Earthwalker's choice
to not allow depression and anger to reside with her she holds
a neutral position and can work with issues or situations that
arise peacefully and gracefully. IMHO she's very much on topic,
she's presenting a means of transmuting a negative into a positive
or the contrary means of dealing with things into honed skills
that produce positive results.
CinnamonMoon:
“I still don't see
how it connects to the book, to be honest. And I don't see anger
as negative. It's like fear, desire, hate or love - a natural
instinctive emotion that serves a purpose. I do agree that knee-jerk
reactions aren't useful, but surely it's more important to work
out why there was such an instinctive reaction before you can
deal with it? I prefer to know why I'm labeling something before
I label it.”
I believe working it through before
taking action or diving into the emotion with knee-jerking reactions
is what Earthwalker was in essence saying. Of course we're going
to feel the impact of an emotion, that's very natural. But feeding
it when it's negative or jumping down the proverbial rabbit
hole is a choice. If we don't see it happening at first we do
have the choice at the point of recognition to do something
positive about it. At least that's how I see it. If we dwell
on the negative that's what we'll see or find, if we focus on
the positive we'll see and find it. I try to look for the light
in everyone and all situation, at least to the best of my ability.
If it's being swallowed by darkness I'll dig around and look
for a spare flashlight. Dead batteries? Then it's a run to the
store....entering the Silence with Spirit to find my answers.
(Edit: Glad you got it, we must have posted at the same time.)
MonSnoLeeDra:
Let
me preface this with I used to hate these type books in my psychology
and Sociology classes.
When
I read these type things the first thing that always jumps to
my mind is it is another of many books that support and in some
cases defends the victim mindset. It's not even a notion that
is aimed at just one sex either but both depending upon which
author one elects to read. Of course if it is to be the fault
of men then it's aimed at women. If it is to be the fault of
women it's aimed at men. It if is to allow or place blame on
everyone else then its aimed at both. It seems that many still
follow the same old tired routine, if it happens it's not your
fault. It's the fault of men, the fault of society, the fault
of your mothers, your father's, it's the fault of everyone but
you. Granted there are up sides and down sides to any issue
that delves into the notion of social structure and order. Some
things that impede growth and some that support it are to be
found in all levels across the scope of the system.
Fissure's
that originate in our collective pasts that run into the present
though more and more attention and effort is being applied to
many to close it off and remove the ancient influence. It's
funny I hear "If you’re a woman, you’re not supposed
to display anger" and it's used as a legitimate reason
for them to have issues. Yet if it is a man that displays emotions
then it's against the system. Sorry but it does not cut it.
The earliest issues I had originated from my mother, issues
that you have to be strong, you have to take care of women and
treat them like ladies. Similar issues my sisters would encounter
that originated back in the earliest days of our lives. Some
blame it upon a male dominated society yet more often than not
the women dictated the life and expectations of her offspring
in the early stages and set the stage for what would follow.
Yes
there were social restrictions and expectations to be found.
Even racial barriers to be encountered and manipulated based
upon ones year of birth and locale. Yet those changes and charges
almost different for each generation and many times coupled
to advances in technology and warfare. That didn't even touch
upon social changes and upheavals that impacted across the board.
The excerpts of this book I have read seem to support that notion
yet once again, enable the victim mindset.
Earthwalker:
Crow,
I think the example of the wolf is important and it is about
drawing boundaries. The boundaries, once drawn and stated, do
eliminate harbor annoyances which can turn into deep seated
anger and depression. However, humans are also capable of reason
and our roles and responsibilities within the human community
are more complex than the alpha and beta roles of a wolf pack.
To me the answer
is really just about being oneself (the wolf). It's about making
a decision (the wolf attacked) and taking responsibly for one
self and for any personal actions taken (she may no longer be
able to mate). As a human, we could question is that what I
really want forever or could I change my first inkling to react
and instead find a better way of saying no while keeping options
open.
I find that when
I step back from the knee jerk reaction, I can typically make
better decisions. I personally think it's important to recognize
and taken into consideration that all individuals involved each
filter anything said or any action taken through our own cultural
and experiential filters / personal stories. As an example,
when I was younger and in collage, a group of us would go out
dancing. Obviously, we are not always attracted to everyone.
So what do you do when someone asks you to dance that you don't
find attractive? I always made the choice to dance at least
once with everyone that asked me to dance. I reasoned, how would
I feel if I got the courage up to ask someone to dance and they
said no? I further reasoned that it often took a lot for an
individual to ask a person to dance and I wouldn't want to miss
out on potential friendships. Most often I didn't dance with
the person a second time since we had nothing in common. Still
I felt we were both better off. (As a wolf, I said no but not
by disrespecting and humiliating the other wolf)
If we care enough
about the other people or the situation, I feel tempering our
response to yield a positive response can be beneficial, even
if at times we need to agree to disagree. I try to look at another's
response to a question through their perspective before responding.
This doesn't mean we all don't go off the deep end at times
and /or offend without intent (stress from other situations
and lack of knowledge about cultures can be typical causes of
problems). To stay in balance, I find I need to forgive myself
and / or others for these types of responses as well. WHO is
benefitted by long standing anger. Take action instead.
In other threads,
discussion has taken place about the anger stemming from a male
dominated society. I can only say that I believe we are changing
and a lot has changed at least in the US. When confronted with
this type of anger, I don't stand in the anger but ask what
action can I take to resolve the immediate situation. As an
example, when I was filling out forms (34 years ago) to enter
the hospital for my first child I too was asked for my husband's
information only. Admittedly I was surprised. Annoyance was
removed by a simple discussion and laughter. I remember questioning
if they didn't want my information as well since I was the one
having the child and that my insurance carrier was the primary
carrier. After thinking about it, the administrate clerk stated
good points and they simply added my information to the form.
This simple question resolved my frustration. Three years later
when filling out forms for my son's birth I wondered, the forms
had been changed.
I lived in NYC
when the feminist movement just started. In theory, I support
equal rights but never felt I had to be something I wasn't.
I never agreed that disrespect of male counter parts was the
path to liberation. I simply was myself and did a really good
job. I never felt I had to dress as a male etc. Another example
of action as opposed to anger was when my father felt I needed
to have an education degree whereas I wanted to go into research.
I just got both mnor. education and chemistry (after all he
was paying for part of my degree and was only trying to protect
me). I then went into research. There are many examples of actions
taken to resolve the anger of situations. I have always found
that just standing in respect for oneself, attempting to understand
where others are coming from , and making a decision that respects
everyone is best, avoid and overreaction response. Be yourself,
fight for yourself and let the situation acted upon to evolve
over time. This eliminates the depression and anger associated
with larger issue that one person cannot change.
Admittedly, this
path is natural for me and I sometimes would love to have personal
characteristics that are more spontaneous in nature. If however,
I can recognize that I often need the counterbalance from someone
different that myself, I can also achieve balance and remove
anger. In other words stand in respect for others way and again
the way for action is cleared and anger is dissipated. We are
the wolf but we can choose our way as well.
I often find myself
frustrated. There are big global issues out there. I question
internally how will they be handled when we can't resolve even
the small ones? Still I recognize that sometimes the small issues
are the only one we are capable of dealing with so they are
chosen as a priority. Balance is therein found, and anger and
depression is dissipated.
Still, for simplicity;
the life of a wolf seems?
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Libraries
are on this row
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INDEX
Page 3
(Main Section, Medicine Wheel, Native Languages &
Nations, Symbology)
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INDEX
Page 5
(Sacred Feminine & Masculine, Stones & Minerals)
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©
Copyright: Cinnamon Moon & River WildFire Moon (Founders.)
2000-date
All rights reserved.
Site
constructed by Dragonfly
Dezignz 1998-date
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