Sacred Feminine &
Sacred Masculine

Page 36

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Woman, Depression & Anger
(The main post and some comments have been removed by the author. We hope it can still be followed OK)

Between the conflicts in the world, the debates going on regarding changes in the government and the drama being played out at SL, I have for the most part chosen to just stay within. Still, I believe there is a middle way which can eliminate most of the anger and frustration that may arise from differing points of view. I have found that it is important to express an opinion but to also step out of myself and try to see where the other person is coming from. The Medicine Wheel is a great tool when doing this. Except for times when I have authority to decide an outcome or how to proceed, this middle ground approach works well for me. I believe that when I am personally impacted by someone imposing a decision on me that I disagree with, that is then the appropriate the time for the warrior to come out and fight.

Personally, I think it important to realize that changes, in larger cultural issues, take time, discussion and contemplation before they occurs. One can seed and follow through by action in your personal life to show or lead by example but for the most part in these situations no one is the sole person responsible for change. I also feel that the groups often end up having hidden agendas so I tend to make my opinion known, stand back, watch and try re-evaluate things from as objective point of view as possible .

I do find that if other people are honored and spoken to in respectful manner rather than in anger then they typically are willing to try and see where you are coming from. Still it is important that their right to make their own decision is respected just as I am requesting. The difficulty arises when personal desire and expected outcome are met with resistance. Yet, the resulting frustrations can be minimized by letting go of an expected outcome and acknowledging that I can't change the world only that which I am responsible for. When I let go of an expected outcome, I have found two possible extremes. A new outcome may grow from this place of mutual respect and it may grow to even a better place than I thought possible since the input of many is often better than the input of one. The other is that my opinion is rejected. In either case, I can stand self-respect (I have offered a perspective), haven't just given in and I recognize I have the choice of self-determination.

Still I find that if I stand in respect for myself and others, respect is returned and who know where that might lead. The future is ours to create. I personally won't accept depression or anger albeit frustration still moves the wheel.

I don't think that Earthwalker is off topic at all. In reading and re-reading her comments I continue to see she's shared a means of honoring the Self and personal views while honoring those of others so depression and anger are not a factor. It can be released when we apply these techniques. It may be that you would want to use other semantics but the gist of what she's saying is how to step into that neutral state that allows a sense of balance to come forward with the energy we're holding. It does not harbor negative energy of depression or anger. We can look at an issue or situation that triggers our emotions and we can let those emotions lead us into depression feeling rejected or we can get angry and want to change things. At the same time we can step back from that knee-jerk reaction to pounce or dive deep into the Shadow side of things and choose another course. Reason, logic, respectfully honoring the other side of things we can work through differences and come to a mutually satisfactory resolution. It's choice and balance again. *Soft smile* Through Earthwalker's choice to not allow depression and anger to reside with her she holds a neutral position and can work with issues or situations that arise peacefully and gracefully. IMHO she's very much on topic, she's presenting a means of transmuting a negative into a positive or the contrary means of dealing with things into honed skills that produce positive results.

“I still don't see how it connects to the book, to be honest. And I don't see anger as negative. It's like fear, desire, hate or love - a natural instinctive emotion that serves a purpose. I do agree that knee-jerk reactions aren't useful, but surely it's more important to work out why there was such an instinctive reaction before you can deal with it? I prefer to know why I'm labeling something before I label it.”

I believe working it through before taking action or diving into the emotion with knee-jerking reactions is what Earthwalker was in essence saying. Of course we're going to feel the impact of an emotion, that's very natural. But feeding it when it's negative or jumping down the proverbial rabbit hole is a choice. If we don't see it happening at first we do have the choice at the point of recognition to do something positive about it. At least that's how I see it. If we dwell on the negative that's what we'll see or find, if we focus on the positive we'll see and find it. I try to look for the light in everyone and all situation, at least to the best of my ability. If it's being swallowed by darkness I'll dig around and look for a spare flashlight. Dead batteries? Then it's a run to the store....entering the Silence with Spirit to find my answers. (Edit: Glad you got it, we must have posted at the same time.)

Let me preface this with I used to hate these type books in my psychology and Sociology classes.

When I read these type things the first thing that always jumps to my mind is it is another of many books that support and in some cases defends the victim mindset. It's not even a notion that is aimed at just one sex either but both depending upon which author one elects to read. Of course if it is to be the fault of men then it's aimed at women. If it is to be the fault of women it's aimed at men. It if is to allow or place blame on everyone else then its aimed at both. It seems that many still follow the same old tired routine, if it happens it's not your fault. It's the fault of men, the fault of society, the fault of your mothers, your father's, it's the fault of everyone but you. Granted there are up sides and down sides to any issue that delves into the notion of social structure and order. Some things that impede growth and some that support it are to be found in all levels across the scope of the system.

Fissure's that originate in our collective pasts that run into the present though more and more attention and effort is being applied to many to close it off and remove the ancient influence. It's funny I hear "If you’re a woman, you’re not supposed to display anger" and it's used as a legitimate reason for them to have issues. Yet if it is a man that displays emotions then it's against the system. Sorry but it does not cut it. The earliest issues I had originated from my mother, issues that you have to be strong, you have to take care of women and treat them like ladies. Similar issues my sisters would encounter that originated back in the earliest days of our lives. Some blame it upon a male dominated society yet more often than not the women dictated the life and expectations of her offspring in the early stages and set the stage for what would follow.

Yes there were social restrictions and expectations to be found. Even racial barriers to be encountered and manipulated based upon ones year of birth and locale. Yet those changes and charges almost different for each generation and many times coupled to advances in technology and warfare. That didn't even touch upon social changes and upheavals that impacted across the board. The excerpts of this book I have read seem to support that notion yet once again, enable the victim mindset.

Crow, I think the example of the wolf is important and it is about drawing boundaries. The boundaries, once drawn and stated, do eliminate harbor annoyances which can turn into deep seated anger and depression. However, humans are also capable of reason and our roles and responsibilities within the human community are more complex than the alpha and beta roles of a wolf pack.

To me the answer is really just about being oneself (the wolf). It's about making a decision (the wolf attacked) and taking responsibly for one self and for any personal actions taken (she may no longer be able to mate). As a human, we could question is that what I really want forever or could I change my first inkling to react and instead find a better way of saying no while keeping options open.

I find that when I step back from the knee jerk reaction, I can typically make better decisions. I personally think it's important to recognize and taken into consideration that all individuals involved each filter anything said or any action taken through our own cultural and experiential filters / personal stories. As an example, when I was younger and in collage, a group of us would go out dancing. Obviously, we are not always attracted to everyone. So what do you do when someone asks you to dance that you don't find attractive? I always made the choice to dance at least once with everyone that asked me to dance. I reasoned, how would I feel if I got the courage up to ask someone to dance and they said no? I further reasoned that it often took a lot for an individual to ask a person to dance and I wouldn't want to miss out on potential friendships. Most often I didn't dance with the person a second time since we had nothing in common. Still I felt we were both better off. (As a wolf, I said no but not by disrespecting and humiliating the other wolf)

If we care enough about the other people or the situation, I feel tempering our response to yield a positive response can be beneficial, even if at times we need to agree to disagree. I try to look at another's response to a question through their perspective before responding. This doesn't mean we all don't go off the deep end at times and /or offend without intent (stress from other situations and lack of knowledge about cultures can be typical causes of problems). To stay in balance, I find I need to forgive myself and / or others for these types of responses as well. WHO is benefitted by long standing anger. Take action instead.

In other threads, discussion has taken place about the anger stemming from a male dominated society. I can only say that I believe we are changing and a lot has changed at least in the US. When confronted with this type of anger, I don't stand in the anger but ask what action can I take to resolve the immediate situation. As an example, when I was filling out forms (34 years ago) to enter the hospital for my first child I too was asked for my husband's information only. Admittedly I was surprised. Annoyance was removed by a simple discussion and laughter. I remember questioning if they didn't want my information as well since I was the one having the child and that my insurance carrier was the primary carrier. After thinking about it, the administrate clerk stated good points and they simply added my information to the form. This simple question resolved my frustration. Three years later when filling out forms for my son's birth I wondered, the forms had been changed.

I lived in NYC when the feminist movement just started. In theory, I support equal rights but never felt I had to be something I wasn't. I never agreed that disrespect of male counter parts was the path to liberation. I simply was myself and did a really good job. I never felt I had to dress as a male etc. Another example of action as opposed to anger was when my father felt I needed to have an education degree whereas I wanted to go into research. I just got both mnor. education and chemistry (after all he was paying for part of my degree and was only trying to protect me). I then went into research. There are many examples of actions taken to resolve the anger of situations. I have always found that just standing in respect for oneself, attempting to understand where others are coming from , and making a decision that respects everyone is best, avoid and overreaction response. Be yourself, fight for yourself and let the situation acted upon to evolve over time. This eliminates the depression and anger associated with larger issue that one person cannot change.

Admittedly, this path is natural for me and I sometimes would love to have personal characteristics that are more spontaneous in nature. If however, I can recognize that I often need the counterbalance from someone different that myself, I can also achieve balance and remove anger. In other words stand in respect for others way and again the way for action is cleared and anger is dissipated. We are the wolf but we can choose our way as well.

I often find myself frustrated. There are big global issues out there. I question internally how will they be handled when we can't resolve even the small ones? Still I recognize that sometimes the small issues are the only one we are capable of dealing with so they are chosen as a priority. Balance is therein found, and anger and depression is dissipated.

Still, for simplicity; the life of a wolf seems?


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INDEX Page 1
(Divination & Dreams, Guides & Spirit Helpers)
INDEX Page 2
INDEX Page 3
(Main Section, Medicine Wheel, Native Languages & Nations, Symbology)
INDEX Page 4
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INDEX Page 5
(Sacred Feminine & Masculine, Stones & Minerals)
INDEX Page 6
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INDEX Page 7
(Totem Animals)
INDEX Page 8
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