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Reading
Advice
Readers
Responsibilities
By SilverEagleDreamDancer
This thread grew out of the
symbology discussion. I felt it would make a good thread
of its own to start.
“I feel there's only
one thing a reader is accountable for and that's being
available for Spirit to pass the message. You aren't
responsible for how it's received, what someone does
with the information or whether they even believe you.
Moving with integrity doesn't require you to take on
that which you can't control. There are times you know
a message will hurt.. but you can't know the persons
path at the time or what their soul needs to evolve.
That's up to them and Spirit.” Anyone else is welcome
to add advice for new readers on the subject.
Cinnamon:
The only accountability is to the message. Accurate
and honest presentation without embellishments. If there
is a negative situation presented I tend to point out
that based on the current perspectives the person is
holding, and the choices they are making the outcome
looks troublesome. That perhaps they could take a different
approach and neutralize or enhance the situation. Then
I share what guidance comes through so they have something
to base their shifting perspective on.
Through detailed understanding
in the messages we can highlight these things for them.
I stay true to the message this way and the advice that
comes through is always very helpful. See yourself as
the handset on the phone and the message coming across
the wire is something you have to convey. It's not you
that's the source, you're just the transmission process.
The person is responsible for what they do with that
information, your responsibility begins and ends with
conveying it.
As for symbolic representations,
our Guides are mind readers. They telepathically tap
our thoughts and will use them to convey the messages.
It makes perfect sense to me that if you are a fan of
Oz that they would show you Kansas to tell you this
woman's name was Dorothy...star of the show! Use the
symbols that speak to you in this way first, the universals
last. Ultimately what things mean to us is most important.
While I read with cards I
am also taking in sensory input from my Guides who flood
me with impressions. Good and bad feelings, smells,
sometimes words, it all plays together and I find a
way to convey the feelings they give me so the person
understands things better. It's all a part of the process
and the more you open to it the more details you'll
pick up.
Readings may not always make
sense to us and that's a 50/50 issue in most cases.
It doesn't matter though. Our job is to convey the message
"as is" and let the person decide if they
can use it or not. In most cases, even if we don't understand
the message, the person receiving it will. If they don't
they do soon after.
People also like to second
guess events. It's always the first event to take place,
often in an unexpected/unanticipated situation, and
rarely do you see it being otherwise. So tell them to
watch for the next
turn of events. That keeps them alert and helps them
accept the validation.
Finally, you will find people
that want to hear what they want to hear. This is a
difficult reading only because they will blame you for
not getting what they want, or claim the reading to
be *all wrong*, that kind of thing. Know that you need
to disassociate from the blame. Deliver your message
regardless and step out of the situation. It's no longer
your responsibility once that message has been delivered.
Keep up the practice, trust
what you get, and watch for your validation so your
confidence grows. After decades of doing readings I'm
trusting my cards and Guides way more than what people
say. Intimate issues often come up and people get embarrassed.
So make sure you stress confidentiality. If you share
intimacies you ruin your own reputation. It won't matter
how good you are if people can't trust you keeping their
secrets safe.
Sunflower:
What makes a bad reading? I didn't think there could
be such a thing, maybe things are a little off, but
never can you get a bad reading. That is until my Mother
went to get one. I don't know the credibility of her
reader but I will tell you how she felt. She felt belittled
and like she didn't know how to handle her own life.
Then she got very angry and decided to not trust any
reader again. During her reading, the reader did not
tell her anything she didn't already know, she preached
to her and tried to tell her how to live her life, what
she's doing wrong and what she should do to fix the
things that she thought needed to be fixed.
This
doesn't sound to me like messages from Spirit, but more
like messages from an overconfident reader. Let's see
what was my point.....Oh, how important it is too....
“I
stay true to the message this way and the advice that
comes through is always very helpful. See yourself as
the handset on the phone and the message coming across
the wire is something you have to convey. It's not you
that's the source, you're just the transmission process.”
Cinnamon:
Tarot Readers and Spiritual Advisors are always dealing
with negative press and reputation through those who
are less than reputable taking advantage of people.
Once burned twice shy and you often find yourself under
that microscope. The best way I've found to counter
that is to just be yourself, be honest, do the best
you can and know that you can't do it all for the person
seeking your help. All you can do is relate things as
they are shown to you and if you do it with integrity
no one can fault you. Honesty is always best. If I can't
see something I tell them so. We aren't all-knowing,
we're just humans tapping information to be shared and
doing the best we can.
Greywolftribe:
Lots of good advice here. Thank you. I find it a
challenge when someone comes to me with their broken
spirits sometimes I use the messages I get from spirit
to help them without them knowing I am reading them.
I keep this part of me very private so very few people
know that I read. So when the broken hearted are sent
my way I am shown what to say that will help them.
A few
times the people I have helped knew I was a See'r but
that’s not very often. I feel as if this is my
calling. A "Spirit Healer " if you will. It’s
very strange but when I am helping someone I become
a part of what happened so I can see it firsthand sometimes
even feel it. I have thought to myself, the thing most
people have to say about their problems is "nobody
knows how I feel" Spirit shows me how they feel.
When
they realize I know what they are feeling they open
up and let the healing happen.
It’s
very unique how different each of our gifts are but
again how much they are the same.
Agatapas:
A very interesting thread, indeed. So I decided to
put my few cents to it lol. The problem I have with
the people who come to me to get a reading usually expect
me to look at the cards and tell them about their future
in single detail. I always try to persuade them that
tarot is not a crystal ball, not an oracle having answers
to every single question.
We rule our lives
and nothing is written in stone. Some things should
remain unspoken, cos while we do not get them ourselves,
there will be no point. However there are times when
I see unavoidable events in my friends future, so when
I see the bad is going to happen I try to prepare this
person for this and look for the sources and the outcomes
of this situation. Many times we pay a high price for
our spiritual development, we suffer and we do not understand
our pain, the point of doing a reading is to explain
the purpose of the events which are happening, a need
for such lesson, which will strongly benefit us in future.
As Cinnamon said
we always need to be honest, I always say if I can't
see anything, cos it happens often that the cards have
no message for me, or the message is short and very
concrete, and there is no point in draining.
Cinnamon:
Personally, I've found that the shorter messages
are there because the person is not open to longer ones.
If they are the cards will continue to flow with information
and I can answer any question they ask me. No matter
how many! But the one question that is never answered
is the one that addresses "what is the universe
going to do" when I see it working behind the scenes.
My only answer to them then is that we are not shown
so we stay out of our own way. That's why we're getting
that help in the first place. All I can tell them is
that it's working for or against the outcome they seek.
If I see something negative
I will ask the cards what an alternative course of action
would be to achieve a better outcome. I'm often shown
alternatives. If the course remains the same I find
it is indeed a lesson they need to experience.
Another issue that comes up
a *lot* is the reading staying the same over repeated
sessions or addressing the same issue regardless of
the question asked.
When this happens I know the
person is not receiving no matter what they claim to
understand. They are not accepting the message. Then
the guidance coming through will drill that message
home. When they finally do accept it the message shifts
and continues to unfold with additional information.
I make that a very strong point at such times and I
tell them when I can see they are ignoring things. 99%
of the time they will admit to that too.
If a client is stubborn and
wants a situation to change but will not take action
to bring that change about or follow the advice given
that situation tends to continue in their life until
they relent. I have seen countless events that were
supposed to happen in a few days or weeks take months
for this very reason. As soon as the client takes the
advice it moves again. So people do get in their own
way and hold back progress. It's a lesson they need
there too...one of trust.
As you work with people and
they see validations coming through time and again they
begin to develop a level of trust with you too. This
makes other readings in the future go much better however
they do have personalities and if you have one that
is stubborn the pattern will continue until they choose
to break it.
WolfSpirit
UK:
Hi all, This is a very important thread to me right
now...
I often
worry I should not be saying some stuff - that I could
be sounding like the reader Sunflower describes and
the seeker could be saying this of me:
“She
felt belittled and like she didn't know how to handle
her own life. Then she got very angry and decided to
not trust any reader again. During her reading, the
reader did not tell her anything she didn't already
know, she preached to her and tried to tell her how
to live her life, what she's doing wrong and what she
should do to fix the things that she thought needed
to be fixed.”
My reaction
is to put sensitive stuff as a question, but then I
wonder if I am detracting from the message - making
it sound unsure. I might try and give a number of options
as to the meaning, and let the seeker figure out the
correct one - but then I worry that the person will
take this as they want to take it and not what I felt
spirit was trying to tell them, thus confounding the
seeker into feeling that they are justified in the action
that they are taking that is causing them problems.
Cinnamon,
I
am very interested in what you said about alternative
paths - if you were doing a card reading would this
be by taking more cards - or purely asking our guides
to put it another way - another example?
The point
about symbology is very pertinent to me at the moment.
I find spirit is showing me "people" i know
who have walked a similar path to the person who i am
reading for, to give me background on the path they
have taken so far, that helps me get their spiritual
signature.
Cinnamon:
"My reaction is to put sensitive stuff as a
question, but then I wonder if I am detracting from
the message - making it sound unsure."
Yes you are. I tell people
that more often than not intimate details come to light
to validate the readings I give. That they should know
I hold them in strict confidence and their secrets are
safe. People deny truths that bring embarrassments to
them.
By posing questions on sensitive
issues you may want to make it a lighter statement instead.
"I feel this_________ in regards to _____________."
This is usually your Guide/s washing you with sensation
and showing you how the person is feeling so you can
adjust it that way.
"I might try and give
a number of options as to the meaning, and let the seeker
figure out the correct one - but then i worry that the
person will take this as they want to take it and not
what i felt spirit was trying to tell them, thus confounding
the seeker into feeling that they are justified in the
action that they are taking that is causing them problems."
I think you're right in that
assumption. It's like giving someone too many choices.
"You pick" it's not about picking. It's about
the message and you don't have to resolve the issue
if that's not being made clear to you. You can see the
times to advise when warnings or forewarnings come up.
Free will gives us the option to change and make choices
that will alter outcomes. I find that by saying "If
you follow your current course and thought patterns
I see the outcome being ________. I suggest if that
is not what you're looking for that you seriously reconsider
your options and rethink the actions you want to take.
We can always look at things down the road for more
guidance." That gives them permission to be in
control as much as they possibly can.
"Cinnamon, I am very
interested in what you said about alternative paths
- if you were doing a card reading would this be by
taking more cards - or purely asking our guides to put
it another way - another example?"
Well by the example I just
gave you and both of the theories you suggested. If
more information is needed I keep pulling cards. A full
reading from me utilizes the entire deck and I've had
them go on to reshuffle and go through that deck 2-3
times or more. I go with what I feel is right there.
So long as the person is receiving the messages the
information and insight will continue to flow. There's
a great example with the reading you did for Raven.
It kept going and going and going. But that's because
it was being received and worked with. Had it been a
closed reception then the messages would have fallen
flat.
"The point about symbology
is very pertinent to me at the moment. I find spirit
is showing me "people" I know who have walked
a similar path to the person who I am reading for, to
give me background on the path they have taken so far,
that helps me get their spiritual signature."
Yes, our own lessons in life
and those we've gained through observation are the guides
by which we teach. It gives you that feel so you know
how to respond to them.
Silver Eagle Dreamer:
I used to be a reader in Vegas where there, you have
to be licensed - believe it or not! As you can imagine,
there were a great many people with their shingles out
as readers there (10 or more years ago btw) and very
few that I felt were genuine. So I can smell a 'bad'
reader a mile away.
Things to look for: -
the money angle. I knew readers that would convince
their clients that they had to come back in a week for
a reading because they couldn't tell right then or would
have more information then. (they tried to get me to
do that - unsuccessfully) The other money trick was
to engage the person in chit chat for a half an hour,
read for a half an hour, have some BIG thing come up
in the reading just as it was about to end so that they'd
have to pay for more time to find out. The standard
there were hour readings so they'd end up paying for
another hour. Then if you could scare them into coming
back next week.. you had a regular client. Turned my
stomach!
One last money trick...
not seeing until the client pays you more. I didn't
even know this was an issue until I had a client that
tried that on me. I really wasn't reading her... happens
sometimes. You just don't have anything for ‘em.
I told her I'd refund her money and she could try someone
else if she wanted. She handed me 50$ and asked if I
could see anything now. I showed her the door. And believe
it or not - the place I hung my shingle wasn't too happy
about it because she complained! I didn't work for them
long, needless to say. The only reason I was there was
because the place I loved to work at - with good readers
and a nurturing environment - closed and I had to have
a place to hang my license that was zoned. At the time,
they were the only place. It was either work there or
not at all.
Bad reader stuff #3 -
same reading for everyone that comes in the door - but
they don't know it. Yes, knew someone who did that too.
Everyone that came to see him had an Indian guide over
their right shoulder etc...
Bad readers bottom line
is always, how do we keep the client interested or scared
enough to keep paying. The saddest of all things - a
few of them had genuine talent, from what I could tell
but it never developed fully because what they were
doing to keep clients became their primary motivation,
not the clients welfare and growth - not their connection
to Spirit. Money is important as it's the sole income
of some in the biz.
That's how Spirit wants
it for them. But it should never be the motivation in
your relationship with a client. Be there for them and
Spirit and the money will be there. Spirit will see
to it. Then it grows from a healthy spiritual place.
Cinnamon:
Well said! Interesting gimmicks that people come
up with. Being a full-time reader myself I see a lot
of con games going on through the eyes of my clients.
One advisor told one of my clients that she had a curse
on her. For a mere $1600.00 (!!!) she would lift that
curse. The money was just to cover the cost of a very
rare crystal the woman would send my client on loan
and when returned she'd refund the money. Yeah right!
This woman was all set to have the curse lifted at that
fee when she called me. I told her to go to the local
herb shop, buy a smudge stick for under $5.00, and avoid
this scam. Later we had a good laugh but at the time
it was very serious stuff.
This kind of thing goes on
all the time and it's what makes a lot of people shy
away from the "psychic" label to begin with.
These are talents we all have, all we have to do is
trust in them and watch them grow strong. The sensory
muscles atrophy from disuse and it takes exercising
them to build them back up again. Most people take them
on a superficial perspective, but when properly honored
those muscles do grow and they grow strong and true.
Thank you SEDD, for the insights
and the integrity with which you work. (Not that the
integrity doesn't sparkle on its own. It sure does!)
Sunflower:
Wolf Spirit, Please let me reassure you. I have
been following your readings in the practice forum and
think you are doing such a great job for a beginner.
It is unbelievable to see you shine like you are. I
do not see you falling into that category of readers
that I described above. You are clearly delivering Spirit's
message and you do not sound like a preaching therapist.
You see, this reader was telling her things like she
needs to eat well balanced meals, think more positively,
let go of her negative qualities and stop her bad habits.
And if she did all these things her life will improve.
She also gave her a list of 16 names (David, John, Mary,
etc.) of people who could influence her in the future.
This is someone who is reading for the money and you
have nothing to worry about in this department. I just
thought I should clarify a bit so you'll know that this
reader was not giving insight, but common knowledge
and good odds.
Shine
On Wolf Spirit
WolfSpirit
UK:
Thanks Sunflower, I read your post and I did get
a bit worried. I feel that the cards I read could ask
us to look deeper into ourselves than some other cards
- and some people may not want to do this - or it may
feel like it is criticism of them - and reading your
post it did occur to me that I could be doing exactly
what your post was talking about - but now I can see
the difference.
Thanks
for putting up your post to me - it really helped that
you feel I do not fall into that category! I have read
back my readings after seeing your post and that was
why I came back here and had a post myself. Yes this
is new to me - more so the being on the net side - if
a person is with you in person, body language helps
you figure out if the message is being received and
how it is being received. I suppose I am learning here
to trust my guides to tell me what needs to be emphasized
and what needs to be pulled back a little. I can see
now that this is different than just giving someone
general advice about stuff they could read about if
they took the time - I take it the names your mother
was given were just common names that could speak to
anyone! I think this is why I work with the cards I
do - they are very personal and the person can usually
see where they come in. I am learning now to work direct
with my guides a little more, without the cards, and
I'll see how this goes! Should be interesting! Your
post has alerted me to a few pitfalls of doing readings
- and maybe that is not a bad thing! Thanks again Sunflower!:
Cinn,
I think I will learn in time how to get things over
- I have learnt already - and I have found myself using
" I feel". I think your advice about showing
the options is good advice in how to deal with stuff
if the message is not getting through or if there is
something I feel I need to emphasize. I will keep this
in mind - also that there may be a need to look at more
cards. This ties in with what the lady who runs the
spiritualist center is always telling us - ask for more
information - so yes, I can understand what you say.
Thanks again Cinn!
Cinnamon:
You bet!
Tarra:
Greetings everyone! This was a nice lesson. Thanks
everyone for sharing.
ShaeTheFireWitch:
I feel it needs to be explained in further detail and
talk about a little something called FREE WILL. I have
been reading professionally as a psychic for sixteen
years now. And the above quote from Silver Eagle Dreamer
is very true. When you "read" for someone,
you are merely the vessel for Spirit to express through.
We have no control over what comes through in a session,
and many times in my experience it may not be the answer
a client wants to hear.
People have
free will to make choices. That is the reason the Universe
gave it to us in the first place. Circumstances and
people do change because of their free will. We make
decisions that alter the course we take and change the
fabric of our lives. Free will reminds us to be very
careful about what we choose and the actions we take
out there in the real world.
There is
a basic spiritual law that says we cannot impose or
force our free will onto someone else. If we do that,
we are imposing ourself onto another person and forcing
them or circumstances to our favor. If this is done,
you are interfering with the other party's free will
and their right to choose. We cannot force someone to
love you, marry you, give you things or create situations
that will work solely to your advantage. We can wish
circumstances or the situations are different. But,
the bottom line here is there people have free will
and can make their own individual choices. We may not
like it or agree with it. IF you do force your will
upon someone, keep in mind, someday somehow it will
come back upon you.
Spirit and
our guides have free will too. Many times, I have asked
for answers to questions I may not get an immediate
response to. It can be frustrating. But, as we all know,
being on a spiritual journey, we work with timing. Not
our normal sense of timing, but Spirit's timing. What
our timeline is and what Spirit's timeline is are two
completely different things. If we try to force the
natural order of things- nine times out of ten, it won't
work. If we don't get an immediate answer, that is Spirit
simply saying let this unfold naturally or asking us
to surrender the issue to them, so it can be worked
out on a Higher level.
Free will
comes down to several things. If you do not get an immediate
answer to the questions you ask, listen to the silence,
surrender the issue to it. Let it go and place it in
the hands of the Universe to work itself out. Don't
obsess over it-that is why it is called surrender-be
open to whatever is the highest good for everyone concerned..
Normally when you do this, it will work itself out in
short order and you will get an answer. Hang onto the
issue, riding the emotional merry go round of the "what
ifs" and any and every kind of block will find
its way to the issue to block the natural flow of the
Universe and an outcome being achieved..
Remember,
you have free will and a choice! If you don't like your
choice, the beauty is you can choose again. It is choosing
to be open and allowing that helps free will manifest
the desires of your heart to manifested into reality.
On that
note- I will get off my soapbox now..
Shamanaska:
Blessed Be to you!
I didn't get to read the entire thread- but what I did
read through I am just so impressed with! I have been
reading professionally for years as well and I must
say that everything you've all written here is so true
and right and sacred to me-
Personal pet peeve of my own is going to a psychic who
tells me things I already know
-
I just can't see why anyone would want to go spend upwards
of $50 and above for a reading to be told everything
they already know. For me- I tend to focus on the "why"
they wanted a reading and then make sure that people
feel differently- then when they came to me. If that
makes sense-I don't "try" to read for someone-
If I feel Spirit... then I use whatever is at my disposal
at the time... but if I don't feel Spirit- I won't just
to tell them what they need to hear or anything like
that either....
I'm
just so very impressed with the ambiance I want to say
but that probably isn't the right word...I'm really
impressed with the truth I keep seeing in every and
all topics I peruse...
Reading
Advice
By SilverEagleDreamDancer
Something on my mind this
morning I thought I would offer up here. We all like
good news, happy information. But generally, when someone
comes to you for a reading, it's not because their life
is going well, it's because they have concerns - not
made decisions that need to be made - or are looking
for an ally for their position or actions. In general,
someone will want a reading on what's considered to
be the 'big three' - love, money, or career.
Now, there are times when
the information you've been given to pass on isn't happy,
rosey information and, given the reasons they came in
the first place, is it any wonder? In fact, there are
many times when you will be bearing a message that you
can sense.. they don't want to hear but is beneficial
to their growth. What do you do? Do you change it to
something more palatable but still the same message
or give it to ‘em straight up - as you got it from
Spirit? Your answer will determine the level of integrity
you read with and whether you truly care about the people
you read for.
Cinnamon: Hi SEDD,
Good question! I'm afraid in my case there isn't a clear
cut answer to that. I balance it with the energy signature
of the individual. Some people are more unstable than
others and need the softening, or perhaps they are too
stubborn for the gentle approach and need a 2x4 swat.
It varies according to the situation and I adjust going
with the flow. It's become part of my method to do that
over the years as I've come up against some doozies
where people want to argue trying to hear what they
want to hear rather than the truth. I've scolded like
I would my own children with some, comforted others,
and been blunt. It all depends. In any case, ethics
and integrity still guide me and the message is never
altered it's either softened, balanced, or strengthened
and my Guides are right there to nudge me in those directions
too.
One thing I've found that helps in delicate situations
is to remind the person that they should not shoot the
messenger, that all I can do is tell them what I'm shown
and relate that in the best way I can. Sometimes clients
will slam the phone down in my ear, some will cry, sometimes
I cry with them, empathy is like that. But I always,
always, always speak truth and what I'm shown.
Sometimes some very intimate and personal insights are
given to me and I have to cushion that initial shock
with a statement like: "Oh my, they're showing
me some very private information, please know I keep
this confidential, it's here to validate this portion
of the reading for you. This is what they are telling
me:__________." It helps a lot in most cases. I
try to be as gentle with bad news as I can be, but sometimes
you have to get out the hammer and nails too.
I think the ethics and integrity
someone reads with are going to be guided by the same
principles that they walk their path with. If you're
honest with yourself you'll be honest with others and
*do the right thing*. It will be interesting to see
what others have to say about this. Maybe I should have
waited to comment, but I'm here now and it's quiet for
the moment so I took advantage of it!
Spiritually speaking, the
experiences in life are lessons we all need and I'm
always aware of the spiritual
path a person is taking on some level. In the readings
I see when and where the universe is at play, and explain
that everything happens for a reason. If the news is
really bad I will tell the individual what I'm able
to share with them in that regard to help them embrace
the situation for what it is. Often out of bad situations
there is good that comes in the end.
If, let's say someone wants
a specific love interest to come their way and it's
not indicated to be happening, I will tell them it's
about choices. They can choose selfishly to want to
hold onto someone who doesn't want to be with them and
live a lie, or they can choose to set that person and
themselves free so they can both find the happiness
they want elsewhere. It works in areas of money, career,
or relationship issues very well to remind them they
can choose the manner in which they react to their emotions.
You can't help everyone to
grasp things either, all you can do is relate the reading
to the best of your ability. What they do with the information
is up to them, but I do offer spiritual advice at the
same time so they are always directed back to Spirit
for deeper insights. I feel that's number one and why
Spirit directed their troubles to me in the first place.
Those that are open to Spirit embrace it well, others
open their eyes to the fact they need to find their
faith again. Either way you touch a life in a good way.
Mouse:
hmmm....Interesting one SEDD. My inexperience hasn't
really given me much opportunity to examine this, so
I'm going by what has revealed itself to me so far.
First
off, I trust that the information that comes, or even
sooner, the card that comes, is indicative of the level
of understanding and openness that the querrant has.
So a card that acts as a portal to a harsher message,
usually comes for a person who is ready to hear that
harsher message. A more gentle message will come for
a person who is working through the deeper issue one
layer at a time, and needs to build up confidence first
before looking through the other layers...
Sometimes
I will feel the anxiety, grief or anger which I believe
is from the querrant, and will acknowledge what I am
feeling... validating the intensity of their emotions.
So far I've noticed it helps to bridge the gap between
what they want to hear, and that which they are presented
with by Spirit.
