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Classic vs Core Shamanism
Ethics of Spellcasting
Ethics of the Native Sacred Point of View
Following Others Discussion
Galactic Gateways
Harvesting the Fruits of Aging Discussion
Ley Lines & Vortexes
Mazes, Labyrinths & Spiral Discussion
Mother Earth
Praying Peace Discussion
Seeing through Soft Eyes
Soul Retrieval Discussion
Soul vs Spirit Discussion
Spirit Names & Their Medicine


Avoiding The Fostering Of Negative Perspectives
By CinnamonMoon

We all come into rough times in life, times that can make us angry or bitter. When we experience something deeply wounding it is so easy to foster the negative perspective. We can tell when we're doing that because we look for others who will lend their ears and offer us sympathy and we don't just do it to vent or let off steam, we do it consistently over the same matter…over and over again every chance we have. It becomes an obsession or potentially a compulsive issue and dwelling on it is like treading water, you don't go anywhere you just stay where you're at and exhaust yourself. Your energy gets low and you grab onto anything or anyone that comes along to rest yourself. Those who offer sympathy and continue to do so without offering a solution are helping to create a state of self-victimization. Instead of tending your wound to cleanse it, even if it does sting a little, you're slapping a band aid over a contaminated surface. As you cover it up you have to sit in the pain it has caused. That's not healing or growing from the experience but it is giving the wound room to become quite infected. Then it begins to fester and grow worse, to the point where it can become incapacitating. Anger, resentment, insecurity, low self-esteem, these are energy takers one and all, we deplete our strength and stamina and then turn to others for their support draining their energy resources. We're not getting better and constantly need more support.

If someone is sitting with a negative experience and dwelling on it, they are essentially taking on the role of victim. If they stay in that role too long they end up incapacitated. At that point asking for help in dealing with it becomes an obsession, they aren't looking to really heal, they're looking for someone to listen, offer sympathy and they feed off that sympathy. It becomes a pity party and they want to get all the company they can find to join them and celebrate their misery. When this happens what are we as observers to do? Perhaps we are strongly empathic and their pain is hitting us hard. Do we dive into sympathy mode saying 'there, there, I know it hurts' or do we move past that to compassion and aid? Well we cannot foster negativity when we're to help them empower themselves; that simply doesn't work. All the fostering serves to do is to create a co-dependency…we give and they take.

We need to help them heal and shift their focus to self-empowerment by giving to themselves. Showing someone how to love themselves, how to forgive themselves for making mistakes, and then how to move past them is far more giving than creating that state of co-dependency isn't it? We need to help people find the tools to work through their issues. We can say: "Oh, I know how that feels, and I understand what you're going through. I felt that way too once until I found that ___________ (fill in the spiritual lessons or life lessons that apply to resolving things) and those feelings just started to change in a very positive way!" We can say: "I can only imagine how that must have hurt you and I'm sorry it happened. I've been in a similar situation where _________ (fill in the blank) and I found that by applying certain spiritual perspectives and techniques there was a way to transform the hurt. Would you like to give that approach a try?" If they say yes, then share what you learned. If you can't offer anything perhaps direct them to someone who can, but do something constructive instead of helping them self-destruct or go into a deeper depression.

The physical reality is filled with challenges in life and relationships … the lessons we need to learn to grow often come through such experiences. Some are very painful and sympathy has it's place, but with spiritual perspectives and the higher good in mind we can overcome the sacred point of view overcoming the carnal aspects of life. We can raise our conscious awareness to see the bigger picture stepping out of the glue that holds us to circumstances or situations. Once we learn to do this we learn to move past the pain, to find our own power to rise above these things and grow strong from them…we take the steps we need to take toward healing. We learn to see life lessons for what they are and take from them the wisdom of our experience. Often through this process we see we have been learning through trial and error and much of life is like that. Through our own lessons we come to what we have to offer others…the value of our own experiences and the way to finding the courage to rise above them. Compassion and empathy can be tools of understanding and assistance, or they can be misapplied and lead us into a state of co-dependency. Where sympathy turns negative and fosters that very negativity the person is trying to free themselves from we enable people to stagnate or wallow instead of helping them heal. We're not doing anyone any good that way are we? No one wants to sit in someone else's misery, and while a pity party serves a purpose at first (and we're all entitled to have one now and then) we have to leave that behind and exit that room at some point or we end up in a self-defeating situation that only gets worse.

I try hard not to enter into pity parties finding the more people that join in with the group the longer they seem to last. In order to leave those parties behind we have to step back and that can often take courage…especially if the individual is someone we care deeply for. The experience may have left them in fear or insecure, perhaps it was highly traumatic, or perhaps even left them feeling deep guilt or shame. Sometimes we self-inflict our wounds and at other times we self-infect those inflicted by others. The answer is in learning to stop doing that and begin a healing process through a positive approach. If you take these types of situations and see them as seeds, what kind of soil would you plant those seeds in? One rich with inspiration and encouragement to put for the effort to grow in fertile ground or in the contaminated soil of negative perspectives? Which type of soil will produce a healthy plant? The soil is in our minds…how we add the nutrients to make it fertile determines what that seed pod opens into and whether it will be strong enough to sprout so it can rise above ground. Compassion for that effort is a positive thing and so is our empathy when we use it to understand what it takes to do that based on our own experience. To encourage that effort is like the quenching rains that fall to bring moisture to the soil. That person needs to hear that their efforts are noticed and be encouraged to keep reaching further to find their strength. The effort required to reach up, to rise up like a sprout reaching for the Sun can be very intense as it breaks ground. They may be fearful of not being able to do that alone and we can walk with them matching their efforts, step for step as it were. And we can point out that in that effort the seed has produced something…a new form coming into being…self-empowerment making them stronger and more capable of overcoming their travails. The sprout breaking through the fertile ground grows into a strong and healthy plant because those perspectives continue to draw forth expansion, nurturing like the Sun and rain.

Someone who's been through a negative experience, be that by choice or not, is going to need time to explore it emotionally. At some point that needs to shift to exploration without emotion too. Those emotions are what contain the pain and they have to let them subside first. It's easy, oh so easy to get caught up in that emotional trap. The emotion calls us to the issues and that's where we need to set the emotion down…yep, right on top of that issue so we can hold it in place until it stops wriggling around. Sitting there letting the emotion settle itself a bit helps too. Then we can lift the emotion, set it aside, and begin to examine the issue itself…our part, not the offending party's role but our own role in what played out is what we need to examine first. Why did we let this happen? We were naive? Were we foolish? Were we not thinking? Were we ignoring our own warning signs wanting something to be something it wasn't in the first place? Were we just plain stupid? Whatever the reason, we entered into that experience too and there's a lesson waiting for us but we have to find it, own it, and then take responsibility for it and the change it calls for in our own nature or perspectives. That's not always easy to do, no one likes looking at their misgivings or mistakes.

Helping someone see from this perspective calls for compassion and a non-judgmental approach so they can accept their part in the matter. It brings clarity, empowers them to make a better choice next time, and shows them how they actually grew through the experience. It often lends insight into the other matters with those involved and the individual can see where it was a lesson (learned or not) for them too. Shadow Lessons are generally doozies to be sure, but we all have them, we all get hurt in some fashion and we are all capable of change so it doesn't happen again. If we hold the negative perspective what we're really doing is feeding that pain, feeding into the emotions it brings up, and we're holding ourselves captive. In this we dwell in the past because we can't let go of it. We've all more than likely been on that end of the rope, hanging on for dear life because it is something we think has made a huge impact-and likely it has but now we're turning that impact into an anchor that will not let us move forward. If we let go of that rope the anchor is useless, we can set sail again and we're free. Sure, we know *now* what the rope leads to and we don't have to pick it up again, or another one just like it either…gosh did we just learn something there? We all know rope-burns sting for a while but they can heal. And if we are to help others through situations we can understand instead of rubbing more salt in the wound or joining in the pity party they need to stomp around in. By opening the door for them, inviting them out into another room or out into the sunlight of a new day we can help them see they can change perspectives very quickly. To walk in our own power is to spread that power in the world and the sharing of it helps empower others.

Taking a constructive approach to examining the issues in a given situation allows clarity and a more positive reinforcement. Once the individual opens themselves to those insights they can look at the other person/s involved and gain understanding of their role. Without this experience this knowledge would not have been gained. Suddenly the person bringing the pain to bear may become a great benefactor…or not as the case may be, but we all have our roles to play and we play them for a reason. Perhaps the other person was a Shadow Teacher and the lesson itself was teaching us to find our courage, to dig deep to find our strength, and to overcome their influence and set our own boundaries in life. We'd know another Shadow Teacher just like them the next time one appeared because they'd carry that same kind of energy and we'd be wiser, we'd know what that energy felt like and we'd opt to take another direction and avoid repeating that lesson.

Once we learn we don't have to repeat the course it took to bring us that knowledge…but to get 'there' from 'here' takes time and effort, it takes the willingness to embrace the lesson and to do that we have to see it first. Each painful experience we have in life has its own duration to heal, some faster than others, some spanning many years as we struggle to find our answers. But if we see someone in pain and we recognize that pain from the same or a similar experience we can offer them a way out. If we've conquered that kind of pain ourselves we can share how we learned to overcome it. That's a positive perspective we can gift them with and then we can decide if we're able to walk with them for a while or if we need to keep walking. Sometimes all someone needs is to find their way to the door, some people need a little more help to steady themselves as they walk through it. Whatever the impact of our touch, in some form we've offered healing balm. It's up to them to choose to apply that salve or not, and it's up to them to choose to cleanse their wounds in the first place. Strapping them down and doing it for them won't help the next time you're not around and something happens. Teaching someone how to cleanse their wound and prevent infection is going to bless their journey in life as there are certain to be more along the way in one form or another. And through spiritual perspectives being shared the strength they bring to the surface of things is amazing. Share your healing knowledge with others, steer them away from dwelling in negative perspectives and help them learn to transform them into positive ones. Do the same thing for yourself…learn how to transform yourself, your perspectives, and your life in positive ways. Reach out a hand if you need one, another will take you in hand and help steady you. If not grab the wall and hang on as you stagger out the door but do get out that door as fast as you can.

Whether that escape from pain is short or long in coming, do not berate yourself for the time it takes to achieve it. It is what it is and it was meant to be that way. Some of us are more sensitive than others and I can certainly sympathize with that either way. The point is that sympathy brings forth the compassion but we can't share it with others until they're ready to embrace it and until then all we can do is try to help them see the need to do just that. Sometimes it means being a bit cold or blunt to wake them from their stupor, or someone being cold and blunt to wake us from our own rock bottom state. Eventually we get as low as we can get and when we do the only way is back up out of our pit of despair, back up into the light of day…out of that pocket we were seeded in and into Spirit's nourishment. Offer a hand when you can, take one when you need to but reach either way, don't foster the negative perspectives, shine the light on Spirit and show the way. Once the healing is complete, the strength and courage found, stay your path, do not live up to the expectations of others, do not step aside from your own standards to follow others. Unless you wish to be more like them and learn from them there's nothing you'll gain being a follower. Follow only to observe, learn and then walk your path again. Walk in your own shoes and do it honorably as you follow your path through life. If you fall down pick yourself back up and dust yourself off. Skinned knees happen, they heal and we walk on. And remember, until someone is ready to heal there's no amount of sympathy that is going to quench insatiable wallowing in self-pity. You're not helping them if you feed into that. And if you're feeling the blues it's not going to help you if someone contributes to them either. Help comes from those who say: "Come on, take my hand, I'll help pull you out of that fetid swamp, you don't have to stay there contaminating your spirit." And if someone says that to you take their hand. But don't take the hand of those who want to sit there with you, that's not going to get you anywhere.


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INDEX Page 1
(Divination & Dreams, Guides & Spirit Helpers)
INDEX Page 2
INDEX Page 3
(Main Section, Medicine Wheel, Native Languages & Nations, Symbology)
INDEX Page 4
(Myth & Lore)
INDEX Page 5
(Sacred Feminine & Masculine, Stones & Minerals)
INDEX Page 6
(Spiritual Development)
INDEX Page 7
(Totem Animals)
INDEX Page 8
(Tools & Crafts. Copyrights)

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